If I forgave them right now, I could heal, and we could all build our lives together. We could get Sara out of our lives for good, and never worry about her again. We could go through the next few months of my pregnancy together, happy. We could actually hold hands at the doctor appointments, and I could watch them put the nursery together for the twins. We could move into a new house, and forget all about this one. We could have the twins and then more and more and more kids, just like Nicholas and Antonio want.
If I forgave them right now, we could live the life we had already started building.
But could I really forgive them?
After everything that they just did?
Opening my eyes, I look at both of them. “I can't forgive you guys, not right now. You guys have officially broken my heart. You guys have broken me. I don't even know if I can ever really forgive you guys. Like truly forgive you guys. Maybe one day I will be able to actually find a way to not hate you guys for this. But right now I can't even picture myself getting to a point where I actually can do that.”
I wipe the tears from my face, still sniffling slightly.
“I love you guys, i really fucking do. I always have, since the very beginning. A piece of me has always loved you guys. I just could never admit it, not for a long time, because of everything that i have been through. And im about one hundred percent positive that a piece of me will always fucking love you guys. In fact, I think that's pretty much guaranteed. But I think that a piece of me will always hate you guys, too, for what you guys did today.”
“But it was not real! Like, not really real. We don't love her, we don't even like her. Our bodies don't yearn for her, our hearts don't call her name, not like with you. We did it as a test! We needed the truth!” antonio pleads, still trying to justify his fucking actions.
“And that's the problem, Antonio!'' I shake my head at him. At them. “Thats the fucking probelm. You guys cared more about getting the truth about Sara than you guys cared about me and my fucking feelings. And before you guys decide to disagree with that, just know that that is exactly what fucking happened. You guys didn't stop to think about what other options you guys had. You guys didnt fucking think, period. If you guys had actually taken a second to think about what to do, you guys probably would not have done what you guys did. Or, if you guys had come to me, like youre supposed to, i could have fucking helped you guys.”
“We couldn't go to you, Caroline. We needed to protect you. There is nothing that you could have done. Okay?”
“You dont fucking know that! I'm your wife. Im your fucking wife. I'm supposed to be your wife. I'm supposed to be your partner. I'm supposed to be there for you guys. But no. You guys didn't come to me. You guys didn't ask me for help. No. You push me away. You run away. You left me alone. And you came to your ex wife, and you guys kissed her. How does that make sense?”
Shaking my head at them once more, I turn away from them for a moment before facing them once more. “You guys claim that I have made you guys strong. You guys claim that loving me has made you guys stronger. I think you guys are wrong. I think i was fucking wrong. Loving you guys has not made me stronger. It's made me the pathetic wife who gets cheated on.”
“Don't say that, caroline.” Nicholas pleads, staring at me with tears streaming down his face. “Please, don't say that. We love you, we fucking love you.”
Finally stepping forward, I reach a hand up to each of their faces and cup their cheeks.
They stare at me, eyes wide and full of hope.
I take a deep breath before speaking, terrified to shatter that hope.
“I know you guys do. And I wish that was enough. Trust me, I wish that was enough. But it's not. Love is not enough.”
I pull my hands away from them and step all the way back once more.
A piece of me breaks when I see the hope leave their eyes, replaced instantly with sadness, with sorrow.
“I won't run away. I promise I wont run away. You guys deserve to be part of the twins' life. They are your guys’ children. They will always be your guys’ children."
