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37 Days Gummy bear
POV Millie Of course, the pregnancy test comes back positive so I’m sent down with that dark-haired nurse again down the long hallway to get an ultrasound. I feel like my legs could betray me at any step and allow me to fall to the ground. The dark-haired nurse opens the door to the ultrasound room, “this is Emily, she needs a dating for early pregnancy,” she tells the ultrasound technician. The tech takes some papers from dark-haired nurse and leaves the two of us. “Hi Emily, I’m Nina, have you ever had an ultrasound before?” She asks so sweetly but I’m not falling for that shit again. I shake my head. Nina explains to me how it’ll all go and that she’ll explain things throughout the process. I lay down on my back as she gets things prepared for the ultrasound. She squeezes some gel-like substance on a probe-like device and faces the screen between her and me. I’m indifferent about this, I don’t think I even want to see, I want to close my eyes and pretend this isn’t my reali
37 Days Dropping the bomb
POVXI place glasses into the sink, throw away cans of beer, and tidy up whatever else got messed up over the weekend. I spent all of yesterday sleeping. I drank way too fucking much Friday and Saturday night. The partying didn’t end until six in the morning yesterday. I feel like a corpse at this point but Millie will be coming over soon and the last fucking thing I want or need is a fight. Saturday night Antonio, Julian, and Dani came over after a night at the club. When I say Antonio could party, he could fucking party. We stayed up into the early hours drinking to the point of forgetting our names. Millie would probably be disappointed but I didn’t do anything other than drink too much that would upset her. I was a good boy, kept to myself, and immediately shooed away any female that tried to get too close. I fucking miss Millie, which still feels strange considering it’s a new feeling for me. We didn’t talk or text much while she was gone, which put me on fucking edge all wee
37 Days Convince me otherwise
POVMillie As soon as the words leave my mouth he goes white but there, I said it. I planned the whole thing out in my head and then with Steph on our way here but that obviously went to shit. It was going to be delicate but no, he was a dick so I decided to be one back. “You’re what?” He whispers like he hasn’t heard the words correctly. “I’m..” but he puts a hand up to stop from saying the words again. He stands up to his full length, “how?” He demands, his appearance changing to grim. “We had unprotected sex X, how else?” I ask but I know he’s ignoring me. “How far along?” He asks through angry gritted teeth and eyes losing pigment. “Between seven and eight weeks,” I say intertwining my fingers together on my lap, palms collecting moisture.“Are you sure it’s even mine?” His words tear through me like a slow-motion jagged knife. “What?!” I ask standing up myself now. “Did you fuck Nico? Chase? Or some other fucking prick?” He asks, the white flesh turning red. “You’re jok
37 Days Fucked
POVXI watch her leave and then she’s gone but I haven’t moved an inch in minutes. Then convince yourself to forget you ever met me. The fuck I will..that’s like asking me to survive without oxygen. I don’t want a fucking baby, it’s a bad idea. I knew one day she’d come asking for one but fuck I didn’t know it’d just happen out of the blue like that. I release myself from the stone position I’m in and sit on the couch with my elbows resting on my lap and my head occupying my hands. “Fuck!” I say aloud to myself. I want to go after Millie and tell her everything will be fine, that I can do this for her and whatever she wants in life I’ll deliver it, but I don’t. I don’t do it because like I’d said before, we are not living in a fairytale. …It’s now the next night and I haven’t talked to Millie since she left yesterday but I also haven’t reached out either. Julian throws a pillow at the side of my head from the other side of the couch. “What the fuck man!” I yell and throw it
37 Days The things I’ll remember
POV Millie I’m a shell of a person. The guy I saw yesterday was nothing more than a vile creature. I can understand it was a surprise of a revelation but my god, did he have to be so eerily cruel? I stare up at the blotchy white ceiling in my bedroom as I’m sprawled on top of the white comforter with jumbled thoughts. I haven’t talked to X since yesterday and although that hurts me, I’m pissed at him and he could shove it where the sun don’t shine. Asshole..“I guess it’s us against the world little gummy bear,” I speak to my belly and rub it. The sun has long set but I’m not tired, not even a little. I turn on the Bachelor but it’s just not doing it for me right now, I can’t concentrate. I don’t know where X and I stand anymore and it’s eating me alive. I won’t sacrifice this child to please him and he’s set on not wanting one so where does this leave us? As if he can read my mind I get a text from him. X: yo!!!! Needa talk Uhhh..Me: Okay, when? X: I dnt no Is he drunk?
37 Days In or out
POVMillie I tap my blue pen against my desk at work. I’m finding it to be a habit whenever something is weighing on my mind, which happens to be often lately. Last night I left right after X fell asleep, I found no use in being there in his presence. Yes, he revealed some truth about why he doesn’t want a baby but I’m sure as hell he won’t be giving that information out sober. I still don’t know where we stand so I decide it’s finally time we have a conversation about this. I text him. Me: hey can we talk tonight? X: ya Nice, he’s being short with me..great start. Me: I’ll come right after work if that’s okay X: k What is his deal? When I finish up at work I drive to X’s house feeling indifferent as I sit in traffic. By the time I get there, I’m nervous about how this talk will go, and if this motherfucker thinks I’m gonna just let the whole Dani being there thing go he’s got another thing comin'. I knock at his door and within seconds he’s opening it. Goddamn, my hormones
37 Days It’s on
POV Millie It’s now Saturday morning and I’ve been invited by Mia to the annual Fourth of July party at the house. It’s on the beach and apparently the best party of the year with BBQ, swimming, music and fireworks. I’m a little apprehensive about going because X and I are on…interesting terms. The last few days have been off-kilter between us. I try to give him the space he needs to process everything that’s happening in our life right now but it’s still kinda awkward. For my sake, he’s trying. He asked me to send him the ultrasound pictures the other day which was pretty shocking to me and although I wanted to pry and ask why, I didn’t. My hopes are that he’s feeling connected to the image just as much as I, starting to accept what’s to come. We went out to lunch yesterday and he never brought up the whole Fourth of July party. I brought it up to him and he said he wasn’t planning on going, he thinks it’s lame but when I told him I got invited and was planning to go he changed h
37 Days Happy fuckin’ 4th
POVXHappy fucking Fourth of July, okay not really, it’s July 2nd but who wants to party on a Monday? So today we celebrate..which is the last fucking thing I want to do because I don’t feel like being annoyed by a bunch of drunk assholes. I was going to forget the whole thing altogether but of course, Millie caught wind of it and wanted in on the party, I don’t know why because she can’t even drink which is worse than being drunk at these parties. There’s no way in hell I’d let her be here at this or any party without me so naturally I’m sitting here sweating my balls off. Since I’m so patriotic I’m dressed in dark blue jeans, and a white shirt and I even changed my nose ring to a red one for the occasion, oh yeah and I'm also wearing a black hat with an American flag on it, backward may I add just for a certain someone. It’s all a show, logically I had to since I guess I’m the host? Bad fucking idea with the jeans, it’s hot as shit out today. I could easily go change out of them
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