A Secret and Victory

*Ana*

“Hmm?” I look up from my desk. But Hidi is busy. She didn’t say anything.

No, I swear I heard it. I look around again. But it’s absurd, and I know it. Nicoli is miles and miles away.

And auditory hallucination, perhaps? I consider it. I’ve read about those.

I sit back and peer out the window to see the gray sky. The clouds are heavy with snow, but it will never fall. Snow never finds Nochten.

I used to wish for snow. The thought makes me smile sadly. Back then, when I was alone and the afternoons were too hot, I would look at some illustrations and wonder what snow was like.

That was before Maddie, I remember, and I pinch my shawl. Even now, thinking about her makes me feel mixed. Should I condemn Maddie? Or should I thank her?

Because without her, would I be where I am?

“Ana?” Hidi smiles after me; she always smiles so quickly, as if it's nothing. “What are you doing staring off like that?”

“I, it’s nothing,” I motioned for her to sit back down. “I thought I heard my nam