{~~Avery Sterling~~}This week blew by without anything else memorable happening. I was exhausted, but that didn't matter. It was a Saturday. No work, nothing. So I could come up with something else to keep me busy besides being a nurse, and dealing with crazy patients.I woke up with the kind of excitement that only comes with the promise of a free Saturday, completely shoving the events of last night away. Refusing to let my happy mood fade. The early morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the room. I stretched lazily in bed, savoring the feeling of not having to rush anywhere. Today was going to be a good day. I had been looking forward to spending time with Logan, maybe going for a walk in the park, grabbing some lunch, or just lazing around together. I want to try and work out a friendship. Because if he could at least smile at me, then last night won't make me feel like a whore.It had been a while since we had a day to ourselves without the pressure
{~~Avery Sterling~~}The bad thoughts were starting to get worse, and I let them run free. If I keep thinking of the barbeque as a bad thing then I won't end up feeling butt hurt when they toss me back aside. The barbeque wasn't bad, but I was glad to be away from my parents. Thank goodness. The smell of overcooked meat and the drone of endless small talk had been suffocating, yet a welcome escape from the constant scrutiny of home. My parents had a way of making even the most mundane gatherings feel like high-stakes social performances, and I'd played my part long enough for one day. Because for once, I was invited. While I drove back home, the fading sun casting long shadows across the road, those uneasy feelings I'd managed to forget all day began to resurface. It was as if the closer I got to home, the heavier my chest felt. The relief the pain, ugh I'm over the thought. I waited by the door, if I heard a sound then Logan was back. It was like I'd stepped off from pain and was
{~~Avery Sterling~~}I made it to my room just as Logan's silhouette appeared at the end of the hallway. I closed the door quietly, pressing my back against it as I tried to calm my racing heart. The letters were now safely documented on my phone, but the questions they raised were overwhelming. What did Logan know? And what would he do if he found out I'd been snooping? The unease that had crept back into my heart on the drive home now felt like a permanent fixture.I know the man that Ava was talking too. Do I even want to tell Logan? I ran that piece of shit out of town and he knows it was me who did. Do I even tell Logan? Do I explain why I did it? I helped, I thought she would get over him. She had bloody Logan Grey with her. I ought to strangle that bitch!Okay, play it cool. Play it cool.I went downstairs to say hello to Logan, trying to mask the guilt that gnawed at my insides. I’d just snooped through his room, invaded his privacy, and now I had to face him as if nothing ha
{~~Logan Grey~~}I woke up feeling gloomy, a heavy weight pressing down on my chest. The events of the previous night still clung to me, their echoes haunting my thoughts. I quickly shut down my emotions, pushing them to the back of my mind. I couldn't afford to dwell on them. Not now. Not ever really. I dragged myself out of bed and headed to the bathroom. The steam from the hot shower enveloped me, offering a brief respite from the turmoil inside. I stood under the water, letting it wash away the remnants of sleep and the sorrow that threatened to overwhelm me. I shaved the stubble that had begun to grow on my face, each stroke of the razor a small act of control in a life that felt increasingly out of my grasp.After drying off, I ran a towel through my hair, the repetitive motion soothing in its simplicity. My phone buzzed on the counter, a message from my mother lighting up the screen. With a sense of resignation, I picked it up and read the text.Mother: Come over for dinner to
{~~Logan Grey~~}Dinner two was bland and disappointing, much like most things in my life these days. My parents, in their never-ending quest to cheer me up, had invited some of my old friends from college- the worst thing they could ever do. They were in town for the weekend, and my parents thought a little reunion might lift my spirits. I doubted it, but I didn't have the energy to argue. After dinner, we all decided to sit outside for a beer while my family stayed inside to have dessert.Ryan was there too, of course. He was my best friend, practically family, and we had gone to college together. If anyone could drag me out of my funk, it was him, but even he seemed at a loss these days with his case. I cracked open my first beer of the night, hoping it would take the edge off the hollow feeling inside me.My friends started talking about their lives, and I could feel myself sinking deeper into my chair. Some were discussing how they were engaged, how love was the best thing to eve
{~~Avery Sterling~~}The next morning, a Sunday, dawned with a sense of dread hanging over me. When I tell you I didn't even want to get up, it's not an understatement. I wanted to be in bed, doing absolutely nothing. I did not want to see the face of the man that continuously broke my heart. But that would not be the case. According to our contract, Logan and I were supposed to have dinner together. It was a part of our agreement, a forced semblance of normalcy in a situation that was anything but, we spent the whole day avoiding each other. It's like we both knew the contract, signed by the both of us, a lawyer and stamped my a judge, obligated us to spend the evening together and that was going to suck. I buried myself in my room, working on my computer, trying to lose myself in the tasks at hand- which unfortunately wasn't much but my sadness made me pretend it was. Logan, as usual, was nowhere to be found. It was clear he didn't want to be around me. The hours ticked by slo
{~~Avery Sterling~~} Love, that emotion is such a hoax. Actually, it’s not. It’s beautiful with the right person, ugly with the wrong person. But I can’t have the beauty or the ugliness when my love is unrequited. When I first met him, the Medic alpha in training, I was enamored. Mostly due to the fact that our pack has never had a medic alpha before. They’re usually assigned to the bigger, and more popular packs, ours was none of that. I was delighted. At the age of eleven, I was getting into the phase of having crushes, and the thirteen-year-old medic alpha was right in my sight. He was smart, charming, too good to be training to work in a pack like ours. No offense. I know my father worked hard but we had to be honest. I hoped he’d notice me, and we’d become friends. Move from friends to lovers. Yes, I had it all planned out in my head. I knew when we’d get married and have children, and blah blah blah. I was learning what it meant to love, and he was befriending my sister. Ne
{~~Avery Sterling~~} I said yes. I’m weak for him, I know. I’m disappointed in myself too. The more I thought about being his wife, the less the consequences seemed to be. Two weeks went by and we were set to be married. I’d had all my stuff moved here, Logan gave me a spot in his house to put them in. A large room. Not the master bedroom. I’m not sure why, but slowly it started to dawn on me. I am the definition of desperation. Who gets engaged to the man who spent half his life fawning over her sister? I must be crazy. I stared at myself in the mirror. We’re not having a big wedding. Logan’s invited his family, and my family is going to serve as witnesses. We’re having a court wedding. I tried to suggest something else but his response was chilling. Still, that didn’t stop me. First loves suck. I’m not ava. Why did I think him deciding to marry me would... this is so stupid. I don’t have to go through with it. My parents only paid for my fees but that’s all they did for me. I d