ASDFGHJKL
Kristoff didn’t talk to me for about five minutes. He just stared at me. I am still into tears and I think the people around are looking our way now. They are probably thinking that we are quarreling right now. But no, I am quarreling with myself.
I don’t know why I hate it that I can’t do anything about the fashion show right now. I wish I could do something.
I wish everything would fall back into place like what Kristoff said. I wish all the problems can just resolve on their own.
Kristoff sighed. “Will you stop crying, Ashanti?” he asked as he passed me a tissue.
I looked at him with my tearful eyes. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” I took the tissue he gave me and wiped my tears.
He smiled at me. “Come on! We should be happy tonight right? Don’t cry like a baby.” He smiled wider.
And trust me how I had to control my feelings at that instant. I thought I was going to melt. Oh well, maybe I did.
I forced a smile even if I don’t want to. I don’t know. Usually, Kristoff would always crack a joke and no matter how corny that joke must be, I will still laugh heartily. But now, everything seems to be so wrong and negative.
Tonight, everything in my life seemed to so dark and dull and monotonous.
Kristoff and his ideal type, this restaurant goddess.
My most awaited fashion show and Jewel’s Shoppe’s launch in Chicago.
Why must everything attack me all at the same time?
Not to leave this heart out, too. Damn my life. Seriously.
Kristoff sighed. “Okay. Would you want to go home early?” he asked me.
I looked at him and nodded weakly. “I’m sorry.” I feel so bad about myself.
Kristoff smiled at me. “It’s fine with me.” He assured.
Guilt caught up with me. It’s not fair that I have to drag him to my misery.
“You can stay. Or not go home yet. I’ll just take the cab.” I was guiltier than what I thought I’d be. He prepared a lot of things for me this evening. He even gave me a greeting card.
And here I am being the killer of happiness tonight.
I glanced at the Restaurant Goddess. She is looking at Kristoff’s way. I felt insecure all of a sudden. I looked at my husband and caught him having an eye to eye contact with her. It made my heart heavier. I think it weighed more than my chest could handle.
Kristoff suddenly looked at me. “Let’s go?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. I’ll go. You can stay and socialize with other people here.” I was pertaining to this Restaurant Goddess.
Kristoff gave me a look. “This is a buffet, Shan. Not a club.” He corrected me. “This is not a good place for socializing,” he added.
I smiled. “Then you can enjoy the night,” I said. “You don’t have to go home this early.” I looked at my watch. “It’s just past ten. You have a long night,” I said.
Kristoff narrowed his eyes on me. “Why are you pushing me away?” he asked me. “I want to be with my wife tonight. Can’t I do that?” he asked me.
I looked at him, really touched at his gestures and thoughtfulness. But I’d rather call it courteousness. It’s safer since he has a goddess for an ideal type.
Kristoff took my hand, which is a first time after a long time, and led me out to his car. He opened the passenger seat’s door for me. “Thanks,” I replied before he walked to the driver’s seat and gave tip to the valet.
Kristoff drove calmly as he always does.
I stared at his perfect face. Times like this, I want to tell him how much I cherish this marriage. How thankful I am that he agreed to this. But I am scared.
If I told him that, what will I get in response? Will he respond to me positively? Will he not? Will he just answer me with a smile?
Will he even answer me?
I sighed—too loud for him to be distracted.
He looked at me. “Are you still sad about it?” he asked me.
I nodded. Right now, the fact that Kristoff likes someone else makes me even sadder.
He held my hand on my lap and gave it an assuring squeeze. “It’s going to be alright. Trust me.” He assured me.
My chest constricted. “How can that be alright? It’s my fashion show that is at stake,” I replied with pure negativism.
Everything will be alright? I hope you would fall in love with me. That’s all I ever wanted.
He smiled. “The Ashanti I know would know what to do,” he said. “Where is she today, by the way?” he asked.
I looked at him.
“The Ashanti I know would be very positive about things and would quickly find a solution on every problem,” he added. “I wonder if she’s on a vacation leave right now,” he said making me smile. He always says the right things.
