Chapter 61 - Trigger

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Evaki

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"Ooh! I love that boot," Tory says upon entering the closet, and I thank her before asking if she thinks the dress is too tight, and she says no. I feel like I gained weight this past month, even my breasts look and feel bigger. I tell her that, and she asks when the last time was that I took a pregnancy test, but I tell her there’s no need.

Paris and I haven’t been intimate for about three months now. The first two months were on him. He was traumatized by our situation, and now it’s me. Ever since Stefania fell pregnant, I haven’t been able to be intimate with him; I just can’t do it. When I tell her that, she looks shocked, but the shock is quickly replaced by sadness.

"I love him, Tory; that hasn’t changed, and it never will. But it's too painful right now," I say, and she comes up to hug me. It’s been a month since the news of Stefania’s pregnancy, and I’m happy for her and for Paris, but it doesn’t take away the pain, and I have tried all I can to sh