Chapter One

         Asia Winnessa Acosta, or most commonly known as Awa, is close to losing her nubility feeling left out.

         Lahat ng mga taong nakapalibot sa kanya ay ipina-paalala lang na isa siyang dakilang single. Even her cousin, who’s a few years younger than her, has had more… experience on this field beyond what her mind could imagine. Samantalang siya? Bokya pa rin hanggang ngayon.

          Her last attempt at flirting had been a total fiasco, she flirted with a freaking poser. Awa’s first shot at online dating and she failed miserably. Dati pa siyang may apprehension pagdating sa online dating na iyan, mas tumindi lang tuloy ang pagkamuhi niya ―for lack of better term― sa ideya ng online dating. Ngayon, sinusumpa na niya ito. And she swore never to date anyone she meets online. That poser fiasco made her ask herself: gaano ba siya kamalas pagdating sa dating at love, na ultimo sa online na nga ay wala pa rin siyang napapala?

          She actually has been in a relationship thrice, but her status clearly indicates that all her past three relationships didn’t work out for them― for her ― so well.

          “Ikaw naman kasi, ‘te, bukod sa choosy ka na, pagkataas-taas pa ng standards mo sa mga gustong manligaw sa’yo.” Mia, her secretary, told her while they were on a quick afternoon break. “Babaan mo naman kahit mga twenty percent, malay mo naman may pumasa na.”

           It was true. Ever since she discovered the world of fiction―and that was when she was fourteen― nag-ala Burj Khalifa ang taas ng standards niya pagdating sa mga lalaki. She knew it was close to impossible, pero malay niya naman may isa palang lalaki ang maka-abot sa standards niya.

           “Isa pa, friend,” Myra, one of her managers, added, “try to balance out work and flirting. Lahat ng set-ups namin sa’yo, walang narating. Either you were bored with your date’s company or you’re checking your phone, in the middle of a date, expecting calls from different sponsors.”

           Kasalanan ba naman niyang may trabaho siya?

           “Or is it still because of Troy?” Mia asked, brows creased.

           “Of course not.”

           Their raised brows were disconcerting, parang pinagdududahan ang sagot niya. She felt the need to defend herself from their scrutinizing stares.

          “Hindi talaga, I swear.” itinaas niya ang kamay na parang nanunumpa to prove her point. “It has been, what, four years. May girlfriend na nga’t lahat, hindi pa rin kayo tapos sa kanya.”

          “We’re just worried, Awa.” Mia answered. “Sabi mo nga, may girlfriend na ‘yung ex mo tapos ikaw…”

          “Wala naman may sabing kailangan namin pareho na may jowa para lang masabi na nakapag move on na kami pareho, M.”

          “Ang sinasabi ni Mia, hindi pare-pareho mag-isip ang mga tao. Mayroon at mayroon mag-iisip na kaya single ka pa rin hanggang ngayon ay dahil hindi ka pa nakakapag move on dun sa gagong ‘yun.”

           She sighed. They have a point.

           Even some of her cousins are teasing her about it. Na kaya hindi nagwu-work out ang mga dates at sini-set-up nila sa kanya dahil si Troy pa rin daw ang gusto niya. Sa loob kasi ng apat na taong relasyon, nakilala na ng buong angkan niya ang binata. They all thought that what was next for their relationship was marriage, no one expected it to be a break-up. What she was thankful for was they didn’t end it in a bad note. Okay na siya ‘dun.

            Itong mga taong alam ang relasyon nilang dalawa lang naman ang nag-i-insist na may feelings pa siya rito. But she’s moved on, civil naman sila ng binata, maliban lang sa babaeng ipinalit nito sa kanya.

           “Kung ako sa’yo, try mo mag-Tinder.” Myra suggested, a mischievous glint in her eyes that she learned not to trust. “If you don’t like commitment and just wanted to have a night’s worth of fun, then that’s the perfect place to go, Awa, trust me.”

           “Diskumpyado ako sa trust me mo, Myra.”

