The sounds of the rustling leaves and my friends bustling about, the chilly wind caressing my cheeks. My feet grounded, but my body felt as light as a feather.
I took in every sound and sensation with my eyes closed and body stationary. Every vivid sensation reminded me painfully of the fact that I'm still alive, and my chest tightened a little more with every beat of my heart, slowly suffocating me.
The longer I immersed myself in this gradually intensifying pain, the more I lost touch with reality. As I nearly lost my stranded self in the endless surging of waves that constantly threatened to overthrow and drown me, a familiar voice cut deep into me. Dragging my awareness away from the pain, pulsating in the depths of my soul, never leaving.
"Aria! Move your ass and help us with the tents!"
Reluctantly opening my eyes, I turned to look in the direction where Nathans' voice came from. After finding his hunched figure that was across the camping grounds together with Kaitlin and Alex, busy setting up our tents, I slowly shuffled my way over.
I took the time to observe the camping grounds we had rented together for our last bonding trip as graduating members of the Outdoor Adventure Club, and it lives up to its' reputation as one of the best camping grounds.
An area designated for pitching our tents, a barbeque and campfire pit in the centre, bathroom facilities split for 2 genders by the entrance, and the large open space separated from the forest by a fence. It gave the closest feeling one could get to camping outdoors, with such convenient facilities provided. Furthermore, everywhere I look is clean and tidy. For the price of the 2 days and 1 night booking, it was worth every cent spent.
By the time I reached them, they had already pitched up three tents with only one left. Their speed and efficiency in completing tasks are as astounding as always.
"You're so slow. You're setting the last one up on your own."
Nathan grumbled, moving on to complain about my lack of initiative, then lectured me on why it's bad and how it would negatively impact me. Contrary to his harsh and sharp words, his actions were more indicative of his kind nature hidden behind his prickly personality. He was already unpacking the last bag to pitch the tent with me; he never intended to leave me to finish the task alone.
Alex and Kaitlin laughed and prompted me that they were going to help Linus at the barbeque pit. While passing by me, they patted my shoulder and winked, giving me a thumbs up with a shit-eating grin on their faces.
It wasn't hard to guess what they were hinting at; it was an open secret in the club about Nathan's not too discreet feelings for me. Though maybe due to privacy reasons and respect for a fellow member, no one was willing to inform me about it. Instead, they tried their hardest to hint it to me in the most painfully obvious ways.
Even without their help, I was long aware of Nathans' feelings since it was pretty obvious whether he realised it. It was harder not to notice, with how attentive he was to me and his willingness to take care of me despite his complaints. It would've been fine if he had treated everyone else the same. However, it was apparent that it was a treatment exclusively for me.
But no matter how well or special he treated me, it is impossible for me to accept, much less return his feelings. So I chose to pretend to have not noticed anything, as dense and oblivious as a rock.
Hence in response to the lovebirds hinting, as per usual, I tilted my head slightly to the side while feigning confusion in my eyes and giving a small perfunctory smile.
With that, they sighed and turned to look at Nathan with sympathy written on their faces. Turning back around and heading over to the barbeque pit.
I squat down beside Nathan, intending to do my part, but he still did most of the work with how slow I moved. I turned my head enough to see him from the corner of my eye and thanked him.
Nathan stole a quick glimpse at me and blushed a little as he snorted through his nose and sped up his movements.
I took back my eyes to focus on my side while wondering what there was to like about me.
My very being exudes exhaustion and lethargy. I'm lazy, slow, and unmotivated. Unlike ordinary people, I've long lost my attachment to life, and I never made an effort to hide that fact. I wouldn't care if one day I just dropped dead.
I didn't have anything to live for, and the only thing I wanted I had lost long ago. It was all my fault too, and for that, there was no one I hated more than myself. I couldn't understand how someone could love a person who hated themselves and no longer cherished their own life.
But I didn't need to understand; nothing would change whether I did or not. It wouldn't change my mind about pretending to be blind for as long as Nathan doesn't confess, and if he does, I would properly reject him. It wasn't my responsibility to consider a person who doesn't want his feelings known at the moment, as cold-hearted as it may be. After all, I've long turned cold and numb to everyone else the day I lost my heart.
"You're hopeless, aren't you? You're not even half done."
Nathan's blunt words pulled me out of my thoughts as he naturally took over what I'd been doing.
"Oh, thanks," giving him the usual smile.
