Chapter 72

I don't know what to feel...

Am I sad? Certainly. But why am I acting like I should? Why am I only staring at blankness? Why can't I react the way that I should be reacting? It was as if I had lost all my emotions within me. Or perhaps, it lost its meaning to do so.

I lost my child... How am I able to live now?

"My baby..." I uttered weakly.

I was wrong when I thought that the most painful thing was to be compared with your sister all the damn time. I was wrong when I thought that nothing could compare to the pain I went through in my childhood.

But... nothing's more painful than losing your own child.

I feel like dying.

I felt resentment towards my family. I feel sad, disheartened. Anger was always in my heart back then. I don't know how to express my feelings so it turned into anger. I was angry about everything that was happening to me. It was anger.

I hate to feel that way. I think it was toxic and inappropriate to someone like me to feel anger towards her own family. I never li