Whiskey.
It was a small little town, spread out over a vast amount of land. However, the constant traffic and movement made it feel closed in and busy. People were actively moving around the streets, going in and out of buildings. All of them, just going about their day as if it was any other normal day. Little did they know there was danger hiding among them. I tried to blend in as much as I could, played myself off like a curious tourist. Though I think I stuck out like a sore thumb. I feel awkward around civilians. Their deluded sense freedom, and their complete obliviousness to the horrors of the world around them, it infuriates me. I don't want to be here any longer than I need to be. The longer I stay, the more risk there is of being noticed. And attention is not something I need. What I do need is a boat.
I made my way towards the water's edge. The buildings became more spread out and isolated the closer to the water I got. That worked to my advantage. Down by t
Whiskey. I closed my eyes and drifted off, only to relive the same dream that has taunted me all my life. --- She was back. Just like always. She stood before my small and beaten body, looking down at me. She looks just like me, or like I did a I child. Her mouth was moving as per usual. She was talking to me, but she didn’t make a sound. I strained my hearing trying to hear her words, but there was nothing. I stood up slowly, and as I rose, I grew. I went from being a small broken child to the strong woman I am today. The me in front of me changed as well. She grew as I did. I watched her body change, get taller and more womanly. I watched her face grow, chubby cheeks morphed to a slim face with big eyes. But when she stopped aging, she looked back at me and smiled. She moved her hands down and placed them over her swollen stomach. She was pregnant. I looked down at my own stomach, and I was pregnant. This had never happened before. How could I be pregnant.
Whiskey. As I laid on the ground, trying to regather my mind, I could hear shouting and more gunfire. I tried to lift my head, but each time I moved, my body screamed back in pain. Pain was something I am used to. I was able to shift myself so that I was sitting up, leaning against a large piece of concrete. I grabbed at the spot on my head that hit the ground. My warm blood was seeping down my face and getting into my eyes. I wiped it away and tried to peer through the blurriness and the pain. I followed the sounds of the shouting and was able to make out a few shapes. People shapes, but their attention wasn’t on me. I wiped away the fresh stream of blood and looked to where they were focussing. It was Saxton, or Saxton’s wolf. He had his jaws buried into the neck and shoulder of one of the hunters, he was shaking his head furiously as the man screamed in pain. The other men were lining up their guns and aiming at Saxton. A feeling of fear filled my entire being. In a split
Whiskey. I headed back to the top deck and peered out into the darkness. The air coming off the water was cold, I liked it. The icy freshness seeped into my skin, chilling my bones. My skin prickled with goosebumps and a shiver ran down my back. I love that feeling. It tickles at my dark frozen heart. I knew I was getting close, I could sense it. Perhaps an hour out now, maybe less. And just in time. Dark storm clouds were rolling across the sky, coming from the direction of the land. Hopefully, I can dock before they hit. The waves were bashing against the sides of the fishing boat, throwing it all around the place. The metal screamed under the pressure of the water. The land was right there, I could see it through the pouring rain, I just couldn’t manoeuvre the stupid boat through the storm to reach the shore. Fuck it. I collected my bag, shoving my clothes and shoes back inside it. I then put it, and the document case, into watertight plastic bag. With some extra
Whiskey. Saxton leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. The crowd moved back, creating a large circle in the middle of the hall. Dante removed his shirt and danced around the middle of the space, showing off to the crowd. I am really going to enjoy this. I do wonder what Saxton is trying to prove by having me fight his father. Perhaps it's just some kind of unresolved childhood vendetta thing. Lord knows I have enough of those. “Last chance to back out little girl” Dante teased, “No. I'm good” I said with a smile. This seemed to anger Dante more. He stretched out his arms and jumped up and down on the spot, warming his body. I stood facing him with my hands behind my back, waiting for him to advance first, which I know he will. He is going into this too cocky, he already thinks he has won. He'll be sloppy, and he will concentrate more on showing off for his comrades than he will on his movements. I can use that against him. Unsurprisingly, I
Zelena. Numb. That’s what I was now. Numb. Numb to the pain, numb to the fear, numb to the emptiness. I had nothing left. No emotions, no feelings, just deep dark nothing. The happiness that my memories were meant to evoke, was non-existent. The sadness that I thought his departure would cause me, was nowhere to be found. I had nothing. My lifeless body laid motionless on the bed. I don’t know what day it is, nor do I care. I don’t know how long it’s been since he left, nor do I know where he is. I just know that he isn’t here. And without him with me, there was nothing for me here. Hours turned to days and days turned to weeks. But in my mind, it was one long and unbroken patch of darkness. I was conscious to faces that appeared in the room around me. I could hear the low whispers of pleading and encouragement that accompanied them. But I had nothing. No motivation and no desire to be present. I didn’t want to be here without him. I wanted to close my eyes and leave this pl
Zelena. “It’s nearly time” was all he said. Time? Time for what? Before I got the chance to ask, the door opened and a set of heavy footsteps entered. Tobias growled a warning from behind my head. I forced open one of my eyes and looked at the person in the doorway. “Watch yourself guardian. Don't forget who I am to that girl” Lunaya growled back. She looked dishevelled and tired, but her eyes held a wildfire deep in the brown of her eye. She shifted her angry gaze from Tobias and down to me. Her face softened the moment our eyes connected. “Zelena” she huffed. “Lunaya” I croaked back. Her eyebrows shot up and she stared at me with wide eyes. “You’re talking again?” she said surprised. I didn’t answer her. There was nothing to say. She stood there unmoving, and I laid on my bed watching her. A second later, another searing pain shot down my back. I hissed again and jolted on the bed, colliding my back into Tobias’s chest. Lunaya jumped forward
Zelena. I looked to my mother-in-law, my two best friends, my guardian, and my mother. Then I lost any semblance of control I had left. I began to hyperventilate as the sobs racked my body. Tobias lifted my weeping body and crawled onto the bed behind me, he wrapped himself around me like a protective blanket. Lunaya took my hand and kissed my knuckles. Roe came over to the other side of the bed, took my other hand and held it to her chest. “I... can’t...” I forced out between sobs. “You can, sweet girl” Roe said encouragingly. “I need him” I cried. “I know baby. He'll be home soon” she said encouragingly. Another contraction came on, the intensity caught me off guard. The pressure, the pain, it’s indescribable. I breathed hard, trying to calm myself down. I've been so selfish. I've put my baby at risk, all because I wouldn’t face the heartache of Gunner’s departure. If something happens to my baby it will be all my fault. And then I will trul
Whiskey. The numb emptiness didn’t leave me, it faded somewhat, but I could still feel it. If I wasn’t so used to blocking myself off to pain and emotion, I would guess that it would frustrate me. But I actually kind of enjoyed it. The uncaring and unfeeling state of mine was freeing. I lost any guilt I had for what I had done over the past few years, however small that piece of guilt may have been. Though that slight sliver of doubt still lingered in the back of my mind. Always on repeat, eating inside my thoughts, ‘did I do the wrong thing?’ With this new hollow feeling, I could no longer see or feel that small slice of doubt. It was fantastic. All that aside, the fact that I still don’t know what has brought on or caused this new state of mind, it bugs me. I am determined to find out. And I will, I always do.