It has been 18 months since I last saw her or even heard her voice. And yet, I still miss her. For whatever reason it is, I still love her just as much as I have always loved her. In my mind, every day passes by as if I should hate her more and more for whatever she did to me, but I don't hate her, and I don't think I ever could if I wanted to. I just hate all the hurt that she put me through, and I blame myself for letting her, yet my love for her never dies, and I guess this is what true love is.Even though I try to remember how she looked, her face, the dresses she wore, and her voice, I can only recall small bits and pieces. It seems I'm forgetting her, but I still remember all our happy moments despite all that has happened to us. I still remember everything about her, her smile, her endless laughs, her pretty face, her blushing, her relaxing expression after seeing me, her hugging me, her voice in the morning, her holding my hands and not letting me go, her friendship, her love
My story begins on23rd July 2018..on the first day of my collegeManipal University Jaipur. I,Varun Kapoor, 18 years oldhave always been a shy person, someone who doesn't have much interest in interacting with new people, that too from different parts of the country. I've always asked myself-"Why should I even bother anyone with my nonsense conversations?". Basically, I am someone who tries not to pry in anyone's life or invade their personal space by disturbing them or should I say that I was foreign to the concept of a world consisting of a bunch of strangers because I have never been out of my comfort zone before. And since this was my first time in this new world, that hesitation was natural, I guess. To sum it up in layman's language-I was an introvertand I accept it.
And just like that, my college life began. And let me tell you, however easy it may sound, it wasnot. It was full of obstacles, hurdles, and adventures all the way,talk about dramatic, huh?. This was the first time I was on my own and wasactuallyenjoying it. People often say that if you are away from your home, in an entirely new place, you tend to take a long time adjusting there but that was not the case with me. I felt different in this environment, a good kind ofdifferentand it was enough to bring me out of my comfort zone and adjust to this new atmosphere, and honestly speaking I really enjoyed it.This college was different than what I expected it to be- full of freshness excitement and a whole lot of new people and that's what excited me the most. The college had its own merits butHostel
My winter vacation was over, however much I enjoyed at home, I felt something missing, and I realized that it was the connection that I had made with my college and I missed it. In just a couple of days, I was back and this time around I was happy, relaxed, and fully satisfied. Being back in the hostel was probably the best feeling I got in the past couple of days and I thoroughly enjoyed it. As the second semester started, I realized that I had formed a group withAlex,Sam,andAarushand this was probably the best thing that happened to me in the last couple of years and this friendship was probably there to stay.With us four together life became probably more enjoyable for me in college. WithAlexbeing with me in class we enjoyed ourselves a lot and did a whole lot of funny
Before we move on any further, I want you all to be clear with all the different dynamics that were formed in my friend circle. Let us begin withAlizeh, she andPriyankwere like brother and sisterandPriyankreally loved that bond, he would literally do anything for her sister, you should see his call logs they had literallyAlizehwritten all over it.AlizehandRahulshared a brother-sister relationship while she andKabir(yeah that guy from amphitheater) were committed to each other.KabirandShanayashared a brother-sister bond. Then there wasRahul, he andShanayashared a brother-sister relationship, he andReva
Starting with Reva and Rahul.On the14th of September,he finally told her,and that's where their friendship got off track. I still remember whatReva'sface was while saying, "WHAT? I didn't consider you more than a friend EVER, you were my best friend and I love you ONLY as a friend and I have no feelings for you otherwise".After hearing this,Rahulwas completely shattered which was expected since I had previously conveyed my worries of her already being in a relationship and why would she choose him overPrathuwithout any solid reason. Because of this, the complications increased in the whole group and I knew something like that could happen because, for him to move on fromReva, he needed to stay away from her. But that was near impossible bec
It was the6th of November, the day the sessionals were supposed to end, who knew all of our lives were going to turn upside down in a few days. I didn't know what was happening to me, my feelings grew stronger and stronger day by day, and being withAlizehmade me relaxed, made me happy yet satisfied. I don't know why being in her company made me like that, maybe the way she talked to me, or the way she smiled and laughed with me, maybe her voice, the way she cared for me, or maybe her presence, all of these things made her a very beautiful person not only from outside but from inside too.MaybeI was in love, and it was nothing like shown in movies where the music starts playing in the background or violin starts playing or something. I just think it's a very pure feeling or a pure connection, a feeling litera
So, I just got up fromthe jogging trackand started walking towardsRahul's room.On my way there I picked up my phone and calledAlizeh, and I asked her "What happened?", she tells me "I told you all about it in the texts", I then asked her "What do you want me to do? Shall I go and talk to Kabir?", she told me "What are you going to talk to him about? There is nothing to be explained here!", I told her "Yaar, I don't want this to happen, I am not like this Alizeh, I do not want to be the person because of whom you guys break up, and I don't want anything to be messed up between you two, so shall I go and talk to him?", she replied "No, don't ever think that all of this happened because of you. You didn't know any of this would happen and if I feel that you should talk t