I've always loved music, especially live music from all new artists. They bring something unique to the table and there's always a story to be told.
Like right now, as I listen to each artist that comes up on stage, giving us a piece of themselves. James had suggested we go out and in my mind, I'd initially thought he meant the club but no, he picked one of our old spots. Ben's grill.
Ben's grill was a hang out place for high schoolers, though it intended to just be a bar , it proved more then that when more people loved the food more then anything, soon we had live music and whola. Open Mic.
So here we are, open mic at play and me just having a nice time out with my friends. More so my family.
When Theresa and the guys claimed me as part of their family, joy took over my heart. I had people who cared about me so much after losing so much. Growing up it's always been my mom and I, and having her gone had hit me quite hard. So when I got married, I hadn't expected much, guess I was still in the numb stages. As time went on, my heart opened up and it attached itself to Keith, reaching out for his and it still is.
Anyway, I'd always been so focused on Keith that my heart had blocked everyone else, but here I am. My heart has opened up enough space for all these three amazing people, who opened their arms for me. I'm grateful to have them in my life and that once Keith is out of my life, I have people ready to pick me up when I fall, comfort when I need it, love big enough to fill the void of not having an actual relative in my life and friendship, when it had been short in my life.
I'm blessed really, that's why an easy smile just takes over, as I watch my friends dancing on the dance floor, having fun and laughing wholeheartedly, with no weight on their shoulders.
I watch with a smile as London returns back to the table." So when will you join us on the dance floor?" He plops down on the next seat.
" I told you, not much of a dancer and besides, I don't mind watching you guys."
"Come on, anyone can bust a move or two." He says, shaking his shoulders, rising to his feet and coming over to pull me up on my own.
" London - " I try protest but he's already pulling me towards the dance floor.
" Good thing you got her here, or else I would have thrown her over my shoulder and brought her here myself." James says, moving along with Theresa, to the beat of the song.
My jaw drops.
"He's kidding." London says in my ear before he pulls me to him, his hands landing on my waist, having me tense up for a second before I remind myself that this is London, my friend.
I loosen up with that thought, placing my arms around his shoulders as we move along to the now slow song.
" You okay?" He asks and I nod.
" Yes" More than okay.
" I have to say, I had a good time tonight. " I say as we enter into our apartment complex, after trying to dodge the hard rain outside.
" Yeah me too, but I'm beat. I need the bed asap." Theresa says, yawning in the process.
"Yeah, I've got an early morning tomorrow." London groans out, swinging his car keys between his fingers.
" Akiandra!" I stop in my tracks at the sound of my name being called.
Joe, my soon to be ex driver stands at the bottom of the stairs, looking rather wet.
" Akiandra you must come with me. " He says, his voice sounding urgent, his eyes troubled.
"Whoa who are you and what do you want from Kea?" James says, walking down the stairs and blocking Joe's way.
" It's okay James, he's my driver, well my soon to be ex driver. "
"You sure you trust him?" James asks, not moving.
" James " I sigh.
" No , I need to know if you do. Give me your word."
" Yes I trust him, now move will you." James gives Joe a once over before stepping aside. Gosh he can be dramatic.
" Sorry to show up unannounced like this but - "
" What's wrong?" I ask stepping towards him.
" It's Mr Salvatore, he's not looking good." He sighs.
" Keith? - What's wrong with him?" I frown in question.
" He's been out on the rain for too long and now - he doesn't look too well." Oh that stubborn man.
" Call a doctor then." James says.
" Yeah, if you think she'll rock up there after he hurt her, then think again." Theresa adds.
" I figured, but he refuses one and has been mumbling your name." My heart jumps at that.
" Where's he now?" I ask.
" Oh no, don't even think about it." James says, coming over to me, only for me to step down further.
" Back at the house."
" Okay then, take me please. " I tell Joe, who nods and starts leading the way.
" Kea." Theresa calls me, tugging at my arm.
" Thank you for a wonderful night but I have to go."
" Kea you can't keep running when ever anything concerns him." James adds.
" He's my husband, so I have to go." I say.
