CAMILA SILVA My buttocks hurt, it feels like they are going to explode at any moment. The middle of my legs, especially, is pure fire. Not in a good way similar to this past dawn, but something burning after an intense night. A good night, the pleasure I felt was something surreal. Such intense orgasms, the way only Ethan Salvatore can give me. He is an asshole, with all the letters of that word and all capital letters. But an asshole who knows how to fuck me like no one else, who knows where to touch me, how to pleasure me.I have to be honest, I missed these moments of ours. I missed the pleasure I feel with him. I missed sex with Ethan.Wait, recap. I went to bed with Ethan?I turn my body to the side, feeling the strong, intense hand that held my waist intensify its grip. Even with a little bit of fear, I open my eyes and find his face calm and serene, sleeping soundly after the early night we had.Not that one, we had an early night.It takes me no less than a few seconds to re
ONE MONTH LATEREthan Salvatore.I let out a yellow smile, spilling the soda down my throat. To accompany this song, the most recommended would be a good glass of whiskey, well describing the situation I am going through.Everyone sees how much I have improved, how much I am improving to be better than before a new Ethan. Anyone who last saw me a month ago no longer recognizes me, because my change has been drastic and that is clear. My definition of a perfect evening, or weekend, is no longer a night out, or being in bed with an unknown woman. What really makes me happy is to be in the company of the most special people in my life, my children and the woman of my life.Even though Camila treats me with such rudeness, running away from me like a cat runs away from water, the time I spend in her presence is special. To be able to admire her beauty, to feel my heart beating fast with every smile. Everything with her, no matter how small, becomes big for the simple fact that it is her; th
CAMILA SILVA Surprisingly, understanding my feelings for Ethan made me better. It allowed some things to finally make sense.Now I understand why butterflies fly through my stomach every time he smiles. I know why a little bump between our skins sets my body on fire. I understand why deep inside I keep seeing it the same way, my body keeps responding similarly to the past, begging for the same to happen again.I still love him. With all the strength of my being, I love him in a way that I can't even explain its intensity and magnitude. In a way that hurts, that hurts much more than I would like to admit. It hurts because I love him and I know that I will never be free to declare, or even live this love.I can say that I understood my body, I understood more of myself when I understood how I feel about him. But I haven't accepted it, I doubt that I will ever be able to accept it. Although they are wonderful sensations, after all, being in love is magical, I don't accept feeling them f
CAMILA SILVA The sea breeze coming through the window kisses my face softly. I close my eyes, letting out a simple smile as the memories take over my memory, but this time without taking away my peace, just bringing with them longing and the desire to experience it all again.Now I not only understand how I feel about Ethan, but I have accepted it. After so long fighting against it, being a hypocrite as my psychologist pointed out, I have accepted it. I am at peace with it, with my feelings, allowing me to feel lighter. I love him and my body declares this love and honestly, there is nothing more beautiful than this feeling.I know that we won't get back to the way we were before, at least not so quickly. We have a barrier that these years away have put between us, a huge abyss that we will have to face if we really want to be together. I have accepted the feeling, but it doesn't mean that in a magic wand everything will be all right.To give freedom to this feeling is to stop being
CAMILA SILVA I winked in Luisa's direction, put my headphones back on, and hurried back to my house. When we get the habit of waking up early it's over, even on our rest day we don't go as late as we would like.I had all the circumstances in my favor. The room was freezing as I like it, with the warmth of Etan's naked body right behind mine, enveloping me in a warm and cozy embrace. Even so, I woke up at half past nine in the morning. With nothing else of interest to do, I decided to go out for a run on the beach, to clear my head.I have a well-established routine, my body already does it involuntarily. I continue running quietly, listening to the wonderful Izzy la reina while watching the ocean waves. Surprisingly I felt lighter than ever, good with myself and my feelings. Accepting my feelings allowed a weight to come off my back, now I no longer have to pretend, I can be honest with myself and what I feel.I let the doorman of my building go, going up to my floor. When I get h
CAMILA SILVA I took a piece of the orange cake, putting it on the plate for Tyler to eat. I opened one of those dino danones that come in the bag, giving one to him and one to Luz. We are all sitting at the dining table, I am in the middle of the twins, helping them as I always do.I cherish these family moments. To have all of them on a Saturday morning, around a bountiful table, being able to eat whatever you want, as many times as you want, makes it all worthwhile. I remember the times, when I was a child, that we barely had an overnight bread with butter. After all, raising triplets, living in a community, was not so easy for my parents."Mama."-- Luz, with her usual sweet and gentle voice, calls out to me."Yes, my princess."-- I keep my attention on my lovely girl, seeing the beautiful smile she has on her lips.Taking me totally by surprise, the little one comes close to me, kissing my forehead and staying on my lap. She moves around a little bit, looking for the most comforta
CAMILA SILVAArraial do Cabo, my home, my second home. This place has always been my refuge, when I felt the world was about to fall apart this is where I came. Not only because of the beauty of the place, of course that helps a lot, but also because this place feels like home to me, like family.I went through many difficulties as a child, I witnessed many difficult moments. And whenever things started to get bad, my mother would send me here to stay with my family for a while until things got good again.Until today I am my Uncle Claudio's favorite niece, even though he doesn't assume much, the way he treats me is as if I were his daughter. Always doing my likes, doing everything so that I feel good and, most of all, come back there more often.It was here that I learned to love the sea, to connect with the sea. Things would tighten up and I would go to my safe spot, every wave that I broke was a problem that I overcame. At the beach I have my memories, I can disconnect from the wo
Ethan SalvatoreI thank Danielle, Camila's older cousin, taking the pharmacy bag. She offers to come in and help us in some way, but in a polite way I thank her and deny it. I wasn't there the first time, but now I want to live every moment with her. Not to mention that this is something more of a couple, even more so because the beautiful brunette is in shock about all this.I hold Camila's hands, staring at her with a smile. She stands up, interlacing our hands, and leaves the room with me, going to her aunt and uncle's room, which is a small suite. Her aunt and uncle wouldn't mind, they offered it themselves. Here we have our own bathroom, which means that we would have more privacy.I go to the kitchen, returning with a full glass of water and a bottle in case she wants more. Camila took three glasses in a row, until she felt the urge to urinate. I help her as much as I can, feeling the anxiety at absurd levels, in a way I have never felt in my life before.Camila washes her hands