Not this me . . . The other me

At the same time, Det. Brighton was at his apartment sitting down on the couch with a bottle of beer in his hand, his head low and with his leg shaking, with the TV on and tuned in on the news but with his mind still caught up on what happened earlier in the day with Molly. He had promised to take care of her and now she was gone.

Just then a knock came to the door and he sat up, sharply turning his head towards it.

"Molly?" he whispered to himself as his face lit up and then put his beer on the table to go and answer the door.

He swung it open quick eager to see Molly but seeing who was there the light in his face immediately dimmed down, not all the way but a good bit. It wasn't Molly. It was someone else and whoever it was made Det. Brighton's heart skip a little bit.

"Sharon?" he said.

"Hello Eric," she said and they just stood there looking at each other for a moment. She was a forty year old brunette with a boyish cut.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk? Please."

"Sure," Det. Brighton said and stood aside as she then walked in. He closed the door behind her and together they walked further in and sat down on the long couch, with a good enough space in between them.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"How have you been?" Sharon asked.

"I've been o.k. You?"

"I've been o.k. too."

"Good," he said.

"I uh . . . Sorry to just show up here unexpected. It's just that I've been doing some thinking and I thought I'd come and talk to you about some stuff."

"Sure, what's up?"

"Eric . . . I miss you," she said and her words immediately brought a warmth to his heart; they were words he had missed so much hearing them was like a sweet song to his ears. Still he kept it collected.

"You left Sharon."

"I know."

"Right when I asked you to marry me," Det. Brighton said.

"I know."

"So what are you doing here?"

"I'm here because I made a mistake and I want to make things right," Sharon said.

"It's been six months."

"I know."

"So you just can't come back here and pretend like nothing happened," he said.

"I'm not. I'm acknowledging the wrong I did and I'm trying to fix it."

"What, it didn't work out with the other guy and so you've come running back to me?"

"No, that's not it," she said.

"There was another guy wasn't there? After me?" She looked down and hesitated for a moment.

"Yes there was."

"Yeah so it didn't work out with him and now you're back," Det. Brighton said.

"No Eric, that's not it."

"Then what is it?"

"I love you," Sharon said.

"So why did you leave? I declared all of my love for you and I asked you to spend your life with me and you left. Why?"

"Because I was scared."

"Scared of what?" he asked.

"Scared of how serious things had gotten. Come on Eric we had only been dating five months when you asked me to marry you."

"So?"

"So it was too soon," Sharon said.

"Too soon for what? I loved you and you loved me so what was the problem?"

"Things were just moving too fast Eric. We barely knew each other."

"True but that was what the rest of our lives was going to be for," Det. Brighton said.

"I know that now."

"I had fallen madly in love with you Sharon and I wanted nothing more than to be with you. Yes we had only been dating five months but that is more than enough time to know what's real and it was real. I wouldn't have asked you to marry me if it wasn't."

"I know," she said.

"It's not like I just came out and decided I was going to propose to you. It was something I really thought hard about because you were it for me. I had found this amazing woman I wanted to share my life with and I didn't want to waste anymore time. Sadly she didn't feel the same way for me."

"Eric no, that is not fair."

"It's the truth isn't it?" he asked.

"No it's not. That couldn't be farther away from the truth. Love was never the problem. I always loved you and even when I left I never stopped loving you. I didn't leave because I didn't love you, Eric I loved you to death, I left because things were moving too fast and I got scared."

"So why didn't you tell me? You just said no and left me down on one knee. And when I tried to call you you never picked up. You didn't get back to any of my messages and when I came to your place to try and see you and talk to you, you completely ignored me. You shut me out."

"I needed time Eric," Sharon said.

"So why didn't you just tell me that? If you needed time or space I would have given it you. I loved you I would've done anything for you."

"I know."

"So why didn't you just talk to me?" he asked.

"I don't know. I felt suffocated and I just needed to be away from you."

"Well congratulations you got what you wanted."

"It wasn't what I wanted. It was what I thought I wanted," she said.

"And when did you come to that realization? When your new boyfriend ended things?"

"He didn't end things . . . I did."

"Why?" Det. Brighton asked.

"Because of you Eric . . . Because of you." She started to tear up. "Being with him made me realize how much I loved you. Yes he was kind and smart and he was good to me but he wasn't you. There was love there but not like there was here. What we had was everything, and I messed it up. And I'm so so sorry."

"What exactly are you sorry for?"

"For leaving. I never should have left. And for shutting you out. You didn't deserve that, I was so scared I just wanted to get away. I only cared about how I felt I completely sidelined your feelings and I am so so sorry. I love you Eric. I love you so much and I didn't mean to hurt you. If I could turn back time and not walk away I would. I would go back and I would say yes because you're it for me too. You're the one I want to be with and if I had to spend the rest fo my life trying to make up for what I did I will. Because that's how much you mean to me. I love you and I miss you so so much," Sharon said and wiped her tears away. "And I just want you back. Please. I just want to be with you."

Det. Brighton just sat there staring at her; his eyes reaching out just as much as hers were. There was love between them, much time had passed but the love was very much still there but that did not make what he had to do any easier. He needed to decide there and then if he wanted to give what they had another try or this time be the one to leave. He loved her but she hurt him. He asked her to marry him and she just said no and left, and like that was not bad enough on its own, she shut him out, making him feel like he had done something wrong when he hadn't. She said she loved him more than anything else in the world but when it came the time to prove it she choked, how could he trust her again after doing something like that?

