74

ASHLEY

"Arden!!!"

"Fuck!"

"Arden, look at me!"

"Baby, look at me!"

Those words kept playing over and over in my head, shattering me.

You know that feeling when you have just stumbled upon a new song and you love it, then you slowly become obsessed with it, replaying it on repeat for the longest because you can't get enough of it? Yeah, imagine it the other way around because that was exactly how I felt, except this wasn't my favorite music. This was my worst nightmare replaying over and over again in my head, scarring me, tormenting and stripping me of my sanity.

And no matter how hard I tried to shut it out, it came back stronger, resurfacing and shoving the harsh, bitter truth in my face. The guilt that consumed me and ate me up was unfathomable to me. It gnawed at me, draining every ounce of emotions I had left in me. It would have been better if it just overwhelmed me all at once and I wouldn't have to feel this way anymore but it didn't. It was slow, torturous, and unending.

I wa