Chapter 42

I ignored him. I ignored my dad’s talk about getting a therapist even though I knew that he was right. But I just did not have the energy in me right now to face that. I just wanted to see my Sammy. One more time before he was on display for a bunch of people to cry over at the funeral.

I lay on Sterling’s lap and curled myself in a ball. I closed my eyes and pretended that it was his brother. It was easier when I was looking at him, but with my eyes closed, I knew that it was not him.

I could not feel that connection while laying on his lap. I could not smell the cologne that I had fallen in love with and made Samuel buy every month. I could not feel his actual presence.

Because…just because. He was gone. He was ripped out of this life and all we had left of him was a rotting corpse and memories.

“Dad? How long till we reach the funeral home?” I asked while my eyes remained closed.

“We’re already here, baby. We’re already here,” he replied, and then the car came to a stop. I ope