WhitneyThere are moments in life you don't expect. I've experienced quite a few in my life. Sleeping with Ryan, finding out that I'm pregnant, thinking Ryan was the officer killed only to find out it was Trevor and he was badly hurt. Most of the time you're unprepared for the emotions and the repercussions these moments bring to you. That's where I am right now. Sitting beside Ryan in the surgical waiting room, holding my breath to see what they say about my brother.In the corner sits my parents. Married almost forty years, and they've never had to sit at the hospital for either of us, or themselves before. In the opposite corner, Blaze sits next to her partner but both of them have vacant eyes as they stare unseeingly at the room of gathered people. Me? I sit here next to Ryan, my heart bursting.In the middle of this impossible situation, whether it be appropriate or not, I need to tell him how much he means to me. For once, I have to let go of the fear, and let the truth fly
WhitneyThe hospital is quiet this morning as I carry the food and my purse through the hallways before I hit the elevator. Ryan had barely stirred this morning when I left the bed, which says a lot about how tired he is. We've all been stressed about Trevor, but yesterday they'd downgraded him and moved him to a private room on a regular floor. To say we're all relieved is an understatement.If you ask everyone in my family, I can almost guarantee that we all slept better last night than we have since the wreck. I struggle with believing it's only been a few days.The elevator dings and I hop on, not surprised it's empty. Not many people want to spend their Thanksgiving morning in a hospital, but it's tradition for Trevor and I have to have breakfast before we go over to mom and dad's for a late lunch/early dinner. I can't bring myself to stop the tradition just because he's in the hospital. If anything, it makes me want to keep it going.When the doors open on the appropriate
WhitneyToday has been a shit day. I couldn't get into my favorite sandals because my feet have swollen so much and even though it's damn December, it's still hot in Alabama. The shirt I wanted to wear didn't cover my stomach, and I have the worst craving I've ever had for sweet tea.I haven't even had a sweet tea since I found out I was pregnant, but today, my mouth waters as I think about drinking one.Checking the clock on my SUV, I see I have thirty minutes before I have to meet my next appointment. If I swing into the Sonic drive-thru, I should still make it in plenty of time. As I pull into their parking lot, I go around the building to take my place in line, instead of blocking traffic by pulling sideways into the drive-thru. That's a pet peeve of mine, and I always make sure not to do it.I text the bride I'm meeting, letting her know I'll be there in a few minutes, and then watch as an older gentleman in a Range Rover pulls into the drive, blocking traffic just like I
Renegade"You're not looking so hot this morning, Princess."Yesterday she was like the energizer bunny, cleaning the house like the devil himself was nipping at her heels. Today, it looks like she almost can't get out of bed."I think I overdid it," she admits as she tries to sit up. "I'm sick to my stomach, and I haven't been sick to my stomach in months.""You want me to call into work? You think I need to take you to get checked out?"It's so hard to know with her, hard to gauge how she feels and what she's thinking. For so long, Whitney's done things her way, but over the course of the last few days she's started to hand some things over. Addison's taking care of the business while Whitney takes a short maternity leave, and her mom is organizing the care for Trevor.Whitney had wanted to do all of those things because that's what she's always done, but judging by the way she looks right now, it's gonna be a miracle if she can get out of bed today. "Babe, you're kinda s
Whitney"Should we put Santa gifts out for her?" I whisper as I reach over to lie Stella down in her crib.Ryan gives me a look, motioning us out of the nursery. When we close the door partway and walk down the hallway, he turns to me. "Whit, she's ten days old. She's not going to even wonder when she gets older if we did anything for her first Christmas.""Logically I know that, but what if when she's older, she asks for pictures?""Then she'll have them of all of us with her at her grandparents' opening gifts. Babe, don't overthink this. Let's just go to the living room, make sure everything is turned off, and sleep while she does. You know as well as I do she'll be up in a few hours and we'll be dragging ass tomorrow."He's right. We're still trying to get on a schedule and it's been harder than I imagined it would be. "Sounds like a great plan to me."I almost don't want to go any further down the hall than our bedroom. There's a part of me that wants to ask Ryan to mak
VOLUME TWO:TANKBlaze"Dispatch, this is thirty-two, thirty-two show us en route to the call for the vehicle collision at the bottoms," I notify our intent to respond as my partner Logan and I make our way to the call that came over the radio moments before. We're not far away, five minutes on the curvy backroads. I hang on as Logan hits a pothole that's gotten worse after the brutally hot summer we had. "Damn county needs to fix these roads," I gripe as I brace my hand above my head to keep from hitting the roof of the ambulance.The radio cackles as dispatch comes through with more information about the scene we're headed toward. "Be advised we're hearing now it's an officer who's been involved in the collision. They've requested the fire department bring in the jaws of life."Thank God, Trevor isn't working today. He texted me earlier telling me he was going fishing, so the fear I feel isn't as bad as it would be if I were wondering where he is. Going over the list of the
TankEverything fucking hurts. I've never felt this kind of pain before in my life, not even when I was in the military. What's worse is I don't remember what I've done to cause myself to be in this agony.The last thing I can recall is driving to the bottoms with my windows cracked, hard rock playing as loud as I could handle it, and my thoughts on the red-head spitfire who's been ignoring me for months. I was formulating a plan to get back in her good graces, to let her know her job didn't mean jack shit, if it meant my ultimatum kept her away from me. She called my bluff and when I got to my fishing spot, I was going to text her, let her know I'd deal with her job because fuck – I missed her. After that all I remember is pain."Trevor, can you hear me?"I'm trying to tell this woman who keeps screaming at me that I can indeed, fucking hear her. She's shoving something into my side near my lung and it's killing me.I go to grab for it, feeling plastic. Maybe it's a tube.
Blaze"With him, I wouldn't be good driving. I wanna be back here, making sure he's comfortable until we hand his care over."Logan nods, and we race like hell for the helipad where the air evac will meet us to take him to the nearest trauma center an hour away. I administer anything and everything I can to make him more comfortable, watching his low blood pressure and heart rate with a critical eye.Suddenly his already low pressure begins dropping. "Trevor!" My hands shake, and for the first time, I don't know what to do. My normally instinctual training is gone and I'm scared to death. "Don't do this to me," I look around in the back of the ambulance, everything looking foreign to me. His blood pressure drops further, beeps going off everywhere and I'm lost. Tears are streaming down my face and I'm hyperventilating, unsure of what to do to help him. He's dying in front of me, and I can't help him. I gasp, jerking awake so hard that I fall off the cot I've been sleeping o