"Let her go. She needs to." London speaks up for the first time, his eyes laid on me.
I thank him with my eyes before rushing after Joe, who waits with an umbrella by the door.
" Ready?" He asks and I nod.
"Yes."
It seems like just yesterday when I arrived in the mansion as a married woman, now here I am, on the process of a divorce , rushing to attend to my sick, soon to be ex husband. How crazy is that?
I can't forget that he hurt me today, his hurtful words piercing through my heart and making me cry once again. It's the matter of the heart, he consumes me, my every being and I can't stop my heart from beating for him. That's why I'm here now, back to where I'd sworn to never return, rushing to get to him , wanting to attend to him.
" Akiandra?" My head snaps to Joe.
" Are you okay, you've been staring at the house for quite some time now." Joe tells me ,making me aware of my actions.
" Yes, I'm okay." I nod. " Let's go" I tell him, getting out of the car and rushing inside the house and up the stairs.
I feel Joe behind me, but I continue on.
" Oh my gosh, Akiandra - you're here. " Maria gasps in surprise, hand against her chest as she stands at the slightly opened door.
" Yes, is he in there? " I don't know why I even ask, it's a given. I mean it's his room but I believe it's because I'm afraid to enter and see him.
Things didn't end on a good note between us and his words keep on pushing at mind, making me reluctant to enter.
"Yes he is, he's asleep now." I nod, my eyes on the door.
Why can't I go in? This is so frustrating, my feet can't move.
I almost jump out of my skin when I feel a hand placed on my shoulder, I look away from the door and at the hand, my eyes trailing to the owner. Joe.
" I shouldn't have brought you here." He says, concern in his eyes.
My mouth opens and closes, wanting to tell him it's okay but no words come out. What is wrong with me?
Someone takes my hands in theirs. Maria.
" Sweet girl, your heart is troubled. I can see it in your eyes. "
My eyes droop low, not having the courage to admit it.
" It's okay. " I look at her again." It's okay to not want to go in there, it's okay to want to. It's okay. Your choice, it's your choice. Do what you want, no, what your heart needs." She tells me before patting my hands and walking past me, followed by Joe who gives my shoulder a single squeeze, leaving me alone.
I stare at the door, taking deep breaths and searching deep within me for the answer. I step forward, where my palm and head rests against the door. I close my eyes for a moment, wanting this moment alone to think, without any voice of influence.
This is on me now.
My heart beats hard against my chest as I step in, the silence so loud and heavy on me while I await for just about anything to happen, yet nothing does.Closing the door quietly, I step in further, only to stop in my tracks at the sight of him laying soundly . Why am I here?As if in immediate answer, my feet move on their own, leading me to him where I get a better look. He doesn't look too good, he's sweating.Natural instinct takes over and I reach to the nightstand, grabbing an already wet cloth and placing it on his forehead as I sit on his side, being careful to not wake him." Kea." I think he murmurs but I'm not sure.Leaning close to hear, like I thought, he is calling my name." I'm here." I whisper out, cooling his face with the wet cloth, not wanting his temperature to increase.Without another word, I attend to his needs, letting my heart take ov
" Akiandra Salvatore are you listening to me?" Theresa says on the other line." Yes I am." I tell her.I can't believe he actually invited me to eat with him tonight, that has only ever happened once before I knew he wanted to divorce me.A lump forms in my throat at the word divorce. Gosh I'm an emotional wreck these days, what's wrong with me?" You're not listening are you?" Theresa's voice breaks me out of my thoughts." I'm sorry Theresa, what were you saying?" I ask, now paying attention." Are you seriously moving back there?" She asks me." No, I'm just staying here for a few days until he's absolutely better."" And by better you mean until he goes back to yelling and ignoring you, as if you aren't his wife." My chest clenches at her words." Theresa I just want him to feel better and right after, I'll be gone
