EVERYTHING IS GOING to be fine.
I chanted the words like a prayer in my head as I stared at myself in the mirror.
It was the first day of senior year. A day for feeling excited and eager and cautiously optimistic. A day to make bucket lists and plans for the future.
A day to smile.
But my smile was fake, and my bucket list contained only one item: survive.
“Let’s go, Lilster.” My sister Poppy poked her head around the door, smiling. “Ooh, cute outfit.” She gave me the once over.
Anyone would think it was her first day of senior year, but no, my sister was a junior. A confident, bubbly, popular junior.
And I was… a wallflower.
Shy, meek, Lily Ford.
“I’m coming,” I said, checking my reflection for the last time.
You’ve got this.
With a weak smile, I grabbed my backpack and followed Poppy downstairs.
“Good morning, my two favorite girls.”
“Morning, Mom. Something smells good.”
“I made blueberry pancakes.”
“Hmm, my favorite,” Poppy said. “Where’s Peyton?” she asked, but seconds later, my best friend burst through the kitchen door.
“Good morning,” she sang.
“Good morning, Peyton. You’re looking very…” Mom’s brows furrowed as she sipped her coffee. “Is that school appropriate?”
“No. No it isn’t.” Dad waltzed into the room and gave Peyton a disapproving glance. “I know it’s senior year, but that,” he wagged a finger at her outfit, “is not happening on my watch.”
“Mr. Ford,” she said, around a puppy-dog pout, “it’s my lucky blouse.” “Lucky blouse or unlucky blouse, go change.”
“Ugh, fine.” She stomped off out of the kitchen.
“Do you think we’re being too hard on her?” Mom asked no one in particular.
“She needs boundaries, Fee. And while she’s staying under our roof…” He trailed off, running a hand over his jaw.
“You’re right. I thought we had our hands full with these two, but add Peyton into the mix and whew, I’m not sure I’m cut out for three teenage girls.” “Try being the only male in a house full of estrogen.” “Dad!” Poppy cringed.
“What?” He shrugged. “It’s true.” His eyes flicked to mine, a hundred questions glittering there. I gave him a small smile and nodded.
I was fine.
Everything was going to be fine.
“Okay, better?” Peyton appeared in the doorway. She’d slipped a black tank on under her blouse, so half her midriff was no longer showing, but I had no doubt she’d take it off the second we left the house.
“Much,” Dad grunted. “Now get in here and eat something.”
“So what do you think they’ll be like?” Poppy said the moment she sat down.
“They’re just kids, Pops, not some alien life form from another planet.”
“Yeah, but Rixon East hates us.”
“Well, we’re going to all need to put that aside and welcome them into school with a friendly smile.” Mom wasn’t looking at us, she was staring at Dad who looked murderous. “Jason,” she added.
“Yeah, I know. I just… fuck, did it have to be him?” “Jase!” She scolded, flicking her eyes to us.
“What exactly happened with you and Mr. Thatcher anyway?” Peyton asked.
“It’s ancient history,” Mom replied. “And we can’t judge a young man’s worth by the sins of his father.” She gave Dad another hard look.
“I heard Kaiden Thatcher is one of the best quarterbacks in state.” Peyton had that look in her eyes, the same look she got whenever a cute guy was around.
“I already have a quarterback, that’s the problem.” Dad drained his coffee. “I don’t know how the school board expects me to assimilate two teams into one roster. It’s an impossible task. Not to mention, the rumors that he’s a bit of a loose cannon like his father.”
Mom went over to him and squeezed his shoulders. “You’ll figure it out. You’re Jason freaking Ford.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek.
Dad was stressed. Had been ever since we found out that Rixon East, the school across the river, had almost burned down over the summer. Almost a third of its kids were transferring to Rixon High this year. Including the majority of its senior football players. Which would have been fine, if it wasn’t for the huge rivalry between their school and ours.
It was a whole thing.
As coach for the Rixon Raiders, my dad had his hands full this semester, trying to deal with the assimilation.
“Girls, do you want a ride to school?”
“Actually, Mr. Ford, Ashleigh is giving us a ride,” Peyton rushed out a little too hastily.
“She is?”
“Yeah, Dad, she wants to show off her new shiny Mazda.” It was an early birthday present from her parents.
“Well, you girls drive safe.” He tipped his face up to Mom. “Maybe I should call Cam.”
