Chapter 74

If this is all that was going to happen to me, then I was glad to be rid of it for good this time. I just wanted to sleep and forget everything for a little while, forgetting about everyone and everything and pretending that none of it happened. I didn’t want to have to remember the truth anymore and to be reminded by it every second that I existed. So now I’m not even sure if I’ll have to face reality. That is the only comfort I’m left with right now. The only thing left to cling onto. If I was going to die, this would be a better death than being in this hell. Maybe it should be. It wouldn’t hurt any less. But I’m scared, more scared than I’ve ever been in my life. I did not want to die, that much I am certain of but this was an unwinnable situation that I have managed to find myself in, I have tried everything both humanly and inhumanly possible to deny the inevitable but it all seemed to be in vain.

I walked upsairs heading towards my room as usual.

As usual I thought about wha