I came downstairs to find my dad sitting in his usual chair in front of the TV.
"What do you want for dinner tonight?" He asked as I took a seat on the nearby couch.
"You didn't plan anything?" I teased. I knew he wouldn't have planned dinner for us without my opinion.
My dad was a simple guy. If it were up to him, he would live off of frozen pizza, microwave meals, and cheddar ruffle chips. Earlier when I mentioned having home cooked meals, that's only when I was home to cook for him.
"Well, I went grocery shopping earlier, but I'm not sure if you have anything to make; why don't you take a look in the kitchen? We could do steaks, or tacos, or I don't know, maybe spaghetti if I have it?"
I chuckled at his random options, "Let's do steaks; I haven't had one in forever and that way you can grill while I make whatever sides I can find."
He agreed with my suggestion and I sat down beside him on the couch, watching the football game that he had on in comfortable silence. I wasn't a huge diehard football fan or anything, but I understood the game and would watch with my dad whenever I was home. I knew he enjoyed my company, even if I didn't share in his hysterical ranting after a loss of a team that I knew nothing about.
After finishing up watching the game, we both took to the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of Chardonnay from the cheap box of Franzia my dad kept in the fridge for my visits. It wasn't my favorite by any means, in fact, I preferred red, but it keeps well and I never would decline free wine. Besides, I would never have the heart to tell my dad that it wasn't my favorite, because at this point, he'd been buying it for me for years thinking that it was.
As I rounded the corner of our kitchen island, my socks slid across the tile, causing me to flail my arms to keep from falling. Some of my wine was tossed into the air and landed with a splat on the floor as I gripped the counter with my other hand to steady myself.
My dad was nearby, and although he reached a hand out to me, he really didn't help. He just chuckled as he regarded me. "First day on the new feet, Emmy?"
"Ha ha. Just slippery socks I guess," I explained, trying to calm my heart beat after almost eating shit. "There's a spill here now, though. Watch out dad, let me clean it up."
He just shook his head. "Oh, I've missed having you here. You just wouldn't be you if you didn't slip, trip, break, or spill something at least once."
I smiled up at him while I used my foot to move my wad of paper towel over my spilled wine. "Just you wait. I haven't even started cooking yet."
********
Cooking actually went well for me; as I said before, I did know my way around the kitchen. As my dad prepped the grill, I made us caesar salad, homemade mashed potatoes, and sautéed mushrooms and onions.
I never ate like this back at college. Mel and I were on a college student's budget, so we pretty much lived on microwave stir-fry, frozen pizzas, and the occasional take-out. So, needless to say, I was very excited to have a nice meal with my dad, but I knew today always had a sad looming cloud.
I wasn't sure if I should bring up the accident at dinner or leave it alone. My dad was a man of few words anyway, so I wasn't sure if he'd want to talk about his feelings at all. Either way, I came home to be with him today to hopefully help us both cope with our past as well as celebrate the incredible life force that was my mother.
I made my dad another Bacardi Coke and set the table while my thoughts wandered. I took another sip of my now refilled glass of wine and set it on the table next to our water glasses. My timing was perfect, because just as I put the last dish on the table, my dad came in with our steaks.
"Wow, those look great, dad!" I complimented as he set the tray down in the middle of the table.
"Thanks, Emmy; You like yours medium rare, right?" He asked, although I couldn't help but think he probably should have asked this before taking them off the grill.
"Yes. They look perfect," I reassured.
We both sat down at the table, dishing ourselves up and then starting to eat in silence. Again, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. My mom and sister were both always the talkative two in the family, whereas my dad and I were, for the most part, content with just sitting back and enjoying the company. I was a lot like my dad in our mannerisms, despite my striking physical resemblance to my mother.
"This is really good. Thanks for coming home," my dad finally spoke, breaking the silence.
"Of course dad. I'm glad I came back," I responded.
"It is a Friday night, though. Did you have any big plans back at college for tonight?" He pressed.
I nodded thinking about the party that Mel was talking about. I mean, of course I wanted to go, but family always came first in my eyes, especially now that it was just my dad and I. "Yeah; I mean, there were some options, but I'd rather be here today."
He nodded his head, not adding anything further to the conversation. I was curious about him though and how he was doing, so after finishing off my second glass of wine, I figured I'd just come out with it. "So, how are you doing dad, really?"
"I've been doing okay. You don't need to worry about me," he replied, taking a sip of his drink.
"I just... I can't help it, dad. I do worry about you," I admitted.
He cocked an eyebrow at me, "How so? Do I not seem like I'm doing okay?"
Here we go. My dad and I liked to keep things light, and it was very rare that we had very deep talks. It has, however, happened before, and by the look on my dad's face, I had a feeling we were going to have one of our rare "heart to heart" moments. "I think you seem okay; but truthfully, I think you seem very lonely. Today's mom's birthday, and I know that takes an extra toll on you just as it does for me."