But that is only applicable in the fashion show problem. I can’t probably find a solution on him loving me back. Not now that he just saw a special person—his ideal type.
And not to mention they have even had an eye to eye contact a while ago. I wonder what that means though. I feel so bad for myself. I am jealous at her because I know that she can have Kristoff any time while I’ve worked all my life for him but he’s still so far from me.
I breathed hard. “Thanks,” I replied. “Thanks for encouraging me, Kristoff,” I said.
He chuckled. “Of course. I can’t stand to see my wife looking so depressed you know,” he replied.
Can someone please give me a gun and I’ll pull the trigger with it pointing to Kristoff right now? How can he seriously have to be so like this to me? He could just reject me! He could just say that I am ugly when I am depressed!
But what he said just now…Kristoff Marx, what would I do with you? You are making me fall deeper by the minute.
And even, even, even, even, deeper when he utters words that make me feel so alright and relieved. Now, I don’t know what to do.
We arrived home with me being so pale and nervous inside that car. For the first time, I wished there is a car that has a kilometer distance between the driver and the passenger’s seat. I don’t care how freaking huge highways would be. Just make that possible, please.
I sighed and went immediately to the kitchen to drink water.
How did I even feel this dehydrated? The last time I checked, we ate at a buffet with freaking unlimited drinks.
There is no way that a fifteen-minute ride home would dehydrate me. But why is this?!
“Woah! I didn’t know you are that thirsty.” Kristoff came and followed me all through the kitchen.
I gulped and just nodded. I am feeling so sweaty. I am feeling so warm and hot at the same time. I know that I am flustered right now.
Kristoff eyed me. “Are you sick? You are really red,” he told me.
I gulped as my eyes glanced on his jawline—his oh-so chiseled and firm jawline. “No. It’s really hot though,” I started to fan myself for my convincing act.
He looked at me. “Go shower up.” He ordered. “You look like you need to drown in ice though,” he added.
I smiled and nodded. “Well yeah. I gotta keep moving,” I said as I hurried upstairs.
I heard him chuckle. “Cute. That’s why I asdfghjkl.” I didn’t catch his last words though.
SICKI woke up the next morning feeling heavy and sick. Maybe I am really sick because I couldn’t stand up when I tried to. I can’t even move my body.Kristoff walked to my room. We don’t share one room. But our rooms are next to each other.He called me and said some things I couldn’t decipher anymore. He keeps talking but I don’t think I know what he was talking about.Is he speaking in Chinese? I don’t know.My head hurts like hell and I can’t move and it’s cold and maybe I need his hug and…. Wait. What did I just think of?I need his hug?Oh no. Please, Ashanti. Get a hold of yourself.I closed my eyes and went to sleep again.Sorry, Kristoff. I can’t understand you right now. Everything is blurring and fading away.***I woke up with a heavy feeling on my hand. I looked at the window
THIS LADYLora, our helper, peered on the door while Kristoff and I are laughing together over that funny stuff he was talking about.“Kristoff, there is a visitor downstairs,” she told him. She then turned to me with the eyes of a concerned mother. I smiled at her, assuring her that I am fine now.Kristoff suddenly stayed still, frozen and I don’t know how to describe his facial expression. Was he nervous upon hearing that?I looked at him as he sighed to collect his cool. I know there is something wrong.“What’s wrong?” I finally found my guts to ask.He shook his head as he stood up and walked down stairs. I watched him as he hesitantly moved to the door. He is not like this.There is something wrong. I don’t really like it when he is acting this way. It’s like he doesn’t want to share his problems. Doesn’t he know that it’s making me craz
INFINITEXI widened my eyes. “No way!” I replied, disagreeing. There is no way I am going to ask those boys to run for my fashion show. Not with that Hunter Looney. He had pestered me during my high school and college days. And that is enough for me.“But, Shan, that is all the options we’ve got,” Min told me.“How did that happen?” I asked. “Aren’t they joining the fashion show as well?” I asked again.Min and the rest shook their heads. “They are under another brand, so, no.” Min replied.I sighed. “I’m going to solve this,” I said as I went to my table and sat.Min walked to me. “Ashanti, we will still talk to InfiniteX if ever you will change your mind. Or if ever you won’t be able to look for a solution.” She told me.I sighed and nodded.She looked at me. “Don’t worry. W
THAT JERK“Good morning, Ashanti.” I snapped back as soon as I heard that familiar irritating voice. I swear to God I haven’t hated a person in my whole life as much as I hate this guy.I am not really a bad person but Hunter Looney is really the kind of person who would test my patience. He looked at me with a grin on his face as his members walked behind him.I rolled my eyes. What a jerk.“Aren’t you going to greet me good morning, too?” he asked me as he welcomed himself in the office.Min, who was standing by the door, was shocked to see situation. I guess I have to explain later.“What’s good in seeing your face?” I asked him as fiercely as I could.He smirked. “Then, morning is fine with me.” He snapped back.I rolled my eyes. “Talking to you isn’t even fine with me, jerk, how much more greeting you?”