It had been six months and he was still getting over what happened, that was how much he was hurt by it. She managed to even date afterwards but he couldn't. All he thought about was her and what he did wrong and so he couldn't even dare open himself up to another woman lest he do the same thing to her, whatevere it was, and she leave too, and so the only thing he could do was close himself up which was what he did. In the whole six months that him and Sharon had been broken up for he didn't go on a single date; women would hit on him and ask him out but he would just turn them down because he wasn't ready. Because he was still hooked on Sharon and had been missing her like crazy and now she was back.

Det. Brighton was torn between his heart and his mind. His heart was saying one thing and his mind was saying another but which one was he going to listen to. Of course he loved Sharon but love wasn't the only thing a relationship needed, it needed other things and he wasn't so sure if he could get those things from her.

The following day came and Molly woke up screaming. She was sleeping in a bed and just then someone next to her popped up and seeing them she freaked out and screamed even more; falling out of the bed even.

"Whoa babe, are you o.k.?" a boy asked. It was a boy and he was sleeping shirtless in the bed with her. Molly got up and just stood there looking around; hyperventilating at the sight of opening her eyes and being in yet another random place, with her heart beating so loud she could hear it. Who was she now and where was she?

She was in a brand new place. A room. With a few posters of musicians and actors on the wall along with a heart shaped collage of photos of her and her friends and a desk by the window where there was a laptop and a stack of exercise and text books.

"Babe what's going on are you o.k.?" the boy asked and Molly just stood there looking on. She looked down at her hands and then at her body and seeing that she was wearing just a crop top and her panties, she gave out a soft scream and covered herself with the nearest thing she could find, a jumper that was hanging on the chair by the desk. "Dude what is up with you?"

"What's happening here?" Molly asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Where is this? Where are we?"

"Are you kidding me," the boy said.

"Who are you? Who am I?"

"Seriously?"

Molly heard people outside and walked to the window to check. There were people of all shapes, sizes and colours in the front yard; walking about, standing and talking and even sitting down on the grass studying.

"Are we on campus?" Molly asked.

"Duh," he went.

"Which campus?" she turned to him and asked.

"Molly seriously?"

"Molly who? Who am I?"

"Oh my gosh no way uh uh it is way too early to be dealing with this ish I'm going back to bed," the boy said turning away from her and covered himself with the blanket as Molly just stood there looking at him.

There was a mirror on the wall near where the desk was and seeing it Molly flew to it. She stood in front of it and gasped; yet again there was a stranger staring back at her. She had thick maroon hair that was tied up in a high bun and ocean blue eyes; ocean blue eyes that were empty and had no story in them, like staring at a blanket canvas, there was nothing there. Molly was looking straight at herself but yet again it wasn't her that was there, it was someone else.

"Oh my gosh," she said to herself tearing up and went to look at the photos of her and her friends. There were so many memories in front of her and not a single one came to mind. There were photos of her them at parties, on road trips and celebrating each other's birthdays, and she was a cheer leader, and so there were photos of her and her squad at practice and at football games up there too. "Oh my gosh," she then said looking closely at the cheer leading attire and something inside her clicked. "Ullman University."

"Yes that is where we go, congratulations you figured it out," he said sleeping on.

"Oh my gosh I . . . I came here. Ullman University, this is where I got my law degree from. I was here."

"What?" He looked back at her. "What are you talking about?"

"My law degree this is where I got it."

"Law? Are you high? You're not doing law you're doing marine biology," he said. "What were you drinking last night?"

"In 2005. I came here in 2005 and I studied law."

"2005?"

"Yes," Molly responded, as streams of tears ran down her face; remembering her way back when days when she stood on that very ground as Molly Gray.

"Babe did that fall knock your brain loose? There is no way you could have gotten any degree in 2005 you were eight years old."

"Not this me . . . The other me."

"The other you, what the heck are you talking about?" he asked.

"I have to go."

"Go where?" Molly grabbed her skinny jeans off the floor and started putting them on. "Babe go where?"

She carried on; putting her bra on with her crop top still on and sliding her canvas onto her feet. All dressed up she then went to grab the car keys that were on the desk and whilst there she saw one of her exercise books.

"Molly Filbert," she read. That was the name of the owner of the body she had woken up in; a name that meant something but at the same time meant nothing, bringing about that feeling that made her feel like she was loosing her mind. She started to breathe heavily as more tears came to her eyes. "What is happening to me?" she then turned to Molly Filbert's boyfriend and asked.

"What does what keep happening to you?" he asked and Molly ran out of the room. "Molly hey! Molly!"

Molly ran down the hallway, down the stairs and out through the main door of the dorm building and then sprinted to the car park, almost knocking over a few people on her way there.

She reached the middle of it and pressed the button on the car keys and a car somewhere up ahead responded. Molly ran to it and found herself stopping at a Range Rover; white and shiny, looking like it was only days old. She pressed the button again to make sure it really was the one and it was; it responded again, beeping twice with the back and front lights flashing. Molly then jumped in behind the wheel, started the car and drove off, eager to reach her destination so that she could once again feel safe.