RowanTears stream down my face as I watch them leave.There's no one here to hug me, no one to assure me it's going to all work out the way it's supposed to. I could have asked Sullivan to come, but then I'd have to explain to him about Cutter, and for now I want to keep all our memories to myself. I'm not a big fan of leaving things up to chance, but this is one of those times I'll have to have some trust. I don't have a crystal ball and I don't know what the future will bring. Not even sure I wanna know what the future has in store for me. It's burnt me more than once. In bigger ways than I ever thought it could.My eyes follow the taillights of the vehicles until they're gone. They're a blip on the horizon and I know I need to leave. It'll do me no good to stand here and wish things were different.Feeling completely hollow, I walk over to my car and get in, starting the engine. It's still warm here in the south, so I crank up my air conditioner, turn on the radio and ta
CutterOne Week Later"Your mom misses you."A heavy sigh releases from my chest. "You sure it's my mom?"Turning around, I see Dad standing behind me. I'm using the LSPD's workout room to train today, but I honestly didn't expect to run into him."We all miss you," Holden Thompson says as he stands in front of me. My dad has always been one of my favorite people, but since I've come back from Paradise Lost, things just haven't felt right. I've been doing my best, but my heart isn't in what's going on here. "I know." I grab hold of my t-shirt, pulling it over my head. Pulling it down, I stride to the treadmill and get on. Dad does the same thing."What are you doing?"He gives me a look. "Spending some time with my son. Ransom told me you aren't talking to him either, and I have a feeling you need to talk to someone."I hate when he's right, really bugs the shit out of me. Even though he's my favorite person, he can still get on my nerves. "What makes you think I
RowanI've never been so excited to take a road trip. In fact, I can't remember the last one I took. Maybe when I was sixteen and some friends and I went to a concert in Birmingham. After I got pregnant with Etta things changed, and then after she died, I changed.As I hit I-65 North, my heart feels less heavy, and the more I leave Paradise Lost in the background, a smile spreads across my face easier than it has in years. Reaching over, I turn up the radio, open my sunroof, and put the car on cruise control. The GPS says I have an hour and a half to go with most of my travel being on this section of interstate.Glancing at my rearview, I get a picture of myself in the reflection I wasn't expecting. One I haven't seen in years. My hair is down, blowing in the breeze, my eyes are full of life and my skin is pink with excitement. I almost don't recognize myself, but at the same time I do know her. She's the me I've always wanted to be.When I stop at a rest area, I dial Cutter
CutterSo far everyone's been on their best behavior, but when I see Whitney and Ryan making their way through the back door, I immediately grasp Rowan's hand."Awww shit.""What?" she asks as she looks to where my gaze is pinned."Look, whatever Whitney says about you wearing an Auburn shirt, just let it go in one ear and out the other."This time Rowan gives me a serious look. "How do you expect me to do that? We're rivals.""Because you're here with me and I want us to have a nice night?"My voice is hopeful, even I can hear it."College football is serious, Cutter. You should know that."Oh how I do, and how I know Whitney will never let this go."Cutter, is this the lady I've heard so much about?"She's already spotted us and is coming over with Keegan in her arms. He's a spoiled boy by both sets of grandparents and he revels in the attention. "It sure is. Whitney, this is Rowan, Rowan, this is Whitney."Their eyes zero in on what each other is wearing.
Rowan"I'm so sorry you had to be thrown before the firing squad."I'm not exactly sure what he's talking about. "The firing squad?""Yeah, my nosey as fuck family.""They're nice." And they really are. No one has made me feel more welcome. "Your mom said there's family breakfast at The Café tomorrow?""We don't have to go if you don't want to. I promise no one will say anything.""It's okay, we can go. I liked them a lot. I like how they love you." I kneel on the bed, walking on my knees over to him. "They're suffocating."I push my arms around his neck, holding him tightly. "You're their favorite person, I think. You're at least Keegan's favorite person and Ransom loves you like crazy."His eyes soften. "I love them a lot too. Ya know my dad and I had a conversation about love the other day.""Oh really?"My pulse gets faster, I'm not sure what he's going to say to me. "Yeah, I told him you scare the fuck out of me.""I scare you?""So much."I scrutin
Cutter"You do?" I can't believe what I'm hearing. It was the absolute last thing I expected. "Yeah." She grins. "I haven't let myself feel this way in a long time, but with you, it's natural."That's exactly how it feels for me too. Completely natural.I go to wrap my arms around her, but she shrinks back. "If you've been honest with me, I need to be honest with you.""You don't have to tell me anything," I assure her. "Me confiding in you was something I needed to do."She reaches over, grabbing my beer, taking a drink of it. "I need to confide in you, too.""Then please, I'm here to listen to you. I'm here to help you through anything. I won't judge."Relief flashes in her hazel eyes. "Thank you.""No need to thank me."She sits back against the outdoor fabric, looking like the life has completely deflated from her body. "This is so hard." Her voice shakes. "I've never told anyone about this. Since I've always lived in Paradise Lost, everyone knows. The only
Rowan"This is so cute!"I love the downtown look of Laurel Springs. We're in Cutter's truck driving to The Café, where we're having breakfast with his family. I'm doing my best to not be sad because I have to leave tonight, but I'm thankful for the time we've gotten to spend together."Yeah, it is. You know, it's funny. I've spent most of my life wondering why I can't get out of this town, but now that I've been to Paradise Lost and Tuscaloosa, I realize how much I love it here. We have a hometown vibe not many get to have."I could see myself living here. I don't say the words out loud, but I could. The feel of the place is so happy. There aren't bad memories everywhere I turn. There's just a chance to make new ones. He turns on his blinker, groaning. "Looks like everybody and their mama's here today.""What do you mean?" But then I see it, a huge row of cars, trucks, and a couple of Jeeps."Mom must have invited the entire LSERT to eat this morning. Don't touch that d
Cutter"Is this the for-sure schedule?" I ask my supervisor as I take a look at what our next two weeks look like on the rotation."Yeah, I gave you four days off in a row after being down at Paradise Lost. I figured you could use it.""Thanks." I grin at him, already pulling my phone out of my pocket.Four days off in a row? That means I can head down there if I want to and spend some more time with Rowan. She may not be off, but at least I can be there when she is, and we can continue to get to know one another better. C: Guess what? I got the lucky shift and I'm off four days in a row after today. I can leave around eight tonight, if you're willing to put me up?It doesn't even take two minutes for her to answer.R: OMG! YES! Come down here. I get off work at six, so that's perfect. I can't wait to see you, even though it's only been two days.C: Same, I was missing you in my bed more than I wanted to admit.R: We're about to go on a run, but I'll see you when you