            She knew exactly what Myra was suggesting, but the idea of one night stand just doesn’t sit well with her. Besides, may panata rin siyang isusuko lang ang Bataan sa magiging asawa niya sa kasal nila, until then she’d have to be a virgin.

            But what if tumanda kang single? Forever virgin ang drama? Papalitan mo si Virgin Mary, ganun? Her mind countered.

            She hates her mind sometimes. Thoughts like that tends to make her come up with a decision to just heed Myra’s advice of one-night stand. Ayaw naman niyang tumanda at mamatay na hindi man lang natitikman ang sarap ng langit sa lupa.

            Sabi pa naman ng mga nakatatandang pinsan pati mga Tito’t Tita niya na it’s in their family to have strong and high libidos. Her cousins, even her siblings, have proved that to be factual. Minsan tuloy iniisip niya kung ampon lang siya dahil hindi naman niya ramdam ang sinasabi nilang “extreme sex drive.”

            But her Aunties assured her that she isn’t adopted ―with her face being the exact replica of both her parents’ faces combined― there’s no doubt about that. Sadyang hindi palang siya nagkakaron ng experience sa bagay na iyon, hindi lang nila masabi na dahil single siya. It always comes down to that: wala siyang jowa.

            “Think about it, Awa.” Myra said. “Apat na taon ka nang walang dilig, girl, baka ‘di ka na mamunga, ikaw din.” she winked before leaving them at the pantry.

            Muntik na siyang matawa. Ni hindi niya pa nga na-experience madiligan kahit minsan, and Myra doesn’t seem to know about this one tiny detail.

But the last part suddenly troubled her, she’s already twenty-seven, ideal time and age to get married and build a family. And yet, she doesn’t even have anyone to marry, much less anyone to build a family with. Sabi pa naman ng mga matatanda na nagninipis ang matres ng babae, kapag ganun daw it makes it hard for a woman to conceive a baby, or worse, unable to conceive at all.

            She came from a huge family, there are already nine of them in her family alone, and she wanted to have a huge family of her own someday. Just the thought that she might not be able to conceive a baby already sends her into despondency. She knew it in her heart that she wants to become a mother, too.

            “You can’t seriously be thinking about what Rara said.”

            She paused to stare at Mia. “Parang nga, e.”

            Hinampas siya nito ng hawak na folder. “Gaga, akala ko ba ayaw mo sa online dating?”

            “Oo nga.” she nodded. “But what Myra is suggesting doesn’t exactly involve dating, just a casual fuck-and-go.”

            “Seriously, Awa?” there’s a look of disapproval in Mia’s eyes, she wanted to flinch.

            “Joke lang.” bawi niya kaagad. “Ito naman.”

            “Ang akin lang naman Awa, ‘wag ka magpadala sa pressure ng mga taong nasa paligid mo.” Mia exhaled through her nose. “Virgin or not, all you gonna be and all you gonna do is be Asia Winnessa, nothing else.”

            She bit the inside of her cheek and nodded meekly. Para siyang pinapangaralan ng nakatatandang kapatid, namiss niya tuloy bigla ang mga Ate’t Kuya niya.

            “Sige na, balik na sa trabaho.” utos ng kaibigan, slightly pushing her to her office. “Break’s over.”

            Natawa siya.

            “Sino ba talaga sa’ting dalawa ang boss dito?”

            “Ikaw syempre.”

            “Talaga?” she rolled her eyes. “’Di ko kasi feel, e.”

            When the door closed behind her, she’s back to being her usual bossy self: standoffish, snobbish, haughty. Asia has mastered the art of being an… arduous boss, one would say she is, over the course of time. In her sphere of work, it’s a challenge for women to thrive over an industry dominated by a lot of competitive and entitled gentlemen. One, too, should be able to withstand the pressure, criticisms and expectations of other people, of other competitions, otherwise it’ll just drown you.

            Men would usually try to intimidate and underestimate any women in position of power, may it be from both political and corporate society, or any other career paths. Hindi nila gusto’ng na-u-ungusan sila sa mga bagay na, sa tingin nila, ay para lamang sa mga lalaki.