“I don't know what our future holds, and I can't promise you guys anything other than letting you guys be there for the twins. But I need my space, too. I don't want you guys showing up to my place in the middle of the night. I dont want you guys trying to get in my pants. And, while i dont want you guys to, I wont control who you guys sleep with, even if it is Sara. I just don't want to know anything about it, if it happens. I'll give you guys updates about the twins, and about any doctor appointments. That's all I can do right now, okay?” The twins both nod, both looking mournful.“We will give you the space you seek, Caroline. But we will never, ever stop trying to earn your trust again. Okay? Because we love you. And we want our family to be together again.” Nicholas says, smiling meekly while crossing his arms across his chest.“And about Sara? We will never sleep with her. We will never even fucking touch her again. She's going to leave, we promise you that. There is no one els
Amanda is a fucking saint.My personal knight in shining armor.She arrived at my doorstep less than seven hours later, which is insane since the flight here from Seattle alone is around five hours.And she stopped at a convenience store first on her way here from the airport.When I let her into my home, she immediately wrapped her arms around me while I sobbed loudly.“Oh, sweetheart. Now i really am going to have to fucking kill those stupid assholes.”She ushers me into the house and closes the door behind us. “Okay, so I brought three different kinds of ice cream, as well as some brownies, chocolates, drinks, and some frozen pizzas.”Her words make me sob harder.“Oh, honey.'' She rubs my arm gently in an effort to calm my crying. “Okay, so you should sit on the couch and get started on this ice cream while I start the pizzas. I know you haven't eaten, and you may not want to, but those babies in there need some kind of food. So ice cream and pizza it is.”I cry even harder.“I s
Watching caroline leave has to be the worst fucking thing i have ever fucking seen.She cant leave right now, thats all i kept fucking thinking as i watched her get in the car.As she drove away from us, I could no longer control my emotions.I fall to my knees in the driveway, tears streaming freely as sobs wreck my body.“We fucked up, nick. She will never forgive us now. What are we going to do?” I cry out.Nick sniffles next to me before pulling out his phone. “We can start by getting Sara out of our house.”He dials a number before pressing the phone to his ear.“Jameson, I need yo
We let her kiss us.We let her touch us.No, we don't like it.We got no fucking satisfaction from her.We were disgusted.But we let her do it anyway.We broke our vows to our wife.We broke her heart.Maybe she will never truly forgive us.When Lucien screamed his words, I thought something had happened to caroline.After all, why would he be here when he was supposed to be with our wife?But as soon as we saw Caroline there, staring at us with so
I sit on the couch, the tub of ice cream tucked in my lap, already a quarter of the way gone.Amanda sits on the other end of the couch.She looks worried.Very, very worried.I can see why.When I called her, I was hysterical. As she went to the airport, she stayed on the phone with me. She talked to me, gave me words of encouragement, words of reassurance.She stayed on the phone with me through the security line, all the way until she had to board the plane.“So, what the hell happened?” she asks, opening a tub of ice cream for herself.“I don't even know where to start
“I cant believe that he would cover for you.” Amanda says, taking a bite of her own ice cream.“I know. I was surprised, too. But I guess he knew who I really was. He had dug into my past after seeing some irregularities in my background check. Of course, only very few people would have been able to find those irregularities. He took the fall because he felt that I needed that job. He took the fall, and he was fired. His father fired him, and his entire future at TechBuddy was taken from him.” I take another bite of my ice cream. I let it melt in my mouth before swallowing and then resuming. “Jacob never really held that against me. I promised him that if he needed my help one day, I would help him, no questions asked. When he finally took me up on the offer, it had been over two years. He came knocking on my door, the twins in tow. He needed me to look over his security system for the twins company. He needed me to fix his mistake. So I did. I did it because I owed him. And that da
“She was dead? How is that even possible, if she's here and alive?” I lean back against the couch, exasperated. “Exactly! They said she was killed by one of their enemies, Demitri. He killed her to get to them. He didn't know, of course, that their marriage wasn't even real. Or, at the very least, romantic. The twins pushed everyone away after that. They felt responsible for her death. In their eyes, she would not have been killed if she wasn't connected to them. They threw themselves at work. They didn't even have sex for two years. Until they met me.” “See, at least you weren't the only one there losing something that night! You lost your virginity, and they lost their celibacy!” she teases. I laugh momentarily before continuing. “Haha! You're a clown!” we end up giggling even more. “Back to the story, clown!” she orders jokingly. “Fine! Anyways, we hook up, get married, and then we move to that god forsaken house. They had their secrets, and I had mine. The biggest obstacle
"And I was right.” I say, sucking in a deep breath before continuing. “After Sara came back into the picture, I no longer felt comfortable being in that house. I needed to get out of there. The twins let me come here alone to have some time to think. I had to fight them for it, but they let me. They showed up in the middle of the night, begging to let me let them sleep on my floor.” I take a deep breath before admitting the next part. “We can't really sleep right without each other.” She looks at me, shock written all over her face. “I hope they feel it tonight then, for sure.” I shake my head at her words. That's not what I want. I hate hurting them, be it intentionally or not. “They came here and I let them in. and straight into my bed. I wanted to just move on from everything. I didn't want to push them away. I was scared that if I did, if I did push them away, they would be pushed all the way into her arms. So I let them in right away, like an idiot. We only had one day away