I've been avoiding him today, I remained locked in my room, I mean room. It's no more mine anymore. I couldn't face him after last night.I might have left him with parting words but a part of me feels bad, it isn't by choice that his heart chose someone else. I love him, I do but I can't force him to see me in a certain way or reciprocate my love, it wouldn't be fair to the both of us, because at the end of the day he'd be kept away from his true love and I'd be left heartbroken.A bigger part of me feels relieved that I voiced out something. I don't like when he shouts or yells at me, it hurts my feelings and makes me feel small. It hurts more when the person you love does something like that to you.I couldn't control my mouth and sure had to release something, it might have been a mistake but right now, I'll stand by what I said."Sweet girl, I was about to come up there and force feed you. Don't sc
" Akiandra. Kea come on, wake up. " I hear someone say from a distance as I'm shaken awake, but I don't want to." Kea, goddammit wake up!" Keith? Since when does he wake me up?" Kea?!" Again I'm shaken awake and this time I hear shuffling." Why's she not waking up?" Is that Maria sobbing, why's she crying?" Kea please." No this is all wrong, Keith wouldn't say please.The shaking continues , totally irritating me." S-stop," I murmur . Wanting the person to stop." Wait, Kea talk to me." Keith says close." S-stop, I want to sleep. " I try push the person away, only to push on air.Soon I hear a chuckle and a sigh." Oh thank God." Maria breathes out of relief, I detect." She's fine -she's okay." Keith says beside me and I feel hands touch my face, moving hair away from my face. Th
We stare at each other. That's what we've been doing as minutes passed by." Akiandra what is this?" He steps into the room, closing the door behind him." Just as you can see, I'm giving you, your life back. "I watch his head drop down, hands on his hips. He bites at his lips and nods his head before looking up at me again." We are still married.""Not for long" I quickly say, cutting him off." Is this about yesterday because I - " He stops short of his words.He can't do it." You don't have to strain yourself or force yourself even, to say it. You can't apologise, it's not you, it's not in you to do so and you know what? - I've made peace with that." I take a breath before turning away from him and taking my bag in hand." I've made peace with a lot of things, handled a lot of things and still I stood. But last night was a different
" Come on, you have to do it sometime today." I say, palm against my cheek." Urgh I can't." He throws his hand up in defeat, slumping against his chair and glaring at the piece of vanilla cake in front of him.I bet he wasn't exaggerating when he said, it makes him uncomfortable and takes him back to that time." You know you'll never conquer your fears if you don't try," I say." It's just staring at me." He shudders." You know what, I've got this." He suddenly perks up, taking the small plate in hand.I sit up straight, hoping that he's about to take at least a bite, only for him to change direction and throw the cake away." What are you doing?" I ask in disbelief." I couldn't do it, it had to go." He says, sighing in relief."O.kay, would you like chocolate cake then?" I pull out the piece of gooey chocolate cake out of the fridge, p
Right after Keith had left, I found my body moving on it's own. I was busting some serious moves and squealing with joy, a permanent smile remaining on my face till I laid in bed.How long I'd awaited an apology. The day had filled with a new norm for myself, only for things to take a turn when he just rocked up on my doorstep.What had caused a change of heart or even changed the way he viewed things. Such questions stay locked at the back of my head, not wanting anything to mess up the wonderful moment I feel.In the two years of my marriage , such an act of him on his knees, pleading for forgiveness and asking for my friendship has never happened.The moment those words left his lips, I swear my heart stopped. Giddy, that's how I feel, to have a much closer look at his life, being led into his thoughts, dreams and all. I don't even know what could be more worth it, then getting to k
I wait patiently for Keith to show up. We'd made plans to go watch a movie tonight and I must say , I'm looking forward to it.We'd texted back and forth in the afternoon, and he'd suggested that we go out for a movie tonight. Now here I am, still waiting for him. I know that he's a bit late and I have no doubt he might be tied up at work. I just hope he'll be able to make it because if hedoesn't, no doubt I'll be a little disappointed but I'll still understand. He is a busy man.A knock on the door has me jumping up and rushing to the door. My smile wavers a bit when Keith is not the one on my doorstep but it's Theresa." Theresa hey." I fix myself and a genuine smile makes it's way onto my face, though a bit disappointed but still happy to see my friend." I saw that, you were expecting someone else weren't you?" Right to the point.How does she do tha