Pabor man sa akin na tinigilan na ako nila Cheska, hindi naman natigil ang mga pangungutya at masasamang tingin ng mga tao sa akin. Sa tuwing naglalakad ako sa hallway o quadrangle, tuwing bumibili ng pagkain sa canteen, their hawk eyes were always on me. Daig ko pa ang taong may nakakahawang sakit sa pandidiri nila sa akin.
Most of the time, I don’t care, but there would be times that my heart would ache in every reaction I could get from anyone. Hindi man lahat kilala ako o alam na ako ang dakilang biktima ng pambu-bully, wala rin naman silang pakialam sa akin.
I am in my eleventh year and all I ever wish is to finish it so I could go to college. I will raise myself without getting help from anyone, not even my aunt. I also plan on work
Pagkatapos naming kumain ay nagyaya na si Aesther na umuwi. Ayaw pa sana nina Sidhean pero wala na silang magawa. Ayaw ko rin namang hayaan umuwi mag-isa si Aesther. Lumabas kami at naglakad papuntang main road. Doon naghihintay ang driver ni Aesther. Pagdating namin sa intersection, kailangan naming maghiwalay dahil hindi kami parehas ng daan pauwi. “Ikaw ba Mav? Saan ka?” tanong ko kay Maverick. “Ah, doon din ang daan ko pauwi,” sagot niya na tinuro ang daan sa kabila na siyang dadaanan din nila Aesther. “Oh, eh sama ka na samin,” aya ni Aesther sa kanya.&nb
The next day was an awkward one for us. We just worked on our research and will only talk if we have questions for each other. I can say I am ashamed but I really felt better after crying. I looked at Sidhean in front of me who’s busy reading something on his laptop. He doesn’t seem to be awkward with me but maybe he is considerate enough not to mention anything for me not to be offended. I smiled realizing that he is a warm person after all. We are currently working on our qualitative research in his house. I met his mother when I arrived but she went out right after welcoming me. There’s just the two of us as of now excluding his two dogs. “Hey, do we include the effect of mobile game addiction to social health?”
The week started off in a hectic way. We prepared for the defense which we nailed later on, we got busy with workloads and academic activities such as choosing for the Supreme Student Government in which Maverick won as the president, and I realized I wasn’t myself the past few weeks. I have been guillible when I am with Sidhean but gets back to being consumed by anxieties when I am alone. And I hate it. I hate the idea of being emotionally dependent to anyone. I don’t like the anxiousness that I feel whenever I think that Sidhean will soon get tired of me and will eventually leave me. That’s why I finally decided. I will draw the line. I should bear in mind that he is just a friend and nothing more.
The next couple of days were silent for me. There’s no Sidhean nor Aesther present to talk to me. Aesther apologized for how she acted that day but we we’re not the same anymore. It feels like there’s already a crack between us. Our relationship is already damaged. She would only talk to me if she needs anything and there would always be an awkward atmosphere between us. As for Sidhean, he did keep a safe distance from me. But once in a while, he would still put a box of milk in my desk without saying anything. I can’t blame him, though. This is what I want, thus, I should expect this happening. Aesther keeps talking to him and I guess they already formed a bond since I can sometimes see them giggling.&
Kinabukasan, naging mabuti naman ang pakiramdam ko. May nararamdaman pa rin akong kirot sa paa ko pero hindi na gaanong masakit. Pinilit ko kasi talagang huwag itong igalaw kagabi at naka-elevate lang ito buong magdamag. Mabagal akong kumilos para maghanda sa pagpasok sa Morning Dew. When I finished, I went there. “Good Morning po,” bati ko kay Kuya Ian nang pumasok ako. “Oh, anong nangyari sa paa mo?” tanong niya nang makitang paik-ika ang lakad ko. “Ah, ito? Wala kuya, natapilok lang ako kagabi,” sagot ko sa kanya.&n
The preparation for the acquaintance party went on. I’ve finalized my accompaniment for the song I am preparing. The party is in two days and almost all of the students are excited. We are given ample time to prepare for the event, thus, they opted not to have discussions for the mean time. Habang naglalakad ako sa hallway, kakaunti lang ang nakikita kong tao. Halos lahat ay nasa mga malls at mga botiques para mamili ng kani-kanilang mga damit. Speaking of dress, I don’t know what to wear actually. I’m contemplating if I should wear the dress Aesther gave me. Yes, she already gave it to me so technically that was mine, but thinking about our recent situation, I am not sure if she wants to see me wear it. I stopped on my tracks when I a
Loud music coming out of the human sized speakers filled the whole function hall. The whole area is covered with shades of black, silver and gold colors making it look so elegant. The students dressed in elegant and expensive clothes are inrecognizable with the variety of masks that’s covering the upper half of their faces. But the happy smiles from their lips are very evident which proves their excitement for this event. “You’re here!” I was startled when someone approached me and found out that it was Maverick. I almost can’t recognize him if not because of his voice. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Huh? Ah- I-I’m quite nervous,” I answered looking down. True to my words, I am actually nervous for my perform
Maverick led me out of the function hall and we sat in a bench near the garden. I was still stunned with what he said but he seemed to be nonchalant with it. “Why did you say it?” I asked him without looking at him. I can feel him looking at me and sighed deeply. He then got a water bottle, opened it, and gave it to me. I took it and stared at him. He was a bit flustered, so he looked away and cleared his throat. “Before you get mad at me, I just want to tell you that I said it to clear your name from Lalaine,” he calmly explained. “So