My story begins on 23rd July 2018..on the first day of my college Manipal University Jaipur. I, Varun Kapoor, 18 years old have always been a shy person, someone who doesn't have much interest in interacting with new people, that too from different parts of the country. I've always asked myself-"Why should I even bother anyone with my nonsense conversations?". Basically, I am someone who tries not to pry in anyone's life or invade their personal space by disturbing them or should I say that I was foreign to the concept of a world consisting of a bunch of strangers because I have never been out of my comfort zone before. And since this was my first time in this new world, that hesitation was natural, I guess. To sum it up in layman's language- I was an introvert and I accept it.
I realized that suddenly I was in the big leagues now with no one to look after me, take care of me, or even guide me. I was all grown up and it was up to me to shape my future now. So I began my new journey of college. It was my first day. It all felt like a big movie set to me. The DOME, the campus, the architecture, the environment ...all of this felt very foreign to me because after all it was my first time, out from my hometown and that too all on my own, to make my parents proud and prove my place in this world. There was something in that campus and hostel, something so intriguing and something so comforting that even though it was a new place..even a new city, it made me feel like I belonged...it made me feel like home.
So, the first day into my first lecture, I was ready and prepared for this new phase of my life, the journey of the best four years of my life with a bunch of strangers who would eventually become some of the best friends I'll ever have. So, I entered the classroom, feeling nervous, emotional but mostly afraid of what I'd do if could not make any friends if no one likes me for who I am if no one trusts me, and above all wondering how the hell was I gonna get along with them. With all these thoughts swirling in my mind, I entered room number 030-2AB of section-I and kept on walking to the fourth row on the right side, taking the seat on the farthermost right corner, sitting all alone waiting for someone to arrive, to talk to me, to get to know me, and eventually be my friend. Me being an introvert, it was out of the question that I'd make a move to talk to anybody...let alone actually striking a whole ass conversation.
Finally, after contemplating for a long time I decided..that maybe...Just maybe I should introduce myself to this guy sitting on my left. With mustering up all the courage I had, I initiated a conversation with a guy named Manan who was shy too- I mean what are the odds, huh? He was slim and meek and was quite nice to talk to. At first, I thought I had made a new friend in college but who knew that was the start of something the exact opposite in my life, something that was preparing me for the first 6 months or as it is said, the first semester of my college life. Manan was the only one I talked to on my first day and looking around, the only question that captured my mind was, "How the hell am I going to adjust here?" But I shrugged it off thinking maybe I am just too overwhelmed by this place and will get used to it.
Seeing the whole environment of the class, I felt that there was something new...something different about this lot. Maybe it was the fact that I have never in my life been in a class of people coming from different parts of the country, with different personalities. As you grow up in a single town: you get to know people who have more or less the same lives, same experiences as yourself, but what I was seeing here, was very different from what I have seen my entire life. As I looked around the class I could make out what these people were experiencing...every face had a different story to tell: Some were too happy, some looked sad. Some were irritated, some were emotional, some with happy-go-lucky nature, and some just showing off. On the other side, I could see some who were calm and patient, many who were extroverts, and some bookworms too. Seeing this bunch, one could surely say that they were caught up in a crazy place, but I knew that in the long run, staying with them, sleeping in the same building as them, eating all three meals with them, studying, and even hanging out with them was surely gonna be amazing.
Snapping back into reality, I noticed that roll calls were being answered, I just sat back and observed each one of them, noticing how they reacted to their roll calls, eager to listen to every voice of that classroom. As a result, I learned almost all the names of my classmates, just thinking that a few of them would be my friends someday. On my first day, I only knew one person and that was Priyank Kumar, a light brown-skinned guy, who was 5.8 feet tall. This was because I was introduced to him a day before, by his roommate Aarush, a friend of mine from my hometown and yes, he was also in my college...But the Priyank I met the previous day was very different from what I saw in class. Yesterday he was a little shy, hesitant to get out of his comfort zone, but in class he was like a flying monkey jumping here and there, talking to each and everyone in the class. This behavior made me realize that for the very first time, I made an error in judging a person. I thought of him as more of a self-sufficient type rather than being an open book...being an extrovert. And let me tell you, in the coming days I failed many times to judge a person. I guess... the Varun here needed to be a little different from his past life and had to bring a change in his perception a little bit. I guess he needed a fresh mindset and a change in personality to adjust to this group of strangers.
The first day ended with me doubting myself and my personality, and I was pretty sure this was very normal for a guy who experienced this change for the very first time in his life. A few days went by in the same haze and pattern and with no new friends...emphasis on No. Now even Manan had made new friends which suddenly made me realize that I had no one to talk to...no one to share my experiences with. So, I finally decided that I had to make new friends, and then suddenly as if on cue, a guy from third-row asked for my maths copy. I remembered him, he was Kunwar Alekshendra Singh, the name's hard, right? Later on, he was just Alex for everyone, a guy from Lucknow, food lover or should I say... non-veg lover. He was the first actual friend I made in college. He was full of mischief: disturbing teachers and entertaining the whole class was his job, I guess. He was afraid of adventurous stuff - like sitting in the front seat of a speeding car or having a fight with someone, but he was good at heart, someone who would stand by you always. But whatever he was to others, to me he was a friend and a really good guy.