SORRYJust as when the boys left, Kristoff entered the office with something unreadable in his face. He looked like he was mad but he was more worried than angry.“Ashanti,” he started as I went back to my chair.I looked at him as I sat. “What’s up?” I asked him, trying to act cool and normal.Kristoff gave me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry,” he said.I narrowed my eyes on him. “What are you apologizing for?” I asked innocently.He leaned on my table with his hands. “Don’t pretend you don’t know,” he said. “Chester told me everything.” He continued.I nodded. “It’s all under control now,” I replied as I planned on how to kill Chester and Genevieve later. “We have found artists to model already.” I added.Kristoff looked at me. I don’t know how to describe the look he ga
MARXThere is nothing you can do when your heart decides who to love. I remember my professor in Psychology say this. For once, I have believed that this quote is a positive thing. But when I finally knew about Kristoff’s feelings, I realized that I am losing in this.I love him.He doesn’t love me.I care for him.I don’t know if what he is doing is caring for me.He does things now that he doesn’t usually do for me before. I don’t exactly know if this is an improving affection but I can see that he is starting to change.Bit by bit.I just hope it’s for the best. Because it is hurting me too much, I can’t seem to handle anymore.I walked out of my room today, prepared to go to the office. I am planning to skip breakfast because I know how awkwardly I will act in front of Kristoff after that hug last night.Come to think of it, I did r
COMPARISONKristoff, Hunter and I entered the elevator. I don’t know why but I think there is an awkward atmosphere in the elevator. No. I think there really is. I could feel it radiating from the three of us.And you know what’s worse? Kristoff’ arm is wrapped around me and I can contain all my emotions. I am dying inside. I don’t know why but he seemed to be a bit protective of me in front of Hunter. It is weird. But is a good weird.This is the first time I have ever saw him come this close to me for the longest time.Hunter Looney, on the other hand, is really quiet. This is one of the rarest times that I will see him shut up and not pester me.Should I bring Kristoff all the time for him to stop bothering me?But then again, that would be hard on my part.“Wow. Hunter, you’re quiet,” I started to tease him as I looked at him.Okay, let me do thi
HIS FEELINGS“Okay. That’s all for today,” I told my employees as I closed the folder and ended the presentation I have been preparing for the past few weeks.The fashion show is just a day away and I am glad that everything is going well.I smiled at Min who waited for me at the door.“Congrats, Shan. You did it!” She beamed as I stopped in front of her. “Finally! Tomorrow, all your hard works will pay off!” She beamed excitedly.I chuckled and nodded. “It’s not just me though. It’s all of our hard works,” I replied. “We should all celebrate after the show!” I beamed as Min and I started jumping up and down in the office like we are some crazy fan girls going insane over the long-awaited comeback of Block V.We just stopped jumping when we felt really tired.“Okay. Let’s stop, I’m tired,” I said as we both