“You don’t need to call Cam. Ashleigh is a sensible driver.”
“Seriously, Dad. Lilster is a senior now. If she had her own car then—”
“Poppy.” I kicked her under the table. We’d discussed this. I didn’t want a car, not yet. Poppy and Peyton would only want me to chauffeur them around and Rixon was small enough to navigate on foot or by bus.
Besides, I wasn’t ready.
“You feeling okay, Lil?” Peyton asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You haven’t eaten much.” Mom frowned at my plate of barely touched pancakes. “I’m not hungry.”
“Lily, you have to—”
“Fee.” Dad shook his head. “It’s senior year jitters, that’s all. Happens to the best of us.” He winked at me and some of the tension inside me ebbed away.
“You have nothing to worry about.” Peyton smirked. “Senior year is going to be epic.” “Yeah.” I managed a weak smile.
Epic.
I wanted to share her enthusiasm. I wanted to be excited about what the year would bring. But the truth was, the only thing I wanted was to get through each day.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE she’s—yep, she got in Sean’s car.”Ashleigh, Poppy, and I watched as his car drove off with Peyton inside. Mom and Dad would freak if they saw her going with him. Sean Farrow wasn’t exactly a star student. But that was Peyton, always falling for the diamonds in the rough. She craved attention. I didn’t blame her though, she’d had a tough life.People often didn’t understand why we were friends. The wild child and the wallflower. Peyton Myers was everything I wasn’t. Beautiful, confident, and strong-willed. But she was also damaged. Damaged in a way only other damaged people could understand.I understood.We were different in all the ways society deemed important, but our souls were the same.She didn’t judge me or my issues just as I didn’t judge hers.“God, I wish I was as brave as her.” Poppy let out a soft sigh.“Oh yeah, Pops,” Ashleigh teased, “and which guy’s car would you be climbing into?” “No one’s,” she rushed out a little too quickly.“Wait a second.” My b
“Yeah, but I didn’t think he’d…”“What? Choose the trailer trash over Cheer Barbie?”“That’s not what I meant.”“Oh, I know exactly what you meant, Linds.” Peyton flashed her a saccharine smile. “Happy first day back.”Ashleigh snorted, but I rolled my eyes. “Peyton,” I said.“It’s okay, babe. Lindsey was just leaving, weren’t you?”“Yeah, whatever. Come on,” she said to her friends and they turned and sauntered off.“Do you have to poke the bear?” I hissed.“Oh, come on, Lil. She deserved it. Lindsey is a grade A bitch, who, might I add, is only going to get worse now it’s senior year.”“I wish you wouldn’t encourage her.”“Peyton’s right,” Ashleigh nodded, “she deserves everything she gets.”The hall ushered into silence as a group of guys entered the building. Not just any guys.Rixon East Eagles.They all wore their red and white jerseys, moving as one. A ripple went through the air as the whispers started, rising like a wave hurtling toward the shore.“Holy shit, they have balls,
“Okay, okay,” Coach boomed. “Quit bitchin’. I want you changed and out on the field in ten. If you won’t listen to me in here, perhaps you’ll listen to me out there.” He stalked off, his anger rippling through the air.“What do we do, Thatch?” Bryan asked me.“You want to play football, Bry?”“Shit, yeah, but they don’t fucking want us here anymore than we want to be here.”“Suck it up, buttercup.” I slammed a hand to his chest and patted. “If you want Michigan to come knocking, you’re going to need to show them what you’ve got.”“I don’t know, Thatch… It’s their territory.” His eyes flicked over to where Monroe and his guys were changing into their uniforms.“Look. Forget about them and focus on the game.”“Yeah, I guess.”We got changed, reluctantly pulling on the white and blue jerseys one of the assistant coaches gave us. It felt wrong to be in their colors, but I guess we weren’t Eagles anymore.We were Raiders.And fuck if that didn’t feel like some kind of treachery.“RUN IT AG