As a few more days passed I realized that I had made just a single friend in college and it was tough for me(laughing). Jumping back to the class from my thoughts, I saw that the professor was already nearing the end of the roll calls. I answered my roll call and had just started reading my book when I saw three new faces "Alizeh", "Ishani" and "Mrityunjay".Ignoring the last one, the first two were going to be two of my best friends that I've made in my entire life, and who knew these two were going to turn my life upside down, especially "Alizeh".I still remember her wearing a yellow top with white stripes in between, which made her look like a ray of sunshine. She was covered in a black Jagging with an old-looking wrist watch on her right hand. She was walking towards the professor with a nervous look on the face but when she said, "Sir, my name was not called! ",
her voice was filled with confidence and a little bit of...excitement, I guess. And that was the first time I heard her voice distinctively and yes, her voice was euphonious...the kind I had never heard before and I saw something different in her...something which I could not point out then. Nevertheless, the moment I saw their faces, I just knew that I had to be friends with both of them. They seemed really good. Good at interacting with new people almost instantly but most importantly they seemed to be really good people altogether and all I needed was good people in my life who would accept me for the way I was and who would understand me. Both of them really understood me eventually and that was the first time I met her, not exactly met her but saw her.So I guess, this was the beginning of something beautiful and something drastic at the same time. My whole life was about to take a 360-degree turn filled with lots of drama and I failed to predict it. And uh..oh that's where the situation got out of control.
And just like that, my college life began. And let me tell you, however easy it may sound, it wasnot. It was full of obstacles, hurdles, and adventures all the way,talk about dramatic, huh?. This was the first time I was on my own and wasactuallyenjoying it. People often say that if you are away from your home, in an entirely new place, you tend to take a long time adjusting there but that was not the case with me. I felt different in this environment, a good kind ofdifferentand it was enough to bring me out of my comfort zone and adjust to this new atmosphere, and honestly speaking I really enjoyed it.This college was different than what I expected it to be- full of freshness excitement and a whole lot of new people and that's what excited me the most. The college had its own merits butHostel
My winter vacation was over, however much I enjoyed at home, I felt something missing, and I realized that it was the connection that I had made with my college and I missed it. In just a couple of days, I was back and this time around I was happy, relaxed, and fully satisfied. Being back in the hostel was probably the best feeling I got in the past couple of days and I thoroughly enjoyed it. As the second semester started, I realized that I had formed a group withAlex,Sam,andAarushand this was probably the best thing that happened to me in the last couple of years and this friendship was probably there to stay.With us four together life became probably more enjoyable for me in college. WithAlexbeing with me in class we enjoyed ourselves a lot and did a whole lot of funny
Before we move on any further, I want you all to be clear with all the different dynamics that were formed in my friend circle. Let us begin withAlizeh, she andPriyankwere like brother and sisterandPriyankreally loved that bond, he would literally do anything for her sister, you should see his call logs they had literallyAlizehwritten all over it.AlizehandRahulshared a brother-sister relationship while she andKabir(yeah that guy from amphitheater) were committed to each other.KabirandShanayashared a brother-sister bond. Then there wasRahul, he andShanayashared a brother-sister relationship, he andReva
Starting with Reva and Rahul.On the14th of September,he finally told her,and that's where their friendship got off track. I still remember whatReva'sface was while saying, "WHAT? I didn't consider you more than a friend EVER, you were my best friend and I love you ONLY as a friend and I have no feelings for you otherwise".After hearing this,Rahulwas completely shattered which was expected since I had previously conveyed my worries of her already being in a relationship and why would she choose him overPrathuwithout any solid reason. Because of this, the complications increased in the whole group and I knew something like that could happen because, for him to move on fromReva, he needed to stay away from her. But that was near impossible bec
It was the6th of November, the day the sessionals were supposed to end, who knew all of our lives were going to turn upside down in a few days. I didn't know what was happening to me, my feelings grew stronger and stronger day by day, and being withAlizehmade me relaxed, made me happy yet satisfied. I don't know why being in her company made me like that, maybe the way she talked to me, or the way she smiled and laughed with me, maybe her voice, the way she cared for me, or maybe her presence, all of these things made her a very beautiful person not only from outside but from inside too.MaybeI was in love, and it was nothing like shown in movies where the music starts playing in the background or violin starts playing or something. I just think it's a very pure feeling or a pure connection, a feeling litera
So, I just got up fromthe jogging trackand started walking towardsRahul's room.On my way there I picked up my phone and calledAlizeh, and I asked her "What happened?", she tells me "I told you all about it in the texts", I then asked her "What do you want me to do? Shall I go and talk to Kabir?", she told me "What are you going to talk to him about? There is nothing to be explained here!", I told her "Yaar, I don't want this to happen, I am not like this Alizeh, I do not want to be the person because of whom you guys break up, and I don't want anything to be messed up between you two, so shall I go and talk to him?", she replied "No, don't ever think that all of this happened because of you. You didn't know any of this would happen and if I feel that you should talk t
The next morning, it was the12th of November, 2019,and I saw all those messages, I mean I just gave her support, as I was helpless too. I woke her up and said to her "Don't think about last night too much, everything will be fine" and she told me "I miss you" and also asked me to "Call me, we will go to class together!". As soon as I got ready I gave her a call and we went to class together, we just sat and talked to each other throughout the class, but suddenly while talking to me, her stomach started to ache very badly and she was in a lot of pain, she kept her hand on my thigh and grabbed it very tightly. I saw this and I told her "Give me your hand!". Laughing, after some time, she was relieved. I held a girl's hand for the first time in my life, I have never done it before, it felt very special that this was happening with me, as soon as
So that night continued for me and as soon as I reachedRahul's room, where I was supposed to be sleeping that night, Alizeh just sent me a snippet of her messages withIshaniwhich said-Ishani:"Okay Alizeh, you know yesterday I talked to you very normally but there was no effort from your side."Alizeh:"Yaar I will not lie, I don't even remember the conversation you are talking about, I have literally so much going on, but really sorry yaar Ishani, I might have done something I am pretty sure."Ishani:"Yaar Alizeh if you don't even remember what happened and you don't even feel that then I don't know what to say. Earlier you used to stay with me but now you are behavi