42

Camille

Richard's name continues to flash across my phone screen, like the blaring red and blue lights of a police car.

A gamut of emotions assails me and my heart doubles over in a triple beat.

There's trepidation and fear, happiness and hope, and shame.

Shame for the scandalous way I've been with Alessio.

Shame for the secret parts of me that feel pleasure during those forbidden moments when I come undone in his arms like a slut.

Or a cheater.

I feel like I'm cheating on Richard now even just thinking about Alessio.

I stare at the phone, wanting to answer, but the consequences of doing so stop me. I'm supposed to see Richard sometime in the next two weeks. Talking to him now might jeopardize that.

The phone rings on and on and on, quivering in my hands.

Or is that me?

I don't know. What I do know is, if I know what's good for me, I mustn't answer the phone.

I need to let it ring out and tell Richard I'm sorry when I get to see him.

That's what I need to do but I don't want to becaus