Growing up in Wisconsin, cold winters were something I was accustomed to. I was not prepared for the brutally cold winters in northern Minnesota. I am in my second year at The University of Minnesota Duluth. It’s currently -55° with wind chill. It’s so cold, it hurts to breathe. My best friend Audra was braving the cold to visit. It never seemed to matter what direction the two of us took in life, we would always meet up. And when I wasn’t back home for the summer or on holiday break, she would always make time for me. It is kind of crazy to think about how we met so randomly and how our lives have intertwined so much over the last 7 years. After I met her at the university, we grabbed dinner at Mexico Lindo- one of my favorite authentic places. When we got back to my off campus rental, Audra had already been awake for 26 hours. She worked nights and had worked the night before. I brought her to my room and we crawled into my bed to watch a movie. We could hear the freezing wind
I fidget with my pen while I impatiently wait for this meeting to start. The only reason I’m here is for Daniel even though it is killing me to be away from him right now. “All right. I think we can get started.” My father says, seeing that everyone on the board was present. “Matthew, I know you have things you want to attend to so why don’t we have you present first.”I sit up and straighten my papers in front of me. “I’m here today because I personally was not aware of the challenges our employees face when they become parents. I wasn’t aware how little time is allotted for leave after the birth of a child, whether it’s the employee or their spouse who gives birth. I have personally reviewed our current policy and I am disgusted. I am here today to propose that we rewrite our maternity/paternity leave policy. I would like to propose 12 weeks at full pay for non-complicated births and up to 12 months at full pay for parents who’s child is born prematurely and hospitalized for a dur
Being tangled up with Audra has become the highlight of my trip back home. Every encounter with her since we slept together was electrifying. We’ve spent countless hours fulfilling each other’s needs; feeling like we didn’t know we were starving until we got a taste. We collapse into a sweaty heap together for a third time today. Her appetite is insatiable, not that I’m complaining. We lie together for a while as we come down from our high, our bodies intertwined and her head tucked under my chin. I kiss the top of her head and run my fingers gently through her long hair. She sighs with content. I wish this moment could last forever. We decide to venture out for dinner. She says she isn’t picky so I decide on a sushi restaurant, Kyoto Sushi. I remember her mentioning wanting to try it. “I’ve been wanting to come here!” She exclaims as we pull up in front of the restaurant. We make our way inside and are seated in a back corner. The server brings us our drinks and takes our order.
***TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic Abuse and Infant Death***“Please, Tyler. I don’t want to do this right now. I’ve had a long day at work and I just want to go to bed.”“Get your useless fucking ass in the kitchen where you belong! A pizza is not fucking dinner, Audra!” Tyler screams at me, shoving me toward the kitchen. This is his MO. Whenever I don’t cater to him, he berates me. I’m useless. I’m a shitty person who doesn’t deserve love and affection. The constant manipulation. The gaslighting. The physical and emotional abuse. It’s only the tip of the iceberg. “If you don’t want it, then order out something else. I literally just finished a 12 hour shift and I had not one but two patients who died. I cannot do this right now.”He flips our small dining room table, dishes and food scattering everywhere. There’s broken glass skating halfway across the kitchen from the force. “Oh yeah. Make it all about you and your sad, dead babies. They matter more to you than I do. What about me, A
I am so tired but I can’t fall asleep. My mind has a million thoughts racing through it. I really should try to rest. I haven’t slept since the hospital called me. I was at work and happened to be between sets. Friday nights are always crazy busy and I make more tips that night than I do the rest of the week, excluding Saturday. Which means I need to be on the stage or on the floor as much as possible. I wasn’t going to answer but something in my gut told me I needed to. I answered the strange number and my worst nightmare unfolded when I answered. It was Audra. I’m her emergency contact for all medical things. She appointed me as her emergency contact and medical power of attorney after the first time Tyler put her in the hospital. I raced out of the club and drove the 4.5 hours straight from Hurley to Minneapolis. I contemplated a detour to kill the bastard but after a few phone calls, I learned he was in jail over the incident. She was still unconscious when I got here, but s
“I swear to god, D. He was pitching a freaking tent when I did meds last round. It was so awkward.” While we ate lunch, I confessed to Danna what happened this morning between Matthew looking at me like I was a tasty snack and walking in on him snoozing with a raging erection. “Like a single person tent or a circus tent? I need to know… for science or whatever.” “Oh for fucks sake, D…” I roll my eyes “I don’t know. I didn’t look.”“I wanna look. I could look at his perfect ass all day long. I wonder if his ass is as tan as his face.”I open my mouth to speak but words don’t come out. I feel like my brain is short circuiting. “What? I’m never going to know. I’m a married woman. You’re going to have to take one for the team and find out for me.”“DANNA!” I whip my granola bar at her and turn bright red. I was mortified thinking about it. She finally stops laughing and manages to put on her serious mama bear face. “Listen. If the guy is making you uncomfortable, you need to speak w
I lay Daniel on Matthew’s chest and place a blanket over both of them for added warmth. “Hold on” Matthew says, pushing the blanket back for a moment “look at this.”He places his index finger underneath Daniel’s tiny hand. Daniel squirms a bit but then gently squeezes his father’s finger.“That’s amazing! Great job, little buddy!” I proudly exclaim. I cover them and have a sudden thought. “Matthew. Would you like me to take your photo? Of you and Daniel?”He looks up from his son with a bewildered look, as if he hadn’t thought to do that before. “That would be great.” He says, unlocking his phone before handing it to me. I switch to portrait mode and snap a half dozen photos from different angles before handing it back. He scrolls through them and his smile reveals his perfectly straight white teeth. “These are wonderful. I didn’t know my phone camera could do this.”“I’m glad you like them. Can I get you anything else? Something to eat or drink?”“No, thank you.”I smile and
“You need to take a night off. Self care isn’t just a mom thing, you know.” My sister, Ava, lectures me. “You said Daniel is thriving at the hospital lately. You can take a night off to go do something for yourself.”I don’t want to admit it, but she is right. I need to do something other than sit at the hospital, even if it is staying home and getting a good nights sleep for once. “I don’t even know what to go do.” I run my hand through my thick black hair and try to come up with either an excuse or something to do. “Want to go to dinner? I am dying for some Fogo de Chão.”“That actually sounds amazing. I haven’t been there in forever. Let me change and we can go.”Since this self care thing means I’m supposed to be doing something for me, I decide we are going to take my white Shelby GT500. I am in the mood to have fun and make the most of the night. Fast cars were everything before I had Daniel. The feeling of being one with the car as I race down the highway through St. Paul an