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129
‘The sob stories, tears … games … vulnerability … fear. I saw the person I thought you were, your reputation—Nothing else. I saw someone trying to manipulate me, Cam … You wouldn’t be the first woman to use abuse as a way to make a man soften towards her.’ He looks away, almost as though he’s ashamed to utter the words to me, and it kicks me in the gut like a mule. His words slice at me like a dull knife straight through my soul, and I flinch in rage as I get exactly what he means.
He thought I was playing him, and all those times he broke me to pieces, was all an act to get under his skin.
‘Believe that I was abused, or that I was traumatised by what you did to me? Fuck you! … You have no idea what I have lived through. What men have done to me. How dare you!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!! And you’re a liar! If you ever really cared about me, then why did you keep pushing me unt
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 130
Alexi regards me for a long moment, so much so I look up at him to see if he even heard me and catch those calm grey eyes locked on me. He looks thoughtful and strangely sobering.‘When Gino and I were around nine years old we looked after a stray dog we called Benny …’ He frowns at me, an air of cute boy crossing his face as though locked onto a happy memory of a pet he once loved. A tiny little hint of dimple as something in his mind’s eye makes him smile just a fraction. I quieten myself down and listen intently, immediately drawn to the hints of genuine in him and captured by it.‘This one day, after school, we took a bone down to the street where we knew he liked to hang around during the day, and we found his body in the gutter … car had hit him and he had died quickly from his injuries when we weren’t there.’ Alexi frowns harder and that softness pales out to a far more sinister look that I am more familiar with;
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 131
I wake up in my own bed. Well, once again ON my bed, with a throw over me, and yet again, it’s mid-morning and I cannot remember anything after falling asleep. There’s no way I just slept right through from five p.m., but as I check my bedside clock it flashes nine forty-three a.m. at me and I rub my eyes in disbelief. I didn’t dream, no night terrors, no crazy shadows and monsters dragging me out of slumber—a silent dreamless sleep that almost never happened before I came back here. This is happening more and more lately and I feel refreshed from a full night’s rest.I am still wearing yesterday’s dress, so Alexi must have brought me through and put me to bed at some point. This is getting to be a habit for him, and I sit and ponder for a moment the fact that he didn’t even try to wake me or do anything beyond let me sleep.I still don’t trust him, but somehow, lately … I don’t hate him quite so much either.
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 132
I am listless and keep clock watching today, even though I have nowhere to be except down in the club, and getting ready for another night of business as usual. I have an idea why it’s making me so restless and frustrated, beyond the obvious sadness. It’s called Alexi.This place is running so smoothly nowadays that I really have nothing much to do most of the time except observe and supervise. Apart from paperwork occasionally and overseeing deliveries I have tuned my well-oiled machine to perfection. Spectacular organisation means it can practically run itself and I can swan around more than actually do anything.Mico appears and catches me sitting at the bar.‘Hey you … future mistress.’ He breaks into a huge amused smile and dumps a pile of files on the bar carelessly that he has obviously brought to go in the office. It looks like some of the accounts we have been waiting for. I’m guessing this is not a random passing jo
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 133
He’s back in minutes with a freshly styled do that adds to that groomed perfection of his as he pulls his jacket on one sleeve. Body emphasised by what he’s wearing and I am instantly drawn like a magnet to look at him. My eyes scan impulsively, immediately to the one thing that stands severely out of place, and causes an instant nervousness deep down in my gut; A tight chokehold on my stomach.‘Why are you carrying tonight?’ I nod towards the holster under his armpit, face dropping as seriousness hits me to dampen my libido. His gun on show and he just ignores me and continues putting on his jacket smoothly to cover it up. Something in my stomach swirls with unease, nerves rising as suspicion hits me and I move closer to him.‘Alexi? You never carry when you’re going to dinner. Why are you taking a gun?’ Sixth sense has all my alarms firing and my palms get instantly sweaty as nerves eat away at me. Something deep down alertin
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 134
It was the gun. It spooked me, and maybe not because of where he’s going, but maybe just seeing it on him, being in the apartment together—alone. Maybe I’m just triggered by memory and being an idiot; that panic inside of something being wrong … was just memory perhaps. I still carry the burden of that night on my soul and this could just be that. Alexi and I, we have so much history and I shouldn’t dismiss the effect it’s had on me and my sanity. Getting myself worked into hysteria and being stupidly weak over something he has with him on a normal day, so why should I freak about him taking it out of an evening? It’s part of his work uniform and not exactly unknown to be on him.‘Are you okay?’ Jackson moves to follow me out but I raise my palm to him.‘I’m calmer … I’ll call him … let him tell me himself I’m an idiot. Honestly, go back down, I’ll be okay once I pull mys
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 135
Heart plummeting and head consumed with worry and frustration. I know it could just be that they don’t want to be disturbed and both have their phones on mute, I have never tried to call him at a dinner before, so I don’t know if that’s normal protocol.I trawl my phone to see if I have Daniels’ number, or any of the other men on his watch, then try Mico again when I find none. It just goes to answerphone right away this time and I shudder. Completely overwhelmed with this and hating how overwrought it has me feeling. I’m just cut loose and lost and don’t know how to act. My brain is spewing over a thousand scenarios and visions that turn my stomach inside out. I need to stop thinking the worst but I can’t help it.Something is wrong. I can feel it in my bones and soul, and Alexi never usually ignores his phone at any other time of day. It seems like Mico has turned his off suddenly and I start to tremble crazily.The pa
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 136
‘Alexi?’ I wail it frantically, as though a ghost has walked in and is trying to trick me. And before thought hits me I chuck my phone down harshly, not caring about breaking it, and run straight for him; my body finding a sudden surge of newfound strength and energy, throwing myself around his neck in a moment of complete craziness before he disappears again.I collide with hard torso, his taller height as I leap at him and wrap myself around his neck, practically strangling him with my overenthusiasm. I’m unable to stop the sobs coming over me as his familiar smell and familiar touch envelopes me completely.‘I thought you were dead.’ I blurt out through laboured breaths, trying to calm down. Shuddering from the come down of my epic emotional breakdown. I pull him close and try to convince myself he really is here. I am all but raking my hands over him to check every inch of him is unscathed, undented and truly real flesh and blood
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 137
Alexi starts pushing into me, quick hard thrusts once he knows my body has accommodated to fit him, and he doesn’t hold back. He fucks me hard, uncontrolled passion as he pushes his weight down on me and finds my wrist with his own hand, pushing one arm over my head and holding me taut, so he can control how deep he hits my core. I claw at his shoulder and cling to him with my free arm, trying to get him as bodily close as I can. I want to taste every inch of him as I lick at his throat, his jawline and capture his lips for another scorching make-out session. I bite on his lip harshly, holding on for dear life and moaning as he screws me with a force that has us both panting and gasping for breath. His bed squeaking and creaking under the effort and I swear it might collapse.It’s not slow or even adventurous by any means. It’s more of a burning need to quickly be consumed, and as he impales me harder, bodies getting clammy with exertion and grunts and groan
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