"I'm not doing this to help you. You're just too slow."
Yet I could see the tips of his ear peeking out from underneath his hair slightly redden.
"You're nice," I stated under my breath with the tone one uses when talking about the weather.
His hand holding the pole shook a little, nearly dropping it. He turned to me with a red face and groaned out, "shut up."
I turned back to the task at hand, lightly commenting, "my lips are sealed."
I could feel Nathan staring at me a little longer, then heard him huff under his breath before he got busy again.
"Done, let's go."
Nathan stood up, and before he could offer his hand, I got up on my own.
He looked a little regretful as he took back his slightly raised hand, turning to match my excruciatingly slow pace.
As I shuffled my way over, I felt an intense gaze boring through my back. I initially wanted to ignore it, but a feeling that I needed to turn around and look spread through my chest. A very subtle sense tells me that this was important, and if I ignored it, I would lose something very important.
It was ironic since I have nothing else left to lose. But then again, I rarely get this feeling, and it had been accurate thus far. So I decided to listen and turned around abruptly to catch whoever is boring a hole through my back.
But all I could see were the trees beyond the fence that surrounds the camping ground. There was no figure of a person or shadow in sight.
Just a little, I felt disappointed though I didn't know what for. It was nothing but a whim, and I wasn't expecting anything, yet I couldn't help but feel a tad disappointed at finding nothing. It was weird and strange. Before I could continue musing on it, Nathan called out to me.
"Aria? What's wrong?"
I turned back around to see Nathans' worried look. The sight of me abruptly turning around must have alarmed him.
I glanced over my shoulder at the area where I had felt the stare coming from, retrieved my gaze, and continued on my way.
Over the shuffling of my dragging feet, I attempted to dispel Nathans' worry. "It's nothing, just thought I heard something."
Nathan looks visibly relieved before his face stiffened a little as he warned me, "it's probably just a passing wild animal. This place is relatively safe, but just to be safe, don't go anywhere alone. Make sure at least either Linus or I am with you if you're going anywhere."
"What about Alex and Kaitlin?"
Nathan snorted, "they're too weak. If anything happens, they can't carry you and run away immediately."
As if just realising the implication behind his words, he blushed a little and sped up. As though trying to run away from his embarrassment. It resulted in unintentionally leaving me behind since I couldn't be bothered to catch up with him.
Giving one last glance behind, the trees' branches swayed with the wind as if in greeting. I turned back around with the sound of the leaves rustling behind my back.
Sun shining bright in a clear sky accompanied by an occasional breeze, another day of good weather. It would've been a perfect day for a surprise picnic date if not for the dropping temperature with the change in seasons. When I return, I'll wait for Spring or early Autumn, and I'll bring her out on a picnic date. Preparing her favourite food, finding an empty and peaceful area to settle down, just spending and enjoying time alone. That would be delightful. Ah, this tree seems to have lost a few more leaves from yesterday. The temperature must be getting too cold for humans to bear. I do hope that she doesn't dress too lightly. How worrying. Moving along silently on a familiar unmarked path, I made my way over to my usual spot. With Winter encroaching upon this forest, the little ones are now in their busiest phase; and when the green and brown is coated in a layer of white, the little ones will soon disappear with the noise that accompanies them — le
Aria turned her head enough to look at him from the corner of her eye and stayed in that position in silence. Her stare made him a little uneasy, but Linus just shrugged off the feeling since he knew Aria didn't mean anything bad by it. After warming up to her, it didn't take long for everyone in the club to realise how slow she functions. So they had tacitly adopted the method of waiting, giving her the time and space she needed to formulate a response. Alex and Kaitlin also paid attention to Aria's answer, brimming with curiosity about the plans of the most mysterious member of their club. Despite getting along with Aria for three years, no one had been able to break through her ironclad wall. Aria wasn't an individual that actively divulged any information on herself, and when questioned, she would simply smile and keep silent. Even though the possibility of Aria answering was minuscule, it was still an opportunity to find out at least something about her. Not to mention, she wasn
Aria comes from a loving family, surrounded by genuine friends who look out for each other, and a lifestyle that may not be extravagant but is comfortable. There were no obstacles in her life path. Everything Aria could possibly need was already provided or given to her. Aria was well-aware and acknowledged that to be born in such circumstances is a blessing, but she could never truly feel so. She couldn't shake off the feeling that this wasn't where she belonged, and she'd been stranded in an unfamiliar place all alone. No matter how much Aria rationalised and convinced herself that this feeling will pass with time, it never did. Instead, it only grew stronger the longer Aria left it alone, so much so that she started to feel guilty to all who loved her. Aria was incapable of reciprocating the affections and concern they showered her with. Hence she was burdened with the obligation to pretend that she appreciated it, constantly wrecking her brain to act out how regular people would
