JINX'S POV
"Please, marry your fiancee. Stop loving me... Your feelings towards me is just... is just useless..."
That remarks from the woman I love is like a pointed knife keeps on tugging my chest through my heart. It hurts a lot. It was like breaking me. It was like I am slowly falling down and the time I touch the floor, I will be nothing but a debris alone.
I should have told her the truth before I confess my feelings towards her so it wouldn't be so much hard like the current. I should have told her that I have a fiancee and I am willing to cancel the marriage for her. I should have told her before she get hurt. But fuck this Cowardliness.
I was about to... but I thought that she might push me away and hate me.
It was all my fault...
"Jinx, do your job correctly," said mom. But I was too preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn't bother to look at her. "It's over! Don't be too much driven by that Astra! You have Jane, okay? She is bett
JINX'S POVIt was like I am lost.I cannot find myself anymore. I don't know where to seek the old self when I am with the woman I love. I only feel like I am complete when I am around with my significant other.And now that I am alone, I lost reason to live.I do not know anymore what my purpose is and why I decided to continue to live.I lost everything and my happiness fades away. I did continue living to just accept the fact that happiness don't last long. That life is full of challenges and struggles that everyone should pass through.Cold breeze hit my skin as I sat on a Bermuda grass. I then roamed my eyes around the city lights. I forced a smile. I was already viewing the quite huge city and I hope. I just hope that she was there...That she was in the inside of one of the house or unit.If she does not
"Wow, so fast, bro."I just smiled at Jane as she made fun of me for coming to the rendezvous early. I often come late when she invites me for a meet up. And now, it really look different because I look so eager.I did not know what will be her important thing to say but I guess it is kind of a good news. My system just automatically get excites for no valid reason.I sat in front of her with the round table between us. We were here in a well known restaurant. I asked Jane's order and so we choose nice food that will satisfies us.I tilted my head to her while we were waiting for our order to arrive. It will took minutes, tho. "So, what will be the important thing you will say to me?"She chuckled. "Really? As fast as that? I did not know that you are now interested to what would I say."I slightly rolled my eyes. "Just spill it.""Bro, y
ASTRALLAINE'S POV"Are you good?"I looked up at Simon when he put bowl of food in the center of the table. He invited me to have dinner with him in a restaurant that was near our place."Yes," I smiled at him. I just said that because I do not want to talk more about the past. I am done with it. I am already over with it. The things that has happened in the past should never be brought up back.I do not want to remember how I ran away just to get away from the pain that is already trying to kill me. I do not have enough money to go away, but Simon helped me."Where do you want to go?" Simon asked while I am heaving. I cannot even breathe normally because of the nervousness creeping my whole system."I... I don't know," I said and looked down. "I just want to get away from here."He pat my shoulders. "Go with me."I l
ASTRALLAINE'S POV"Congrats, Astra!"I laughed when Simon embraced me with so much joy. "Thanks, man." I tap his shoulders, motioning him to let me go already which he did quickly. "Congrats also."We will be going to celebrate for making the deal successful with our client. We really have planned and practiced more for our presentation because our client was a big time business man and we cannot lose the opportunity to make deal with him."Let's go. I will treat you," he said."Maybe later? I am sleepy," I pouted that made him to chuckle. Then, he tousled my hair."Alright, let's go out later. Rest first. Maybe I will just fetch you at what time?"I looked up to think. "Maybe at seven."He just nodded his head and went off. I entered my room and lied on my bed so I could relax. I did not get enough sleep these past f
ASTRALLAINE'S POVDo you know the feeling that you are just going with the flow and still decided to live even if the world is too cruel and unfair to you?The feeling that the past days were alright, but you will woke up numb and with hurtful realizations that will slap you hard. That you are in a reality. That your life is not a fiction.I stared at nothingness and could not help but think why do I lose reasons to live. Yes, my life is fine now. But I do feel like something is missing. That I can feel that I am lacking of something that I cannot even explain. A big chapter of my life, or even a climax to reach my ending, yet, I do not know what it really is. I couldn't define it.Yeah, I am already doing so fine. I have my job. My life is stable, but life could not just be perfect for us to be happy.Everything is not perfect.I sipped on the glass of my water and sighed
After asking the council about the address of my family, I went off to head the place they tell me. It is a very good thing that they have their address, because if not, I will struggle looking for them in just half of a day. I should not stay long because I will goo back to my home as soon as possible.But if I will took long, I will cancel all of my appointments and meetings and move it the next day. This is about my family and they matter the most. Yes, it has been so many years but my love for them never left me. Even if I don't feel them anymore, my heart still wants to be with them. I longed for them.I bit my lower lip as the map says that I am already near their place. I am nervous and excited at the same time. What will be my reaction once my eye gazes at them, anyway? Should I jump in so much joy and ran to them to embrace them? Or, should I cry? Tears of joy? Oh, the latter was so hilarious.I wonder how they
"Have a snack."I forced a smile at Faye. "Thank you."Since I do not have the appetite to have a snack, I just get the water and drink it. My sisters were here already because Faye called them to go down. I miss them. I automatically embraced them while crying. I cried because of joy that finally, I saw them again. And the other reason of my tears is the thought of my mother passing away.I did not expect it. She has died three years ago but the news did not even reach to me? Why is that? Does Simon know this? If he does, why did not he tell it to me?"How are you?" I asked my sister's and looked at them. They were silent and was like shy to look at me."We were fine, Astra. We should ask you that. How are you? Are you doing alright? Where do you even live?" Faye faced me. I sighed and shook my head. They see, I am fine. I am asking them because they live here with no parents.
Upon arriving home, I did not stop the car right in front of the gate of the house because I still saw the car where Jinx went out lately. Faye said that he already left! But why is his car is still there and parking? Is Jinx was inside the house together with my sisters?I sighed heavily. Why am I even trying to avoid that man? That I am afraid that he might saw me again for the first time in years?Why do I still have this feeling that I do not have the guts to face Jinx again? To show myself to him? To look at his face? To look at him in the eye?The mere thought of myself standing in front of him is like making me weak. Like, I came back to my old self where I have nothing but him alone?It feel nostalgic.I shook my head. Why am I still staying here? Do I have plans to lock myself here in my car? To stay here all the time and will just wait for Jinx to get out and go off the