He chuckled. “We’re not all assholes. So long as you don’t come looking for trouble.”“I can’t make any promises.” If Monroe kept pushing, eventually I’d snap. But I was hoping to avoid that.“You can do it.” Aaron clapped me on the shoulder before moving around me. “Come on,” he said, and I followed him inside.It wasn’t like I had much choice.“WELL, will you take a look at that.” Bryan let out a low whistle. “It’s like a fresh pussy buffet.” “Dude, I’m eating,” I quipped, stuffing another fry into my mouth.“Yeah, and hopefully I will be later.” He grinned, sticking his fingers up to his mouth in a V and licking.“Fucking idiot,” Gav said. “But he’s not wrong about the pussy. Case in point.” He pointed over to a group of girls in the lunch line.I recognized them from this morning in the hall.“The blonde is hot. Hey, Thatch, isn’t that the girl who called after you this morning?”“Dunno, is it?” I shrugged. She was a cute thing, sure. In that obvious hot girl kinda way. But it was
It was senior year. My last year of high school. Did I want to spend it hiding in the shadows? “He’s so small,” I said, watching her bathe the kitten.“Someone found him behind a dumpster.”“I don’t know how people can do that, just abandon them.” My heart ached for the small, helpless animal.Mom’s passion was the rescue center she managed. I’d grown up in A Brand New Tail, sitting right at this counter, watching her work her magic. The kitten purred as she scrubbed his fur.“We’ll have him as good as new soon enough.” She smiled over at me. “Still thinking about following in your mom’s footsteps?”“Maybe,” I said around a small shrug.“You’ll need to make a decision eventually, Lil.”“I know.” But the prospect of college terrified me. Everyone said it was a chance to find yourself, to learn who you really were. But for someone like me, it was an unknown quantity that made my stomach drop just thinking about it.“You can stay local, sweetheart,” Mom said, as if she could hear my thou
“Sorry, I forgot my cell.” She noticed the tension between me and Ashleigh and added, “What’s up?”“Nothing.” I smiled. “Leigh is worried about Peyton. Aren’t you?”“Uh, yeah. I’m worried—”“Worried about what?” Peyton ducked into the car beside Poppy. “Sorry, I overslept.” “Let’s roll.” Ashleigh pulled into the steady stream of morning traffic.“So I heard Lindsey is having a party Friday and I was thinking we should go.” “Hell yes,” my sister said.“Lindsey, really?” I balked.“It’s senior year, Lily,” Peyton added. “I know she’s a bitch, but everyone will be there.”“I don’t think so. You can go, but I’m not—”“Lily, don’t do this. Don’t let what happened back then ruin your senior year. You’re stronger than that.”“Peyton has a point, Lil,” Ashleigh glanced over at me. “It’s one party. What’s the worst that can happen?”“Come on, Lilster, please,” Poppy implored. “You know Mom and Dad won’t let me go unless you go.”“She won’t want me there.” Any more than I wanted to be there.“S
“Sweetheart, can I come in?”“Sure, Mom,” I said, and she slipped into my room.“Still not dressed?”“I don’t know what to wear.”“Well, I think anything will be an improvement on that.” She glanced at the fluffy robe wrapped around my body and chuckled. “Jeans and a t-shirt will be fine, baby. You don’t want to give your dad a heart attack.”“Yeah.” He’d been in a mood ever since Poppy announced we were going to the party tonight. Of course, he’d tried to say no, but Mom quickly intervened and reminded him we weren’t kids anymore.“I’m proud of you, you know? This is a big step, Lily.” Mom gave me a reassuring smile and left me to get dressed.I pulled on a cropped, black t-shirt emblazoned with metallic stars and some cropped jeans. Pulling my hair into a loose ponytail over one shoulder, I braided the ends, and added a touch of lip gloss.“Here goes nothing,” I said, grabbing my purse and making my way downstairs.Peyton and Poppy were already waiting. “You look hot, Lil.” My best
If it wasn’t for Mom and Coach Forrester, I’d be attending Millington or Fenn Hill, playing for one of their mediocre teams.Thank God for small mercies because although I didn’t relish playing with the Raiders, it was a damn sight better than playing for a team with no direction or hunger for the win.Everyone stopped to watch us follow Aaron and Cole down to the lake, but I let their stares roll off my back. I wasn’t looking for their approval or even their acceptance. I was here to play football and land a full ride to Alabama.“Fuck yes, jet skis,” Bryan said, nudging my arm.“No way you’ll get me on one of those things. It’s too dangerous.”“Seriously, Thatch, don’t be such a pussy.”“I’d rather be a pussy than benched for the season with a broken arm.”“He has a point,” Aaron said, and I tipped my chin in appreciation. “So how does Rixon High compare with East?” he asked.“It’s… different. But practice is similar. Coach Forrester isn’t such a hard ass as Coach Ford.” “Don’t let