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it was a long ass

It was a long-ass night.

A long-ass, frustrating night.

I laid awake, fitfully turning in bed for over an hour, replaying the scene over and over in my head.

Fuck this.

Him slamming me against the wall, kissing me, stroking me, tantalizing me –

The stench of a dozen other women’s perfume –

I’ve always wanted YOU, Kaitlyn. Just you.

My final refusal –

You want me? I’m yours. But YOU let me know.

It all seemed like a dream.

An incredibly hot, but incredibly disturbing dream.

Why did I have to say ‘no’? Wasn’t that exactly the thing I’d fantasized about for years – him forcefully pinning me against the wall, taking me, ravishing me?

I knew why I’d said ‘no,’ of course. The smell. The perfume. I couldn’t get past it.

Why did he have to dance with those women? Why?

Why did he have to flaunt it in my face?

Why couldn’t we have just left immediately after the concert and come here?

He could have been in my arms right now.

He could have been inside me RIGHT NOW.

I was so hot and bothered I
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