[Warning: Body dysphoria and self-hatred]
Marcus was a tall and stout looking brunet. He sat in his office chair working on the laptop and the moment he saw me, he stood up and bowed respectfully. “Good morning, luna. Thank you for agreeing to this meeting.” I felt nodded awkwardly, not used to such a show of respect and also feeling ridiculous at the show of such high regard.
“Please have a seat.” He gestured to a standard looking black office chair. But his gaze frequently flickered to the mark that sat glaringly and was on full display because of the round-necked t-shirt.
“Firstly, I apologize for not being able to welcome you-”
“What deal did my father make with this pack?” I cut in, tired of hearing apologies and being the subject of pitiful looks. I knew my face wouldn’t reveal any emotion, not an iota of what I was feeling would be portrayed on my face because I was known as the ‘jade beauty’ in my pack.
Predictably, Marcus became slightly uneasy but he hid it well. “It’s not like that…” he began, as a plastic smile settled on his face. I wasn’t ready to budge. His smile dropped when he noticed this. The corners of his mouth tightened as he turned to the laptop and began typing something. I opened my mouth to voice my annoyance when he turned the device towards me.
“This is the digital version of the contract that was signed by both parties. Have a look.” There wasn’t any mock or taunt in his voice. It was business-like and more on the defensive side. I glanced at him before my eyes flickered to the screen. I willed myself to remain calm. I had brought up the topic, I want to know the truth so I shouldn’t be panicking or breaking down. That was for later, when I would be alone in that room turned luxurious prison.
The glare of the screen almost hurt my eyes, but I blinked and concentrated on each and every word. It was a short contract with short clauses but ones that were stringent and breaking them would be a mistake. It looked like my father’s pack or Alpha Black’s pack as I should call him from now, was going through a crisis, and I was only told about the surface-level of it. The Renaud pack promised to support them with men and resources, but they needed something hefty in return.
Alpha Black offered me as a bride for Alpha Isaac and in return, he vowed to not have anything to do with me or my well-being in the future. I was, it seemed, truly under the mercy of the ‘beast’. I swallowed back the lump in my throat and blinked several times to ease the burning in the corner of my eyes.
“So I was practically ‘sold’ to this pack in exchange for pack warriors and resources,” I said calmly. My gaze darted towards Marcus who pursed his lips. I pushed the device slightly towards him and he gingerly turned iit and kept it back in its original place.
“We wouldn’t say that and Ms. Black-”
“Kathryn please.” I suddenly felt nauseous at the mention of my former surname. He paused, gauging my expression before carefully phrasing his next words. “Sorry, Luna Kathryn, we wouldn’t say that you were ‘sold’. That makes us look barbaric. We were given the impression that you know and have agreed to this… alliance.”
Of course…of course, Alpha Black would manipulate the situation for his own good and not even think twice before getting rid of his own flesh and blood. I was only an abomination in the pack after I turned 15.
“You should have done some research then,” I retorted, “You should have known that a girl like me, someone from such a small pack would know anything about Alpha Isaac. You should have known that because his presence has been missing from the entire werewolf world at least for the last two years.” My vision had become sharper and I could feel Astrid strongly at the back of my mind. Even Marcus cowered slightly.
“We…know the situation. Alpha Isaac hasn’t been in the best…state, but-”
“State? What is he even going through? Let alone Alpha Black, why didn’t any of you come and speak to me? At least I would know what my dear old father was signing me up for.” I stood up, agitated.
Years of learning endurance and patience had gone for a toss as I made my way to the door, having nothing else to say or listen. I blinked back my tears the moment my back was towards Marcus. “Your father…made a vow, Luna Kathryn. You can’t leave, not after knowing about our Alpha.”
I hastily wiped away a traitorous sal drop that had rolled down my cheek and muttered. “I don’t plan to leave, beta Marcus. Rest assured.” I have nowhere to go anyway.
~~~~~~
I had made it to the room, my haven and prison without anyone noticing. Especially Margarette. A lunch tray was waiting and I instantly knew that someone had definitely seen me leave Marcus’ office. I closed the door with a thud.
I padded to the bathroom and peeled off my clothes. I walked out and stood in front of the full-length mirror. Most of the marks had faded, but the bond mark remained, acting as a reminder that I belonged to this pack now, that I belonged, yet I didn’t. I had a mate and yet…I didn’t.
The tears were almost invisible against my pale complexion. My gaze flittered over my body. What was I useful for? Only because I had the female organs? Otherwise, who would even look at me? From the jutting hip bones to the wide waist and wider hips, from electric blue eyes that made me look angry all the time to my white-blonde hair, nothing about me seemed appealing. There was nothing about me that was attractive. Even my lips were thin almost like a line, and so pale that it blended with the skin.
The voices that used to keep me awake in my childhood snarled and roared back and I clapped my ears to stop them but instead of ceasing the voices became louder. ‘You have always been a burden. You have always been nothing but a commodity in the eyes of everyone. No wonder, they passed you along like unwanted baggage. You are just his bedmate, you know?. Like he said, you are the price, and Alpha Black made a good bid, a profitable one. You are just another conquest. Maybe after he's done with you, he will kill you. For good.’
