BITTERSWEET PART 1: GHOST AND GIANNA

Ghost/Divan

I grew up with the scent of death and neglect around me and I grew up knowing I was never loved or wanted by both of my parents. When I would see other parents with their kids and how they were treated, it always left me wondering why mine were so different.

Why did they hate me so much? What am I doing wrong?

I tried to shrink myself so they wouldn’t notice I was there; be a ghost while they bathed in violence. But then my siblings came along and I could no longer do that. I had to be the parent and protect them…until the day my father snapped.

How long did I lay in that house, covered in the blood of my siblings while knowing they were dead? How long did I wish to die along with them, to be gone from here and finally feel… free?

There’s one scene I relive every night when I fall asleep; my father slitting their throats and forcing me to watch so I knew what was coming. The only problem is by the time he got to me, he was weakened from the drugs.

The knife didn’t go deep.