A deafening silence enveloped the two figures hidden in the cocoon weaved from the darkness. Amon's figure didn't move, nor did he say anything after calling Aria's name for the first time. Although he had imagined myriad scenarios of when he first calls her name, never had he imagined it would be in a situation like this. Though he hoped desperately for a sign or response from Aria, he didn't rush her or force her to. He didn't have the rights to, with how he had been ignorant of her constant calls for him for the past four years. Remorse washed over Amon, silently scolding himself for his insensitivity, thoughtlessness, and oversight. He knew that Aria has an innate fear of being abandoned and alone, and though he would never even thought to do something like that, that was precisely what he'd done. Perhaps, from his perspective, it was merely a few short years. Compared to the duration of his lifespan, it wasn't even worth mentioning. Yet he had forgotten the most crucial aspect
"Why, Why do you still love me? I'm disgusting and selfish. I've not only tried to replace you with so many different men, but I've also been touched in indecent ways by every single one. Is it not disturbing? I don't have a single redeeming quality that would be mildly attractive. I can't even put on the show of a bright, all smiles, happy girl like in the past. I'm a wet blanket on any occasion; I wouldn't know how to comfort you if you were feeling down. In fact, I'd probably just make it worse. Despite witnessing everything I'd done, you should know best how cruel I am. Everything I did, I did it with an impure motive. Why did you still choose to not only stay but even love me despite that? You should've left, find someone better—someone who's cute, or pretty, or pure. Anyone would've been better for you, so why are you telling me you love me? Why didn't you get sick of me? How are you able to stand being around me, much less see me. You should be disappointed in me, hate me, de
Sun shining bright in a clear sky accompanied by an occasional breeze, another day of good weather. It would've been a perfect day for a surprise picnic date if not for the dropping temperature with the change in seasons. When I return, I'll wait for Spring or early Autumn, and I'll bring her out on a picnic date. Preparing her favourite food, finding an empty and peaceful area to settle down, just spending and enjoying time alone. That would be delightful. Ah, this tree seems to have lost a few more leaves from yesterday. The temperature must be getting too cold for humans to bear. I do hope that she doesn't dress too lightly. How worrying. Moving along silently on a familiar unmarked path, I made my way over to my usual spot. With Winter encroaching upon this forest, the little ones are now in their busiest phase; and when the green and brown is coated in a layer of white, the little ones will soon disappear with the noise that accompanies them — leaving behind a white and silent
University of the Arts, in the English Literature department building, sunlight streamed through the glass panels, lighting the corridor in a warm orange glow. The streaks slipping through highlighted a lady's features with an elegant gait as she made her way to her next class. There was an illusion of her hair flaring to life, bright like fire. Despite exuding a lazy temperament, she carried a unique charm about her that didn't invoke dislike. Instead, it drew eyes to her figure and gave others the desire to get closer. As Aria got closer to her destination, she could hear her energetic students making a ruckus in the classroom. Once she reached the door, Aria could faintly make out glimpses of multiple conversations. "Did you hear about-" "So hot!" "My new male god!" "He's a new professor at-" "Isn't this too cruel-" Not concerning herself with the ever gossip-hungry students, prowling like a pack of starved hyenas, Aria opened the door and didn't declare her arrival nor remi
Under the soft morning light, at the busy train station entrance, stood a lone woman. A slight blush dusted her cheeks, and her eyes shone brightly from anticipation and excitement. From time to time, her eyes would dart back to the massive flow of people entering and leaving the station, a heavy indication that she was waiting for someone. The way she stood stiffly and her posture as proper as it can be looked endearingly adorable in the eyes of the people passing by. The nervous fiddling of her fingers further solidified the image of an innocent young girl in love. Combined with her attractive appearance, several unsavoury men were beginning to linger around her when one of them moved first. "Hi! You waiting for someone?" The young woman turned her head only to see an unfamiliar young man, and her demeanour instantly cooled to indifference. She turned her eyes back to face the street, watching people walk by, and promptly ignored the stranger. Despite being given the cold shoulde