He let out a sigh, "I... I do miss her, Em. I miss your mother and Addy every single day. But, I have you, which is something I think about often. You survived, and the light that you carry with you reminds me of how lucky I am to not have lost you all."
I wanted to tear up at his words. I was in the car when the accident happened, but I didn't often think of how it must have been for my dad; getting a call saying that his entire family was in the hospital and may not make it. I couldn't imagine getting news like that over the phone.
"I know; I'm grateful to have you too. But, you know... it has been years. I just don't want you to be so lonely when I'm away at college. I guess I just want you to know, at least from my end, that I would support you if you ever wanted to get back out there," I encouraged. I knew nobody would replace my mom or take away from what my parents had, but it broke my heart to think of my dad sitting alone day after day in this house.
"I don't know..." he hesitated.
"Don't you think mom would want you to move on and be happy?" I pressed.
"Of course she would. And maybe one day, I will start looking again, but I'm okay; I promise," he said placing a palm over mine.
"If you're sure," I said, not meeting his gaze.
He sighed, "It's my job as your dad to worry about you. Please, don't spend your life worrying about me too. Do I miss your mom and sister? Absolutely. I always will. Am I going to be okay? Yes. I will be."
This time I met his eyes. I knew he would be okay eventually; I just hoped he would heal sooner rather than later. I shot him a small smile before we both continued on with our dinner. We fell back into our comfortable silence as we ate, occasionally commenting on the food or what we were gonna do with the rest of our night.
After dinner, I cleaned up as my dad went to the living room, scrolling through different movie options. I couldn't help but notice that his drink was refilled yet again, but decided not to comment on it due to the circumstances. I knew sometimes on days like today my dad would drink too much, but how could I judge? He had been through a lot, and I knew he used it as a coping mechanism on the particularly tough days. I brought it up to him once after a particularly heavy night of drinking, and I swear that was the first time my dad ever yelled at me.
After that, I swore I'd never bring it up again. He was just in too much pain, and until I saw a real problem with his drinking, I wouldn't try and step in again. His drinking was another reason I came home on the hard days, though; at least this way, I'd be here to take care of him if he drank too much.
After cleaning, we both sat in silence, watching Star Trek, one of my dad's favorites, until he eventually passed out on the couch. I took his drink from his hands, dumping the rest out and replacing it with water before waking him up and helping him to his bed.
"I'm sorry I drank so much," he said as I set his water down onto his nightstand.
"It's okay. Just get some sleep, and I'll see you in the morning," I reassured.
He grabbed my arm, giving it a small squeeze as I started to leave the room. "I am grateful that you came home to spend her birthday with me. Really Em, sometimes I don't know what I would do without you."
"You're welcome, dad. I love you," I said, placing a kiss on his forehead.
"Love you too."
********
I scrolled through my phone trying to see if I had any texts from Mel who was at the party, but considering it was only 9:30 PM, I figured it may still be too early for that. I didn't mind going to bed early anyway when I was home. I had a nice dinner with my dad, and despite the fact he had too much to drink, I thought it was a lovely evening.
I thought to myself for a while, deciding to spend one more day with my dad, and just as I was about to fall asleep, I said goodnight to my family, who I knew would always be with me.
"Happy Birthday mom; I love and miss you everyday. Goodnight to you and goodnight Addy. I wish you guys were here."
I woke up the next morning to several drunk texts from Mel, and a few from Landon.Mel: Omg Emmmm! Landon jus ask about you. He thinks you're smokin.Mel: Henry just hit on me! should I go for it? I think I'm gonna go for it.Mel: I went for it! Thanks for the support! Wish you wereMel: Srry. I hit send lol oooop I drunk. I wish you were here. Say hi to your dad for me!Landon: Hey beautiful. Miss you tonight.Landon: Hi boo... let's get drinks tomorrow?I sighed, setting my phone down beside me. I wanted to attend the party, I did, but I just couldn't leave my dad yesterday. As I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, I wasn't so sure I wanted to leave him tonight either.Although it's been years, and we were both okay, last nights conversation was difficult. I could see how broken up my dad still was— not that I blamed him. It was hard enough for me losing a mother and sister. I couldn't imagine finding a love like my parents had, and then losing that one person who made you whole. No
After the police, firemen, and paramedics arrived at the scene, I was gently pulled from my car and placed on a gurney as they loaded me into an ambulance. I stayed alert throughout the process, but the feeling of the accident and the sensation of being loaded into an ambulance was all too familiar to me, as images of my past accident flashed in my mind. Panicked, and after a final request to call my dad, I somehow lost consciousness before making it to the hospital. When I finally woke up, I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but I was in a hospital bed with my arm now in a sling and a thick bandage over my shoulder. My dad was in the room, but he was chatting with an officer and another man off in the corner. The officer wasn't doing much of the talking, but the man next to him was holding something in his hands that looked to be an FBI badge. He was a very large man--muscular and definitely above 6' as he was much taller than my dad. He was dark skinned, bald, and looked to be
