“You don’t understand! I can’t do that again. If anything were to happen to you, I wouldn’t make it. I would have nothing left to live for anymore.” He yells at me, anger and pain flashing in his eyes. “But we don’t know that will happen. Do you have any idea how rare that actually is? Because I do. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” I see his arms raise up and it instantly triggers my fight or flight response. I drop on the floor to my knees, shielding my head with my arms and waiting for the first blow. When it doesn’t come, it’s in that moment I realize that it doesn’t matter how far I go or who I’m with. I’ll never be free. __________________________My eyes flutter open and I let out a soft grumble as I roll over and bury myself under the warmth of my white down comforter. My alarm clock hadn’t chimed yet but I knew, based on the soft sunlight filtering in through my drapes, it would be going off soon enough. I let out a yawn as I stretch and sit up on the edge of my bed, w
I have had control over 99% of everything in my life since the day I was born. My family’s wealth always ensured we had everything we ever wanted and always got our way. As I stand here in NICU at the Children’s Hospital of Minnesota watching my son as the intense blue lights deliver his UV therapy, I suddenly know what that 1% feels like… and it’s soul crushing. My boy. Daniel. He laid in front of me, fighting for his life. He was already 8 weeks old yet shouldn’t even have been born yet. My wife, Lydia... We had just left her OB appointment where we learned we were having a boy. She said she felt sick suddenly and had a sharp pain in her stomach. And there was blood. So much blood. Thankfully, the clinic is attached to the hospital. I rushed her through the emergency room doors. She had a placental abruption. The only thing I clearly remember after that was the doctor telling me they saved him but Lydia… she was gone before they even got to the surgical suite. I barely recall t
It’s 5:45am and airport is eerily quiet. I look out the window while I wait for my flight to start boarding. I was so excited to get back home to Minnesota. My best friend in the entire world was taking 2 whole weeks off from her job as a nurse to spend my spring break with me. It had been 7 months since I moved out to Burlington, VT for grad school. In 2 years, I would have my doctorate in organic chemistry. I pulled out my iPhone and considered texting Audra to let her know I’m taking an earlier flight in. But then I remember the time difference. It’s only 4:45 there. She is probably still fast asleep. She works a lot and I don’t want to interrupt the little sleep she does get. “Flight 297 from BVT to MSP is now boarding”I grab my carry on and head to the gate. After boarding and making myself comfortable, a cute red head sits next to me. “Going home or going on a trip?” She asks, trying to make small talk. “Home.” I reply. I’m not much for small talk. Especially when it come
No. No. No. I toss a fourth outfit into my bed after I decide that one is also a no. “We are literally going to a bar to watch a band. You’re not Cinderella going to the ball. Just put on some jeans and a T shirt.”I flop onto my bed and let out a sigh of exasperation. I don’t know why I’m suddenly so worked up about going out for a night of fun. It’s just Simon. We have done this dozens of times. I end up putting on my favorite dark wash skinny jeans and fitted black tee. I decide against heels and go for my white Chucks. Even though it’s nothing fancy, my outfit choice compliments my figure well; hugging all the right places to give the illusion I have more curves than I really do. I’ve always had a thin, willowy figure. I’ll take what I can get. I finish my make up, then let my hair free from the jaw clip and shake out my soft, loose curls. My iPhone lets out a chime. I see it’s a text message from Simon saying he’s on his way.I let out an anxious sigh as I glance in the
The early fall air was unusually heavy for late September and the sun had already set, which brought a slight chill to the damp air. Becca, Molly, and I wandered around behind the bleachers along with most of the other students. The only people who really came to homecoming for the game were either the parents or the players themselves. For everyone else, it was just a place to be other than home, not that there was anything else to do in our small town. As we walked through the crowd of our peers, someone suddenly yells “LOOK OUT!” and the next thing I know, I’m being tackled as a Nerf football goes flying passed my head. My savior and I toppled onto the damp grass, landing with me pinned under him. I’m about to start yelling and throwing punches when I look up and am met with an unfamiliar face that I’m suddenly not mad is only inches from mine. I see thick, dark brown hair and warm hazel eyes. I’m frozen for a moment and we both just stare at each other, panting, for what feels
“I won’t be coming to the office unless absolutely necessary. I need to be with my son.”I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out an exasperated sigh. The board didn’t understand how terrified I was. Terrified that if I chose to appear even for a short meeting that my son would slip away while I was gone. Nothing was more important than he is. “Yes, I’m aware it’s easier for everyone if I’m there, but they also can reach me at the hospital. This isn’t up for further discussion.”I hang up and toss my phone onto my bed. I didn’t even like having to go home at night. Going home meant being away from my fragile son to be in a lonely, empty house instead. I hadn’t spent the night there in a while. Audra was the only nurse who bent the rule for me and she had been gone for the last week. I liked it when she was there. My son did better when she was caring for him and unlike the other nurses, you could see just how passionate she was about her job. She cared for us parents too. Not just
She kissed me. Holy shit she kissed me. And now we are in our way to her apartment. What is happening? Do I pursue this? Do I let her make the next move? I have a million thoughts racing through my mind as we sit in the back of the cab. She’s not kissing me now so does that mean it was an in the moment kind of thing? I mentally interrogate and berate myself until I suddenly feel her lean into me, resting her head on my shoulder. I stare at her for a moment before it dawns on me how much she’s changed the last 10 years. She’s no longer the scrawny little nerd that made up excuses to come watch me practice my guitar after school.God she’s beautiful. She is still slender but she has the curves of a grown woman. Her fair complexion, blue eyes and ashy blonde hair give her a girl next door vibe that was making me crave her even more. While she danced at the bar, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. The way she moved was hypnotizing. When she suddenly kissed me my knees felt weak, spa
“This is unreasonable. Downright ridiculous. Who willingly wants to live here?!” I mutter to myself as I wait for Simon to show up. It is so cold in Duluth, MN, the cold air is actually overtaking the heat in my car. I was visiting Simon for the weekend. He was in his 2nd year at UMD and it was the first time I was coming to visit. Of course, I just had to pick the dead of winter to do it when it was -55° with wind chill. It’s only a few hours drive from my home, but Lake Superior makes it much colder during the winter. “You’re a fucking Genius.” I grumble, texting Simon to see what his ETA is. The plan was for us to leave my car in the student parking at the university where there was security. There had been some break ins in his off campus neighborhood but I seriously doubted even the dumbest thief was willing to go breaking into cars in this ridiculous cold. Just before I hit send, Simon pulls up next to me. I grab my overnight bag and jump into his car. “How was the drive?