            But women of this generation don’t want to be constrained or caged, nor do they want to be kept at home, look after the kids and do household chores. The women of today want to be boundless, to have equal right and power, to be efficient, to serve, to matter and be substantial, to make and establish their own name and identity. At walang mapapala ang mga kababaihan kung nasa bahay lang sila at tumu-tunganga.

            Asia Winnessa is one of those women: self-sufficient, capable, unbound.

            Her parents see to it that they would learn to become independent, all the while growing up with golden spoons in their mouths. Dahilan pa ng mga ito, gusto nilang matuto silang magkakapatid paano i-balanse, i-handle, at pahalagahan ang buhay at mga bagay na meron at tinatamasa nila. Their parents spoil them, while teaching them not to rely on the family’s wealth too much.

            So she learned to save up money from her allowances, she tried working part-time and summer jobs as well. After she graduated college, she left for the States to take up Master’s degree while balancing out her work schedule. She’s met and encountered all sorts of people she could possibly meet in her life, some she’s personally dealt with, whenever circumstances demanded it.

            All her years away from her family, with just herself for company, her wits and ingenuity, she’s learned to become more of her own person.

            As soon as she got back, she put up a small entertainment company, aiming to help out anyone who’d wish and dream to be in front of the camera. Awa started out as a small company, with only a few talents: Troy, her ex-boyfriend, MT, ka-barkada niya, at si White, na pinsan niya― to name a few.

            She remembered being asked by her family why she wanted to venture to the entertainment industry, wala naman daw kasi ito sa linya ng negosyo ng pamilya nila. Pero sa industriyang ‘yun siya nabuhay sa States, it funded the majority of her education and her per diem expenses. Pinasok niya ang mundo ng modelling, mas malaki ang kita kesa sa pagwi-waitress niya sa restaurant. If she wanted to survive until she finished her Master’s, kailangan niya ng mas malaki-laking kita.

            A friend from campus recommended her to a certain Paul Montana, a distinguished New York-based photographer. Alanganin man, pero nang marinig niya kung magkano ang offer na bayad nito sa kanya ay mabilis siyang napa-oo rito.

            To honor the industry that helped and supported her, itinayo niya ang kompanya niya.

            Madali nga lang naman kasi’ng kumita sa industriyang ito. Haharap ka lang sa kamera: magpu-pose, aarte o kakanta, may pera ka na. But of course, she makes sure that her “kids” are performing well and are doing their best to deliver what they are paid to do: by doing several different workshops and trainings. Awa wants only the best, both for her company and her talents.

            She couldn’t afford to slack her ass off, not when one of her boy groups is planning to make a comeback on their debut anniversary. That only meant loads of work: brainstorming of ideas, preparations, expenses and budget, practices and recordings, production, marketing and promotions.

            The thought of it alone drains her.

            Minsan naiisip niya nalang na bumaba na sa pwesto niya, she could live off until she’s one hundred with the money she’s saved and earned over the years. Pero may malaking parte sa kanya ang nagpu-protesta sa ideya pa lamang na aalis siya.

            The creaking of the door brought her back from her deep reverie. She blinked before casting her eyes to whoever it was that dared to disrupt her time of work, although she wasn’t really working at the time.

            Awa managed a slight scowl.

            “Magpanggap ka namang masaya ka’ng makita ako rito, ‘insan.” Raf, one of her favorite cousins, pleaded, feigning dejection.

            “Guguluhin mo lang ako rito, e.”

            He shot her an offended gaze. “Ouch.” humawak pa ito kunyari sa may dibdib nito na parang totoo’ng nagdadamdam. “Parang sinasabi mo na rin na distraction ako.”

            “Hindi ba?” she groaned. “Stop the drama, Raf, ano’ng pinunta mo rito?”

            Raf made a face before giving himself the permission to take a seat at one of her office couches. May binunot ito mula sa bulsa ng coat niya. “Here,” inilapag nito ang isang elegante’ng cream envelope. “Ate Pat told me to personally give you that.”