“Hello, I'm Jaxon," my bodyguard spoke; it was here that I realized he was probably around my age or maybe just a few years older. "Mr. Starr, I heard your concerns, but I just want to assure you that I am very good at what I do. I will keep Emery safe." I was mesmerized by the sound of his voice. It was so velvety smooth and yet so masculine; definitely a voice that demanded attention. He sounded very convincing when he spoke, and I almost felt safer just with him being in the room. Almost."Thank you. I appreciate that. I don't mean for this to come across as rude, but... aren't you a little young to be a professional bodyguard?" The corners of Jaxon's full lips twitched as if he was expecting this question. "Well yes, I am young; I have to be in order blend into the college where Emery will be placed. Chief will explain all of that in a minute; but once again, I assure you, I've had all the required training." "Jax is one of the best. He was top of his class, and as my adopted s
Almost 5 hours had passed since Jaxon and I left the station, and I already felt like it had been an eon. I shifted in my seat, crossing my legs and hugging my arms tight to my chest for comfort and warmth. "You okay?" Jaxon asked, turning the radio down a few notches. This was the first thing he said to me since we left; I must not have moved much until now. Although his question was nice, it seemed he was trying to keep me at a distance; like he asked more for common curtesy rather than legitimate concern. But to answer his question, no. I was in no way okay. My arm was throbbing from the gun shot, I had whiplash starting to kick in from the car flipping, and I was freezing from the inside out. But, the absolute worst part, was knowing that everything was about to change, and knowing that my poor father was left behind, on his own, to sell my death to everyone. So no... not okay, Jaxon. "Emery?" He asked again while still remaining focused on the road. This time though, I did c
My heart was pounding. I found myself trying to be impossibly closer to Jaxon as we walked, longing to touch him for a sense of security. I hated feeling so vulnerable and weak, but Jaxon did have a way of making me feel safe; even though he wasn't Mr. Sunshine. With a big, muscular frame and chiseled features, a person would need to be crazy to try and fuck with him."Stay close and act normal," he commanded while opening the door. We were instantly hit with a cool breeze from the air conditioning being sucked outside. I nodded in response, my whole body shuddering once again as it adjusted to the new temperature. He frowned at me before shrugging out of his black leather jacket. "Here. Put this on." I quickly accepted it and tried to thank him, but he was already turned away from me and walking towards the front desk. I quickly put on the jacket and hugged it tight to my body as I followed him, a waft of cologne hitting my nose.The receptionist was very pretty and not what I expe
After my shower, I made quick work of getting dressed and crawling into bed. Jaxon and I only exchanged a few words, and he hadn't looked at me even once since I was out of the bathroom. He had the TV on and asked if I had a channel preference, which I politely declined. I knew I wouldn't be awake long anyway once I was tucked into the firm hotel bed. Sure enough, I fell asleep within moments despite the fact that I had a lot to process. My brain and body were just completely drained at this point. However, because of everything that happened, my subconscious was on overdrive, and it made for some horrifying dreams. I don't remember the specifics of the dream, but next thing I knew, I was being woken up by Jaxon. He had his hands placed gently on my uninjured arm, shaking me slightly as I came to. I was surprised to find I had only been asleep for about an hour and that tears were still streaming down my face as my body trembled. Honestly, I was amazed I even had any tears left in
I must have fallen asleep again in the car; I wasn't sure for how long, but boy was my dream intense. When my eyes finally fluttered open, all I saw was a man's face hovering in front of me. Since my dream was so incredibly violent and I had been in such a deep sleep, I couldn't register what was happening, or that the man I was looking at was Jaxon and not an attacker/shooter.Without thinking, I struck out with my good arm and kicked my legs, fighting off my assailant.The man caught my fist as it flew, but the momentum sent me tumbling sideways out of the vehicle until I was seized around my waist."Woah woah! Emery, it's me!" Jaxon called as he caught me and held me to his body to stop me from fighting. He held on tight while I was eased from the car and placed gently onto the ground.Immediately, I snapped back into reality and let my body sink into his large, sturdy frame. "Jaxon? Oh god... I am so sorry! Did I hurt you?"I felt Jaxon chuckle slightly as he steadied me on my fe
After Laurie took my measurements for new clothes and took my photo for my new ID, she lead me through a series of hallways until we arrived at a different room. She opened the door to reveal a small, plain room where Jaxon was seated, going over what looked to be blueprints with another man— Cal, I assumed."Jaxon, she's ready for you," Laurie announced. He and Cal immediately turned to look at me, and I suddenly felt self-conscious. I was about to reach out and stroke my hair out of nervous habit, but stopped when I realized I no longer had the length that I used to."Wow... nice job, Laurie," Jaxon stated. My heart was pounding. He had complimented Laurie, but did that mean he thinks I look nice? I willed my face to stay neutral as I approached the table. "Did you look at your file?" Jaxon asked me before I had time to overthink his comment. I nodded in response, feeling nervous for some reason about finding my voice. Something about the small, bland space was oddly off-puttin