XCIX : there's is no life after you

I looked at Gretta, who was lying on the bed.

In a quiet corner of the room, the serene atmosphere inside the hospital room was only interrupted by the regular hissing of breath from the bedridden Gretta. Her face reflected profound exhaustion and sadness as if a disaster had rolled over her like an endless storm. I sat beside her with a blank look.

The miscarriage had robbed us both of the glimmer of happiness they had just begun to achieve.

Everything that surrounded us was messing her up, messing me up. Us.

The pain split me in two. Realizing what we had lost, the cause of my own carelessness. If only I hadn't come and thrown a bomb at her, if only I hadn't brought her to my apartment, if only I hadn't abandoned her.. that fetus would still be between us.

That baby.. whether a boy or a girl, would have been a testament to our feelings.

I loved her, damn it. I loved her so much that jealousy about her leaving me ruled me more than my trust in her.

I should have known better than