            A feeling of dread fell upon her when she started suspecting what the envelope was about.

            Baka invitation sa birthday lang ‘yan, Asia, kalma.

            But who was she kidding? Tapos na ang birthday ng pinsan. She knew exactly what’s inside that cursed envelope.

            With her knees a bit trembling, she took four quick strides to the coffee table and picked up the unwanted package.

            She forced out a heavy sigh when her eyes read the words elegantly printed on the special paper: Join us, as we celebrate Marco & Pat’s Engagement!

            “Alam niya kasing may possibility na hindi ka pumunta.”

            She rolled her eyes.

            “She knows you’d just ignore this if we send it to you by mail.” Raf added, casually leaning on the couch. “Kahit sa unit mo namin ipadala, hindi mo rin lang papansinin.”

            “I’m allergic to these kind of stuffs, they should know about this, too.”

            “Aware naman kami sa bagay na ‘yan, Awa.”

            “Then why send me an invitation then?” tumaas ang isang kilay niya. “For formality lang, ganun?”

            Napa-iling si Raf sa kaartehan niya siguro. “Because you’re family, Awa. End of story.”

            She has nothing against her cousins, kahit sa Ate Patricia niya, but she just didn’t like going to engagements anymore. Lagi lang kasing pinupuna ng ibang kapamilya niya ang pagiging single niya. Hindi niya ba alam ba’t big deal ‘yun sa kanila, e hindi naman sila ang single kung tutuusin.

            Sigh.

            “Besides,” Raf looked up at her with a smirk, “I don’t have a date. And I require a date, Awa.”

            “Edi maghanap ka ng babae’ng pwede mo’ng maging date for a night. Duh!”

            “Can’t,”

            She regarded him with shock. Rafeal isn’t the guy to say something like couldn’t and no when it comes to ladies. He’d take every chance he could get to bed a woman. Isa siya sa mga kilalang manwhore ng pamilya. That’s so uncharacteristic of him.

            “Anong tingin naman ‘yan?”

            “Tinging judgmental.” asik niya rito. Naupo siya sa kaharap na couch at pinanliitan ito ng mga mata. “May hindi ka sinasabi sa’kin, ano?”

            He groaned.

            “Spill.” she demanded, palms down the coffee table, eyes intent on him. “Or I’d kick your ass right down the window for a quicker exit.”

            “Brutal mo naman.” pinandilatan niya ang pinsan, tumikhim ito bago umayos nang upo. “My Dad threatened to marry me off to some random woman from the corporate.”

            “And that’s bad because…?”

            “Because that would mean no nights out, no parties, no alcohol, and definitely no girls to fuck.”

            “You bastard!” inabot niya ito sa buhok at sinabunutan.

            “Hey!” saway nito, pilit tinatanggal ang kamay niyang nakasabunot sa buhok nito. “Masakit ‘yan, Awa, ha?”

            “Dapat lang ‘yan sa’yo!” singhal niya sa pinsan. “Hindi ka ba natatakot makakuha ng sakit sa ginagawa mo?”

            “This is why…” binunot nito ang wallet at may inilabas, he grinned at her and held up the… “Condom was invented, Awa, para namang hindi mo pa alam ‘to.” Bigla itong napatakip sa bibig niya. “Ay, sorry! Nakalimutan ko’ng virgin ka pa pala, ‘insan.”

            Kating-kati siyang batukan ang pinsan, pagkatapos ay ibato palabas ng bintana para manahimik naman kahit papaano ang buhay niya.

            “But seriously, ikaw ang date ko sa party, Awa.”

            “Fine!”

            Raf beamed at her bago ito tuluyang tumayo at patakan siya ng isang magaang halik sa noo. “I’m going. Don’t bail out on me.”

            “I won’t.” she promised.

            She watched him walked out of her office before directing her eyes back to the half-crumpled envelope sitting on top of her coffee table. She exhaled through her mouth.

            “This would be real fun.”