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Chapter 81: Painkiller

Could somebody please tell me how to not be sad knowing you wanted to follow your old man’s footsteps but you were not that good enough to do that? And one more thing; every thing I had been feeling all this time, were these just bits and pigments of sadness brought by the demises of the victims, or was I just really depressed with everything that had been going through? I could not figure which was which. Can somebody please do it for me?

As I continued gazing to the crystal clear lake beneath the sloping stone bridge, I did not know that pulps of tears were already forming on the corners of my eyes. They were big drops of waters when they fell and rolled over my cheeks down to my neck. As far as I could genuinely remember, this was the first time I ever cried. Like real cry. Not forced. Not faked. Not a product of my over-intensified talent in drama. The sob I did after seeing the dead bodies of my two classmates were fake. Yes, they were indeed fake. It

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