41

Camille

I feel like a slut.

I can't shake the feeling no matter what I tell myself or how I paint things in my mind.

Sluts don't normally have the clash of emotions I'm experiencing.

Usually, they don't care. I've encountered enough of them to know. There were tons of sluts in high school and even more in college.

They didn't care as they went from one guy to the other. And they certainly wouldn't have a problem with being with a guy's older brother.

Not like me. The girl who's committed her soul to its own shitty apartment in purgatory.

Here I am again, sitting on the sofa in the sun room, trying to study but failing miserably because I can't get my guilt-riddled mind to think of anything else besides Alessio Scarfoni.

I've been back at college for a few days now. When I get home, I either study in here or by the pool.

Studying has been the only thing to distract me from the guilt I feel over the nightly punishments which send me deeper down the river of shame.

I just can't do it tod