Chapter 1 - Julian

"Julian?", Willow calls from behind us.

I spin around and come face to face with a dishevelled Willow. Her eyes aren't on me though, they're focusing on Julian.

"Are you leaving me?", she asks softly. Her voice sounds hoarse from all the crying. Her hunched shoulders make her look like a sad pup.

[Excerpt from Second Time Lucky, Sophia's POV (W*****d) – No you don't need to read it to understand this story]

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Willow's doe eyes stare right at me. Her gaze is unwavering. She bites her bottom lip in an effort not to cry, but it's not working. Her emotions are fragile right now, she just saw her brother die right in front of her. To make matters worse, the guilt is eating her up.

When we got the news that her brother was dead, she collapsed into my arms and kept on repeating how it was all her fault. I tried to soothe her best I could, but I wasn't really that good at that sort of thing.

Of course, I still felt irrelevant when she ran to her family and they were able to give her the comfort that I couldn't, she was my mate after all. But watching her with them made me realize that she was better off here with them. She was too pure for my world.

That's why I was going to leave. If Sophia hadn't tried to stop me, I would have been able to leave without Willow noticing.

Now my mate is standing before me with tears rimming her eyes. Her nose is red and her sensual mouth is all puffy. She still looks beautiful. It tears at my heart to think about leaving her, but I just don't see how we would work out. I'm a rogue. I've done terrible things. 

If I hadn't touched Willow's face and found out that she was my mate, I would have passed her around for all the other rogue males to use her as they pleased. The thought makes me feel nauseous. It just proves that I'm not good for her.

She's still young and gorgeous; she'll have no problem finding someone more suitable for her.

"You can't go too", her sweet voice says.

I shove my hands into my pockets, trying to fight my primal instincts and not mark her on the spot. It's not an easy task denying my wolf. For the last five years, I've been relying on his nature to make decisions to keep us both alive and now I'm denying him.

Aside from her not fitting into my world, I feel slightly guilt-ridden. Essentially it is my fault that this has happened.

I brought death here; it seemed to follow me wherever I went. If I hadn't gone through with my revenge plan, she would be happy now. Her life wouldn't have changed. She most likely would be laughing and smiling – not that I would know, I would never get to see her face light up with such emotions.

"It's better this way."

She sniffs loudly and uses the back of her hand to wipe her nose. "So are you going to reject me then?"

My wolf desperately tries to claw his way into control. He knows my thoughts and he doesn't agree with them. But he sees things differently. It's no concern of his that she won't fit into the life of a rogue leader's mate. He just wants to claim her and impregnate her.

I don't want to reject her. However, I don't want to mark her either and force her into such a dark life.

"No I won't reject you," I find myself saying.

The sadness in her eyes disappears and is replaced with anger.  "You won't reject me, but you're leaving? Are...are you going to come back?"

"No," I reply in an uncaring tone. What I really want to say is yes. Yes I will come back.

Her eyes well up with more tears. "Why are you doing this to me?" she cries. "My brother just died! And my own mate wants to leave me too? Are you really that heartless?"

My lips draw back in a silent snarl. If that's what she needs to believe then so be it. It wouldn't do any good trying to change her mind.

Her lower lip trembles as the silence grows. Tears are streaming down her cheeks but she makes no sound.

My heart clenches painfully, but it is to be expected. I am willingly hurting my own mate and I don't even have the guts to tell her why.

I want to apologize and take her in my arms. I know how content I felt when I did hold her. For the first time in a long while, I truly felt at peace. Good things never last though.

It would be so much easier to just reject her, but I can't bring myself to say the words. The longer I stay staring at her, the more likely my resolve will crumble. So I just walk away.

My legs feel shaky, but I will myself not to stumble.

"If you leave," my mate says shakily. "Don't come back."

My heart breaks. I can feel the organ shatter and burst within the cavities of my chest. The shards dig painfully into my soul. It isn't a rejection, but it sure feels like one.

I continue my walk until I'm in the forest and out of my mate's territory. With every step I take, my wolf howls in agony. He just wants his mate.

I block him out of my mind completely and focus on my path. I have no destination in mind. That is until I get a whiff of my sister's scent. She smells the same, not that I expected it to change.

Her mate just died and she's leaving. Somethings never change.

When I learnt that she was the one who betrayed us five years ago, all I felt was hatred for her.

My mother had passed away and my father became weak. His position as Alpha was challeneged as his leadedship got worse over the years.

Wolves took advantage of his grief and overthrew him. My sister and I were allowed to stay as Omega's but declined. My father was the only family we had left.

Once his grief dissipated, he became hell-bent on getting revenge. He was blinded by the need to prove his power and rallied together a pack of rogues. Sophia and I had no choice but to follow him. My father reached the point of no return. We tried countless times to get him to stop his attacks on innocent packs, but he wouldn't budge.

In a way I guess I understood Sophia's abandonment, but I couldn't bring myself to forgive her.

The day we attacked the next targeted pack, they had already been alerted of our arrival. There were only eight of us that survived that day.

It didn't take a genius to figure out Sophia was behind it. On our journey to the pack I wondered why she lingered behind when she was usually part of the leading group; she just said she was tired. She lied. She just wanted to be able to slip out unnoticed.

I not only hated my sister, I also felt hurt. I was her brother and she didn't tell me about her plan. She didn't stop to think about how it would affect me. I not only hated her because her actions killed our father, I hated her because she subjected me to a life that I never wanted.

The remaining seven rogues appointed me as their new leader. My guilt made me accept the position even though I didn't want it. It was because of my sister that they all lost their families. And that's when the revenge plan started.

They were going to kill my sister and in a turn of events, I also happened to meet my mate on that fateful day. Her brother was mated to my sister and he played a very big role in getting Sophia to come to us.

But our plan failed and he died. So did most of the rogues.

The only remaining female after the ambush five years ago, was named Nareena. Her mate had died and she was the one who had started the talk of revenge on my sister. In a way she poisoned me against her.

We became lovers. She had lost her mate, I hadn't found mine yet. We were both two red-blooded wolves who needed an outlet that we found in each other.

The wickedness she had in her eyes every time she spoke about how she was going to kill my sister was unnerving, but I cared for her so I didn't think much of it. I let her in on a plan I was going to execute once revenge had been extracted.

I was going to take back my father's old pack and I promised that she would be my Luna. That was the first time I ever saw something other than spite in her eyes.

But I didn't plan on finding my mate. My innocent, doe-eyed beauty; Willow.

Nareena had overheard Willow's brother, Kai, berating me about killing my mates pack. I knew that she felt intimidated by Willow. I just didn't think that she would have actually tried to kill her.

But she did. With a silver laced knife.

I've never felt as helpless in my life as I did when I ran to Willow and watched the knife fly through the air, too far away to do anything.

Her brother was the one who ended up saving her and it ultimately led to his death.

I stop abruptly in my tracks.

Something that I hadn't considered at all pops into my mind.

Nareena wanted to kill Willow, but she didn't get to. Nareena's body wasn't among the bodies that I looked at. So she isn't dead and that means she's going to try and kill my mate again. I know exactly how devious she is. She's more detached from emotions than I am.

My heart beat picks up as the realization sets in – I left Willow behind thinking it was the best option. She doesn't even know that she has a target on her back.

The urge to be beside her is too hard to ignore. For my own peace of mind I just need to see that she's safe.