I was back here in this cozy office that had been my solace for the last couple of months. As usual, he had a bag of chips set aside for him. I had to believe I was one of his favorite clients with how he made me so comfortable whenever my session came around."You mentioned last time that he had cheated on you several times.""Yes he did,""How did this make you feel?" Dr Murrow asked as I ended my narration. "Lost." That was the first thing that came to my mind when it happened. I felt lost, like I was sinking in a hole somewhere where no one could find me."I did not get to experience what a normal relationship felt like but then cheating was not something I expected from him especially not in the first year of our marriage. For his mother, I don't know what I was thinking when I reached out to her, she never liked me so why did I even bother?" I let out a humorless chuckle as I thought about it."What did you expect from him?" He asked."I expected something cliche." I laughed. "
Third trimester struggles were a different ball game altogether. The backaches, heaviness, going to pee every five minutes! I was over this phase already. I just wanted to have my son and catch a break. I knew being a new mom was a lot as well but I just wanted this child to come out of me already. I was getting heavier by the day, I could not make dresses any longer, I felt too lazy to get anything done, I could not even sleep well, let's not forget how difficult it is to even get a good sleeping position. No one told me it was like this. But then when I sat to properly reflect on it, it was a cute struggle all the same. I could not complain because this was what I wanted all those years ago.I let out a shaky breath as a sudden cold ran up my spine at the reminder of those terrible days. How the procedures went, the pain, the hurt and recurring dashes of hope. It was better to avoid the thought of it, it was in the past."No negative thoughts Aurora," I chanted to myself as I went
We were still in the hospital. The doctors had to ensure that everything was alright before giving us the clear to go home. My baby was asleep for the most part of the day but at night, it was a different ball game. I could not count the number of times I had to feed him. Every time I just had to because that was the only way to shush him.When we got discharged a couple of days of later. River and I understood that things just got real. Having a baby in the house was a whole different ball game. There were times I would sleep off and forget that I had a baby and his startling cries would have me wondering whose child it was that was tearing down the walls of the house, only to remember that it was my offspring.I loved the scent of him. The smell of a newborn and all their products had a calming fuzzy feeling that came with it. I loved everything about being a mother and somehow I wanted this phase to last as long as it could.Whenever I lifted him up and saw his newborn scrunch,
I woke up startled. Rubbing on my eyes furiously, I opened them and glanced at the time. It was a little past midnight.I just had the craziest dream...I was in a car and I just kept hearing the cry of a baby. There was no child in the vehicle when I looked but it would not stop ringing in my ears. So I stopped the car and looked everywhere for where the cry was coming from and could not find anything. I walked further into what seemed like a park and found a cradle. The sound seemed like it was coming from there and just as I was about to get to the cot, I woke up.I hardly ever dreamt about anything so something like this was strange. "What could this mean?" I asked myself in a haze of confusion before my eyes fell on Natalie who was asleep next to me. I immediately wondered if she was pregnant. But then I shook my head, it wasn't possible. I used protection every time I was with her no matter how many times we had to go at it. Sometimes she wanted it raw but I never agreed. I ma
Life in itself can be such a rigmarole. Everyone has a turning point. An experience that could change the course of your entire life can happen in a split second and most of the time, there is nothing you can do about it. You just sit and watch because struggling against the tide might drown you.Whenever I get to look back at what my life was and all the lessons it had taught me, I can only let out a sigh of exhaustion and exasperation. Why do some people seem luckier than others?I was a young, naive twenty year old who had no direction, living with old money parents who believe everything is a transaction - even marriage. One very fateful morning, a business associate of my parents came to visit. I was carefree, having a good laugh with my helps in the garden as they tended to my hair - the luscious waves that were the only thing I could be proud of when it came to my physical attributes. My father had one of his guards come to alert me of our visitors. I got on my feet and follow
"You're seriously going to make me wear makeup?" I asked my mother that evening, shocked and amazed at how serious things were getting."Yes. I'm just going to touch up your face a little bit." "Mother,""Shhh. You have to look your best and give a good first impression." She shushed me."But-" I wanted to insist."Hush young lady, you know I'm right."I clamped my mouth shut and let her do what she wanted. There was no point in arguing with her anyway.When she was done, she marveled at the work of her hands. And even I was impressed at what she had done. I looked really good. The mild makeup enhanced my looks so well and brought out the greenness of my orbs.I stayed up in my room, looking out from my window that faced the entrance of our estate. I was waiting to see for myself when our guests would arrive. I wanted to know the kind of car they drove as well as catch a glimpse of the man I was to marry before officially meeting him.I sat there and waited, calming my nerves with a
"He did what? He's an asshole." River said furiously when I told her about how dinner went the previous night."I agree." I said. "But then it's not his fault."She shook her head vehemently, "Oh no, you're not going to blame yourself for being set up to marry a disrespectful jerk.""Maybe I'm being set up and forced on him because no one really wants to marry me." I muttered sadly."Aurora trust me, you are so beautiful, men would topple over each other for you. You just don't get out enough." River always said this. Sometimes I believed her, other times I didn't.Being a homebody meant me not wanting to go out even if I had a chance to. In my case however, I did not get a chance to."There's no point now." I was slowly resigning to fate. "Ohh," she tsked. "It's going to be alright." She came around and hugged me.I nodded. I did not actually believe that but River liked to be positive and I just wanted to avoid another pep talk. "He's kinda cute though." She said cheekily. Of cour
"We are choosing a classic wedding theme." "That is too basic Lauren." Mother disagreed with a vigorous head shake.Leo's mother scoffed, "Rose Gold is childish. We have people of caliber attending." My mother's face contorted into a deep frown, "So do we."I sat still, eyes darting between both women as they argued. I wanted to melt into a puddle. They had been at this for the longest. One person always disagreeing with the other's opinion and I had to sit through it."Can we just let the planner get it done?" I squeaked and recoiled when they both turned to me with fierceness in their gazes."My husband is paying for the wedding. So I get to work with the planner." Mother said and I cringed because of how it sounded. It was not unusual for the bride's father to pay for the wedding but in this manner where it was part of their business deal, it was just embarrassing to mention."My husband can pay for two weddings at once so shush." Leo's mother was not having it.Neither was my mo