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Right by your side
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37 Days Humbled
POVMillie I keep the pen in between my fingers flicking on my desk echoing a calming sound while my mind is going a mile a minute. I have work to do on this Monday morning but the highs and lows of the weekend have overridden my attention. Now that I have a clearer head, the highs of being in the same vicinity of X and the lows of not knowing what to think of Dani come to mind. The two of them seemed so…natural together. What were they doing together outside that night before I interrupted? I’m still a little shocked I had the confidence to confront them, it was the alcohol of course, but what if I didn’t? Would they have done something with one another? “Ugh,” I sigh out dropping the black pen to the desk and occupying my hands with the weight of my overactive head. My mind goes solely back to Dani. I’m not sure if the past is catching up to me and the insecurities I feel when it comes to X that make me weary about her or if I’m just being dramatic and she is in fact just an inno
37 Days It controls me
POVMillie It’s here. The dreaded day of June 22nd has arrived like it does every year. I’ll get the sympathy texts from family like I do every anniversary. It’s bittersweet to receive the messages because I know it’s coming from a loving place but on the other hand, I’m the one that took my mom's life, it's sad and humiliating through and through. June 22nd is always the same routine, I cry myself to sleep the night before, wake up absolutely distraught like the event happened only hours ago, and play every minute of the day in my mind the same way it did that day. I go into self-destruction mode and watch the clock remembering what I was doing at that exact moment. For example, it’s currently 9:00 am, physically I’m at work, mentally, I’m sitting at home with my mom while my dad is at work. I’m eating breakfast while I talk to my mom about the dress we’re picking up and from there I’ll continue on with every detail, living the day in a divided reality. This year I prayed I wouldn
37 Days Today is not that day
POVMillie This man, this man I have fallen for, makes me fall for him deeper and deeper with every passing day. In this moment, I don’t think I can love a person more. He understands me in ways I didn’t know I needed to be understood. He’s here for me, standing in front of me holding me while I fall apart. I love him the way I know I will never love another. He opens his way too-expensive car for me and I get inside, he closes the door for me and walks around the car to get himself in. I have no idea what he’s got in mind but as long as he’s here by my side, I’m in for it. He pulls us out of my work parking lot and hops on the freeway going southbound. I’m really confused about where we’re headed. He takes his hand in mine giving it a minuscule squeeze, just enough to redirect my attention to him. “Why don’t you take a little nap, it’s going to be a bit of a drive,” he says glancing from me to the road. I nod my head, a nap doesn’t sound like an awful idea, I’m exhausted from th
37 Days In your honor
POVMillie After paying, I change out of my work clothes and into my Coronado attire in the dressing room. I thank the woman I’m not entirely fond of before exiting the store and meeting a waiting X outside. He’s currently on his phone sounding less than pleasant to whoever he’s speaking to. I empathize with the unfortunate person on the other line. X has never yelled at me and I think if he would have I would’ve been frightened, his whole demeanor changes when he’s pissed. Sure, when he’s upset he’s thrown some inappropriate hateful words my way but I know he doesn’t actually mean them.As he’s still on the phone, he turns around looks my way, smirks at my new and not-so-improved out, and holds up his index finger to indicate he’ll be a minute. Good, I’ll need a minute anyway. This freaking guy is going to make me melt and become one with the concrete beneath my feet. He’s made literally two changes to his appearance and I’m about ready to hump my way to him like an over-hormonal
37 Days Polite police
POVXMillie is currently changing back into her work clothes, she refuses to wear the clothes we bought earlier for this restaurant. While she’s busy changing I call Dani. After three rings she answers. “Yo,” she says through the line, see, just like a guy. “Hey, I need you to box up the green, Antonio is coming this weekend and needs ten pounds to bring back with him,” I say trying to be as discreet as possible. “Yeah, okay consider it done,” she says confidently. I don’t say anything else, I just hang up. I was planning to do it myself today but Millie needed me more today and she always comes first in my life. She comes back out dressed, “ready to go?” I ask. She nods and follows me down the strip to Bluewater Boathouse. We’re greeted by some tall, lanky loser who’s looking my girl up and down like she’s on the menu. She’s fucking not, maybe for me but no one else. I want to deck this fucker in the face but I guess it wouldn’t be appropriate for how classy this place looks.
37 Days Less stress
POVMillie We’re now on our way back to Los Angeles and today turned out to be an amazing day with X. Everything was completely unexpected from going to Coronado Beach to the emotions that I thought would get the better of me all day but didn’t. On the other hand, my first real public date out with X was completely what I had expected. Spending way too much money and getting pissy with any man that looked my way. It’s funny really, he could have women visibly gawking at him, yet, I’m the crazy one if I say anything. I’m so exhausted from the day, I’m so not looking forward to having to work in the morning. I already know I’m going to be just as useless as I was this morning. I lean my head to the side and watch the orangey sunset from out the window until I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. “Hey, baby?” I hear X ask, waking me from my little nap. “Hmm?” I ask confused by my surroundings, it’s dark out now. “We’re here now, at your work,” he says so gently and comforting. “Oh,
37 Days Flight from hell
POVMillie About a half hour later, X came out of his office a whole hell of a lot more relaxed. We ate dinner and he lectured me about being safe in Chicago. He even offered me his gun, is he insane? I need to get on an airplane! Anyway, I’m now back at my apartment and I already miss him immensely. I’m packing only the essentials for my short trip.I’m actually pretty nervous about these upcoming meetings, I’m so new that I’ll probably be the laughingstock amongst everyone but what can I do? I was asked to go, I didn’t volunteer. I pack the last of my things and text Steph to meet me at the airport at 5:00 AM. I dread that we have to leave that early but I have the first meeting tomorrow at 3 o’clock. I climb into bed, get all cozy, and fall fast asleep but not for long. The extremely vivid dream of X nailing Dani and me walking in on it has shot me upward in bed with sweat beading at my hairline. My heart rate and breathing are rapid, I need to call him. I grab my phone from o
37 Days Supporting the mess
POVStephanie Gross, just fucking gross. I did not sign up for this shit, two minutes into the flight and she gets sick. We’re now three hours in with about an hour left. After Millie vomited and disposed of the nasty bag she fell asleep. The god-awful smell lingered for a half hour afterward and the little bitch sitting next to her has been complaining left and right about it. I’m refraining from giving her a piece of my mind. As Millie is mouth open snoring I continue on with my dark romance novel about some girl getting kidnapped, falls in love with her dangerous kidnapper and they fuck in the kinkiest of ways. I shouldn’t have started this novel because all I want to do right now is to replicate some of these sex scenes with Julian. I suppose I’ll have something to look forward to when we get back. The captain announces our arrival to Chicago will be shortly so I shake Millie awake. She’s got drool on the corner of her mouth, this bitch is a mess. “Mills, get yourself toget
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