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54| Not Some Cliche
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Toxic Paradise 55| The Last Beach Day
Waking up the next morning, I felt great. Alec and I stayed on the beach for hours last night. Eventually, I dozed off and we headed home, but by that time, it was like 2:00 in the morning. I couldn't help but smile thinking back to our kiss... or several kisses. Things didn't escalate given that we were in a public place, but I couldn't deny that I wanted to take things further with Alec. He just had a way of making me feel so great whenever I was with him... and just genuinely happy. That is, when he wasn't being a dick. I wasn't sure what Ryan had planned for the day, but I was up earlier than usual. A glance at my phone told me that it was only 7:30. Briefly, I thought about going back to bed, but then I got an idea. Ryan had been so incredible to me since day one. He was kind enough to bring me here after only just meeting me, he always knew how to cheer me up, he looked after me whenever we went out, and even though I betrayed his trust with Alec, he found a way to forgive me
Toxic Paradise 56| Stay With Me
I took another sip of my red wine, staring blankly at the computer screen ahead of me. My skin slightly stung from forgetting to reapply my sunscreen today on the beach, but I didn't mind. I wanted take whatever tan I could back to Chicago with me. I knew that once I was home, I'd miss the smell of freshly applied aloe and the feel of the slight burn on my cheeks. Ryan had a headache from being in the sun all day, so he turned in around 8:00, but I knew I had plenty of research ahead of me. The problem was, all of these job listings sucked. I knew that the job I had before wasn't exactly my dream job, but it was definitely a great stepping stone to success. Having been fired, I was sure I wouldn't acquire a glowing recommendation for any new job I'd be applying for. I wasn't even sure if journalism is what I still wanted to do. What did I even have to write about? I tipped my wine back, polishing off the rest of it. I was feeling frustrated, and I knew that nothing would be able to
Toxic Paradise 57| Goodbyes and Road Trips
"Text me as soon as you land, okay?" I said, hugging tight to Ryan at the entrance of the airport. He had an early flight, so like the true friend that I was, I got up at the ass crack of dawn to drive him. Okay fine... It was 7:00 AM, but still earlier than I would have liked."Of course I will," he responded, hugging me back as a warm breeze kissed our bodies at the terminal. "And... you're really sure it's okay that I'm staying? I don't want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable..." I questioned, pressing my face to his chest so that I wouldn't need to look him in the eyes. He had already given me permission, but still, I was nervous to bring it up again. Especially after our fight about Alec and I not too long ago."Yes, I promise it's fine with me," He replied, pulling away and forcing me to look up at him with a hand under my chin. "That being said, if he does anything to hurt you, don't be afraid to call me. I can be back here in a matter of hours and I will kill hi
Toxic Paradise 58| The Stuff That’s Important
I nodded, thankful for the dismissal. I was quick to grab my red one-piece out of my suitcase and headed into the bathroom to change. I liked this suit. It was one of my favorites because of the way the cut outs revealed only the best curves of my body. The bright red also brought out my tan skin, and I was pretty sure Alec was going to like the look as well. I didn't bother with a shirt as I pulled my shorts back on. Before exiting the bathroom, I took a moment to splash some cold water on my face. "Snap out of it, Jayna," I scolded. I needed to get a grip. This was the same Alec who I'd been living with for over a month. The same Alec who could be a complete and total jackass. But also, the same Alec who had a way of making my heart beat like I had just run a marathon. I patted my face dry with the scratchy hotel towel, ran my fingers through my hair, and exited the bathroom to join Alec, who was already changed into his swim trunks and a light blue t-shirt. The color looked great
Toxic Paradise 59| Conquering Fears
We both had put on our gear, making our way into the cool water. I had a momentary flashback to our first snorkel date together; not that it was an official date, but I definitely had feelings for him already. The memory made me smile. "What are you smiling at?" He asked."Just thinking about how silly you look in your goggles," I teased."Yeah well, you've looked better yourself," He retorted, a smile tugging at his lips as we both waded into the water. He reached out to hold my hand, tugging me along as we searched the sand for trash. Occasionally, he would dive down and pull something from the sand, but once the trash was secured in his bag, he would grab my hand again. I liked the feel of his hand in mine. We weren't at a prime snorkel spot, so we didn't see as many fish as we had the first time, but after about 10 minutes, Alec tapped my shoulder, pointing at something in the distance. For a second, my heart thudded against my chest and I squeezed hard to Alec's hand, paranoi
Toxic Paradise 60| All In (pt. 1)
After stopping to get some food, Alec and I headed back to the hotel, and my jitters had returned. At first we were fine, both eating our take-out as we watched The Office. Normally, I was a fan of the show; not obsessed with it like everyone else I knew, but I liked it and appreciated the subtle humor. Tonight, however, as I sat beside Alec in bed, most of the one-liners that I normally would have laughed at just went over my head. I couldn't focus on anything else aside from the ridiculously handsome man casually laying beside me. I wondered if he could tell how nervous I was. I was fine when we were out, but something about being in a hotel room and in a bed, alone with Alec, filled me with nerves. This was different than the night he spent with me after my nightmare. Then, I was vulnerable, and it was spontaneous, so I didn't have time to work myself up like I was doing now. I didn't second guess myself when I went to make a move. What if I wasn't going to be good in bed? Ser
Toxic Paradise 61| All In (pt. 2)
We laid together for a while, my head resting on Alec's broad, muscled chest. The air conditioner blasted my naked body and I shuddered, pulling myself closer to steal some of Alec's body heat. He definitely had enough of it; he felt like a furnace. "Seriously?" He asked, running a hand up and down my arm. "How are you cold after what we just did?" I chuckled. "You keep it so cold in here. And besides, the air conditioner is on my side of the bed blasting me." He tightened his grip around my body, holding me to his chest as he rolled over, moving me to the other side of him so he could spoon me from behind. "Better?" I was glad he couldn't see the ridiculous grin on my face from his angle. "Much." There was a long moment of silence to the point where I had thought Alec might have fallen asleep, but I could still feel him rubbing a hand up and down my arm in slow, soothing movements. This was nice. Alec had exceeded my expectations in every way, and honestly, I just wanted more.
Toxic Paradise 62| Text From the Ex (pt. 1)
The days following our little road trip were great, and dare I say, some of the best days of my life. We had returned back to the house the next day, and our days had been full of beach time, swimming, and napping, followed by nights of hot tubbing, dining, and snuggling. Oh... and of course the sex. The mind blowing sex was definitely a huge part of our time together. Despite everything negative that Alec and done and said to me back when we were feuding, he really was sweet now. He always put me first, and I could feel myself slowly chipping away at the walls he had built up over the years. Each night we spent together, he revealed more and more of himself, and really, I couldn't ask for more than that. He was trying, and I could see the efforts. It even seemed like Alec was coming around to the idea of a relationship. I didn't want to get ahead of myself, but the way things were going with us, I couldn't help but see a future with him. Albeit a way different future than the one I
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