My pity party ended with a hesitant knock from one of the maids. Having asked them to wait, I shrugged on a t-shirt and joggers. The clothes dragged me into another bout of nostalgia. Clarissa had come alone to collect the food tray which had remained untouched. “But you must eat something,” she said anxiously. I shook my head. “I will ask for something if I’m hungry. Hope the food will be available even after lunch hours?” I aimed it to be teasing, attempting to mask my bitterness with the fake smile, but Clarissa’s eyes widened. Clearly, she thought I was being sarcastic. “Ye-yes, of course, luna.” “Good.” She ambled towards the coffee table to collect the tray but before leaving she said. “Uh…the pack doctor wants to…um, make an appointment with you.” She didn’t meet my eyes while saying this and thi
I couldn’t fathom her words for a few moments before I dumbly repeated, “Enigma?” Georgia nodded. Her gaze shifted to the door, then she lowered her voice. “Don’t tell anyone I told you this, please. But since you are the new luna and I regularly do clinical check-ups of Alpha, I thought you should know.”I vaguely nodded. My mind was preoccupied with the new revelation. After I bid goodbye to the doctor and came out of the chamber, I walked slowly towards the Alpha’s residence. Some pack members hurried from one part of the courtyard to the other and I could hear the hustle and bustle of daily life, outside where everyone else lived. My gaze was fixed on the wall that was built high and sturdy around the residence and I couldn’t help but wonder if this was for the Alpha’s protection or the pack members.
“I wanted an explanation.” I don’t elaborate my answer, however, I make sure my gaze remains unwavering. His golden eyes narrow slightly. He does move from where he stands in front of the door. I notice his jaw clench, his nostrils flare slightly. I can’t help but admire his sharp features and how it rivals his rough nature, his angry personality. I tilt up my chin slightly, not one to back down or cower. I’m an alpha, even if I am slightly less powerful, but I am not useless. I cross my arms to hide my sweaty palms and lean against the casement, the cold air hits my nape, creating goosebumps on my skin. “So you harass him? It was your father who struck the deal,” he gritted through his clenched teeth as he strode forward, prowled towards me like a predator. I actually felt like the prey. I could only hope that it did
I watched the doors close behind him with a heavy thud, a sound that sent a jolt to my chest. I stared at the closed doors for how long I had no idea, maybe not until I felt an itchiness of dried cum on my inner thighs or the distinct ache in between my legs. I half-sat , my mind going blank for a moment. Shame had already spread across my body like a wet blanket. I sat up completely, naked and shivering. I refused to cry, but the tears didn’t listen, they rolled down my cheeks. I sniffled as I got off the bed. The wind blew in from the still open window caressing my skin, making me shudder. I cast a glance across the pristine white satin bedsheet, which was now ruined by cum and drops of blood. It’s strange how when he first invaded me and took my virginity, no blood was spilled, whereas today, it was the opposite. The dark red splotches reminded me, glared at me and taunted me of the loss of my virginity, a hollow concept created by soci
I didn’t know how to react to this. The woman, however, knew exactly what to say. She was stoic like her son, her gaze fiery and hostile. “I am the late Alpha’s true mate, but he didn’t want me to be the luna.” The bitterness was evident in her tone. I nodded, trying to make out some sense of this fact. “You must be the girl whom he chose,” she said after scrutinizing me. I managed to not squirm under the weight of her gaze. The girl he chose, huh? I also tried my best to not cringe at this. Her eyes narrowed, razor-sharp as if waiting for me to slip up.“Try not to disappoint him,” she said when I hadn’t replied verbally. I blinked while her face remained impassive. I wanted to say, “Who the hell does your son think he is, that I won’t dare to disappoint him? He is already disappointed, I think.” But none of
Astrid yipped as we zoomed our way through the forest, weaving through the trees and occasionally rolling on the forest ground. We were happy, more so because this was the first time in a long while that we got so much freedom. There were no lakes or clearing in this forest or there was, just not accessible. We looked around and found a semi-clear spot, devoid of dirt and looking pretty cosy with the spread of fallen leaves. We trotted to the spot and plopped on it. The leaves crinkled and tickled but we made ourselves comfortable. ‘Astrid?’ I began, because after all this time, I finally felt that we could speak to each other freely, connect and share our thoughts. Astrid, unlike me, didn’t like to stretch things or talk about heavy stuff. She never dwelled on anything, which is why now as we sat on the forest floor,
[Trigger warning: Suicidal thoughts, self-hatred] I had never transformed so fast, never ran so fast. My hind legs were burning and aching when I came to a halt at the edge of the forest. I somehow transformed back into my human form. The moment I did, the wooden door opened with a creak and a harried-looking Marcus emerged. “I told you not to go to the Southern part of the forest, didn’t I?” He looked mad, but that didn’t make me flinch, not even a bit. I stood up, brushed my pants as much as I could salvage before raising my head. I ignored the furious burning at the corner of my eyes. “Why? So that you could hide you alpha having an affair, or should I say keeping a side chick and fucking h
Even though Isaac said that Clarissa had changed my clothes last night, I still wanted to confirm whether that was true. “Did you change my clothes last night?” The maid’s hands stilled, hairbrush on top of my head, the bristles yet to touch the hair strands. I looked at her reflection. Her eyes were downcast, red splotched her cheeks. She glanced up before lowering her gaze and nodding. “You were… unconscious. Then…alpha called for me and I…” She didn’t need to mention the rest. I could imagine what it must have looked like and how intimidated she must have been. I don't even know how I asked him to kill me. Maybe I was desperate to die. I still am not opposed to the very idea of death.I shoved these thoughts at the back of my mind. Now was not the time to show how pathetic of a Luna I was. I hummed noncommittal, pretending to be unbothered whereas inside I was slightly relieved. I would