Three hours and a shower later, I'm seated in the front of Colton's BMW. The top is up, and we're headed north toward the place we both grew up. Although, admittedly, Colton's upbringing was vastly different. Colton grew up in a wealthy neighborhood near Beck and Mia while I was on the other side town, in a more middle-class area.I can't resist glancing at him from the corner of my eye as I sit in the passenger seat.Did I make a mistake?If I did, it's much too late to do anything about it now. I'm along for the ride. There's no backing out. After a couple of miles, the familiar exit comes into view and we depart the highway and turn onto a country road surrounded by farm fields on both sides. I roll down the window and inhale a deep breath of fresh air. There's something so comforting about it that it settles the nerves fighting to break free at the bottom of my belly. I need that right now more than anything. Once on the outskirts of town, Colton turns into the drive of a
We each grab two or three containers and follow Jenna into the two- story dining room off the kitchen. When all of the dishes have been set out on the table, we take our seats. The table is black and stretches thirty feet in length. There is enough seating for twenty people. Since it's just the four of us, ivory and cerulean-colored China plates have been set at one end. Warren takes his place at the head of the table, Jenna on one side, as Colton and I settle opposite of her. Everything is family style, and we all dig in, helping ourselves.Warren and Jenna pepper me with surface level questions throughout the meal. They tease Colton every chance they get. They talk about the upcoming game next weekend and how they're looking forward to cheering him on. If I weren't watching Colton so closely, I wouldn't have noticed the barely perceptible tightening of his jaw. I can't help but wonder what that's about.Jenna turns to me. "Hopefully, we'll see you there."Admittedly, I've
My tongue darts out to moisten dry lips as I search my mind for something to say. Something that will get us back on even terrain. The question is out of my mouth before I can stop it. "At dinner, when Jenna mentioned attending your game, you didn't seem happy about it."The energy that had been intensifying between us dissipates and for that I'm grateful.His muscles stiffen. Even though he glances away, his fingers stay connected to my shoulder. I can't deny that part of me is thankful for killing the mood. I'm not ready for this to progress into something more.For a long moment, I wonder if he'll bother with a response. Maybe it's better that way. If Colton can't open up and give me a glimpse into what's going on in his head, then what's the point?I never set this up to be a test but that's what it's turned out to be.Just as I'm about to suggest that we head back downstairs, he drags his other hand through his blond hair as his gaze returns to mine. "Coach benched me."N
With my arms folded behind my head, I stare at the ceiling as everything from tonight crashes around inside my brain. If there's one thing that I hate, it's thinking about Candance. She's like Beetlejuice. Say her name three times and she magically appears inside my head, taking up residence like an unwanted squatter.And that, on top of everything else going on, is the last thing I need or want.The woman abandoned me when I needed her most. She walked away without ever looking back. There's a giant void in her place. It's one Jenna has diligently tried to fill.Everything softens within me as I think about my stepmother. Truth be told, she's so much more than that. She's the mother Candance never could be. Or, more to the point, never wanted to be.I'm not embarrassed to admit that I love Jenna. I appreciate everything she's done for me over the years. Driving my ass around town before I had a license. Helping me with homework when I didn't understand something or needed
"I know."She nods. "Do you want to do it now or wait until tomorrow?"If I wait, I might chicken out. Scratch that, I'll definitely chicken out. As far as I'm concerned, it's now or never. "Let's just get it over with."Her hands slide from around my neck where they've been draped, up my neck, before cupping the sides of my cheeks. She leans up on her tiptoes before pressing her lips against mine. Before I can sink into the kiss, she draws away. "I'll be right here with you."I jerk my head into a nod as she steps away.On legs that feel wooden, I walk across the room and grab my laptop from my backpack before we settle on the queen-sized mattress. Alyssa sits close enough for our shoulders and thighs touch. Barely do I acknowledge to myself that this is really the first time she's taken the initiative to be near me since she's returned from London. Almost as if to punctuate that thought, her fingers settle on my thigh and I have to admit, having her here with me helps.With
This night has swerved a direction I could have never predicted when I saw him standing outside the fine arts building this afternoon. Even though I've done everything possible to keep Colton at arm's length to avoid developing feelings for him. It's been a losing battle from the very beginning. If I hadn't realized it when we talked in his room, I do now.There is something undeniable between us. There always has been. I'm tired of trying to fight the attraction. I'm tired of fighting the feelings that are still there. Or denying they exist in a feeble attempt to move on. I can't do it any longer. I have no idea what will happen between us or how this will ultimately end. For all I know, it could be badly. What I do know is that there is relief in finally accepting the situation.I place my palms on his naked chest, slowly sweeping them up, needing to feel the sinewy strength that lies beneath. I rise to my tiptoes until my lips can brush across his. My hands drift from h
Just as I'm adding the finishing touches to a paper, an email pops up in the corner of my computer screen. Everything inside me freezes as I stare at the name. It's as if I'm dangling at the tippy top of a sky-high rollercoaster, perched for a descent. C. Radcliffe.In what universe did I think reaching out to my mother was a good idea? Why did I think it would give me the closure I needed to move on with my life?Right now, it seems like the worst thing I could have possibly done.All of a sudden, I feel like I'm going to puke.Instead of opening up the message and reading it, I slam the laptop closed and shove away from the table I've been working at. The more distance I put between myself and that computer, the better off I am. My chest feels heavy. It feels as if there is a thousand-pound elephant sitting on it, making it impossible to breathe.A cold sweat breaks out across my brow as I grab my keys and wallet and head out the apartment. Less than twenty long-legged stride
F*ck.Why did I agree to this?Why did I even reach out in the first place?Why couldn't I have left well enough alone?I was perfectly fine living my life.Well...maybe perfectly fine is something of an overstatement, but it was all good.I sit behind the wheel of my BMW in a parking space on the street in front of the coffee shop somewhere in the middle of where we both live. It's about an hour away from school. The only other person who knows I'm here is Alyssa. I couldn't bring myself to tell Dad or Jenna. They probably would have tried to talk me out of this. Maybe not Jenna. I think she would understand. But Dad?He definitely would have. He loves Jenna but he's salty about how Candance just walked out of our lives without ever looking back.As I stare at the cream brick and the worn wooden sign that hangs over the door, I'm kind of wishing I would have given them the chance to change my mind.I don't want to be here. And yet, I can't bring myself to turn the key in the