~ Chapter 6 – 12:06pm~

Rachel let her mind run over Jake’s words again and again as she made their lunch, which she wasn’t even certain why she was being that nice to him. She figured since she was probably making one of their last hot meals, might as well make enough to cover both of them. But, still, he was being an asshole and he didn’t need to be. She also hated, with the biggest passion she could manage, when he acted like that. 

So, after he tossed those cruel words out, she tossed her blanket on the couch, grabbed her book from the room, and left him to deal with the silence while she stayed at the kitchen table. Or, well that was until about twenty minutes ago when her stomach wouldn’t let her not eat anymore and she was forced to get up and make something. Again, she didn’t have to be nice, but she wasn’t a bitch either. Maybe that was her problem?

She had come to the cabin to lick her wounds, to heal from the heartache she was given. And she didn’t get the time that she wanted to even start licking those wounds. And if she was being honest, she didn’t think she would have gotten the weeks she wanted either because she knew her parents would be sending either Jay or Jake to come get her and bring her back home. They would hug her, tell her it would be okay, and that she could heal in the comfort of her bedroom at the house. But really, she knew she couldn’t heal there. She needed to be alone with her thoughts, needed to think about how the hell she even let herself stay in that type of relationship.

Sure, it was a blow when Jay told her what he saw at the club with Jake that night, however, looking back; it wasn’t like she was all that surprised. So what did that mean? What was she thinking? What was she feeling? Because, though it hurt, she had more pain over losing boyfriends in the past than what this had brought on. And why was that? She had given Tim two years and really, everyone thought they would be married. Even if he hadn’t asked her yet, they had talked about it. So, why wasn’t she crying and wallowing in pain all the God damn time?

“Yeah, figure that one out, Rachel,” she mumbled to herself as she stirred the veggies.

“It’s not a good sign when you’re talking to yourself.” Rachel jumped and turned around to look at Jake as he walked into the kitchen. “Do you know your face is full of your expressions when you’re deep in thought?”

“No, I don’t make it a point to look at my face when I think,” she retorted, it being evident her claws were once more out.

“Hey, don’t claw at me,” he told her as he hopped up on the counter next to the stove. She glared at him causing him to roll his eyes. “Okay, maybe you have every right. I’m sorry; I was a bit of a jerk back there.”

“A bit?” she questioned and he shrugged.

“Okay, okay, a lot more than a bit. Come on though, Rachel,” he started but stopped and she just looked at him. She wanted to admit to her feelings, but couldn’t, it wasn’t smart. And though at times she questioned if Jake ever saw her in a different light, it was clear he didn’t; not when he pulled off comments as he did earlier. But then there were times, like now, when he seemed on the verge of saying something and stopped. It had happened a lot over their moments alone together.

“Come on Rachel, what? Am I supposed to think you helping my brother was the only reason why you did anything? Because, personally, it sounds like a load of fucking crap.” She crossed her arms as she stared at him. She knew him too well that he wouldn’t open up about anything, not anymore. They had an amazing time and she enjoyed every moment of their night, but come the morning, there were no words, and they both went their separate ways. And fuck if that knife didn’t dig a little deeper into her gut over it.

“It might be too you, and that’s how you might see it, but it’s all I can give you right now.” She tilted her head slightly as she regarded him. He used the term ‘right now’ which meant that maybe later on she could get more. And though it sucked because she wanted answers now, she’d let it go. But she would circle back to this at some point; just like she’d circle back to many other things.

“For now, Jake, you get a pass. But don’t think I would ask again,” she told him as she pointed the spoon at him before stirring the veggies again. He nodded and then turned his attention back to the pot.

“That’s a lot of food for you to eat, Rachel.”

“It’s not all for me. I thought I’d be the bigger person and feed you too. As it is,” she said, her eyes glancing behind her to the snow that had worked its way up to just about halfway up the window, “we won’t probably have hot food much after this. Whatever I can get over the fire is all the hot stuff we can do.”

“So, I wasn’t enough of a jerk, you mean,” he said as he hopped back down and stood behind her, “to say, that you thought about feeding me too?” Her senses went crazy with him standing back there. It wouldn’t be so hard to lean back, right? To have his arms wrap around her while his lips found her neck and they could forget about the food? Well, no, that was bad, they needed the food. She closed her eyes briefly and had to mentally shake her head.

“No, I wasn’t bitch enough. So, want to grab the silverware and plates for me?” ‘And give me room to breathe,’ she tossed out in her mind. God, why the fuck did she offer her bed for him to sleep him? This would kill her, she just knew it. Fuck the semi-heartache she got from Tim; Jake would surely cause way more.

“Yeah, on it.” She heard him as he grabbed the silverware and set the table, something he usually helped her parents with. He knew this cabin probably as well as she did for as many times as he had been here. He set the plates down next to the stove and then opened the refrigerator. “Soda okay or water?”

“Soda is fine,” she said as she dished up the plate and he took it, setting it down on the table. Once she had the other one done, he took it as well and sat down next to her. She smiled at him as she cut into her chicken and took a bite.

“I do thank you for cooking,” he told her as he dug into his own dish.

“Really, it wasn’t hard. And the chicken was bagged as two servings. It was just easier to cook it than to seal it up and put it back.” She took a sip of her soda and then looked at him. “When Jay planned this trip, why didn’t he want to come to the cabin?”

“You don’t know?” Jake asked and she shook her head. “His girlfriend doesn’t like the cabin. She likes a place where others wait on her and she doesn’t have to fend for herself. So, he had asked a couple of other buddies and they all agreed on the hotel.”

“Huh,” she said and shook her head. “I must be a totally different type of female because I’d rather stay at a cabin where it’s more private and cozy than in a hotel. I don’t care too much to have people waiting on me like that.”

“You aren’t different, you are unique,” he told her and she looked at him.

“Is unique some type of lame tease here?”

“No. It’s actually refreshing to have a female who isn’t so high maintenance. When Jay brought up this trip, I thought of the cabin too. Not that I don’t mind the hotel. And I was even going to ask him if I could stay here. But then you said you were and I figured you needed it more than I did.” She set her fork down and let out a breath. She did need it, more than being around people, even if they were friends she knew of her brothers. She just wasn’t expecting Jake to come in and blow all of her well-laid plans to pieces.

“I did. And I’m glad I’m not at the hotel. I like his girlfriend, she’s good for Jay, but she does tend to make me feel like a different female.” She ate more of her chicken before she paused again. “Are you sure I’m not odd?” Jake stopped eating and turned her chair to face him. And once her eyes locked with his, she struggled to remember her question. His hand came up to cup her cheek and he smiled, showing off that dimple and she melted.

“You aren’t odd, Rachel. Any man would be lucky to have you as his woman.” She felt his thumb run over her cheekbone as she kept staring into those hypnotic eyes of his eyes. And before she could stop it or pull back, his hand pulled her forward while his head descended and his lips captured hers, making her head spin in ways that couldn’t be good for either of them. But she didn’t care; she really couldn’t bring those feelings forward. Although, as he pulled back and once more his eyes locked with hers, she saw the hell burning in the depths of his eyes and knew that she should care, but she didn’t, she just wanted him to kiss her again.