Love?, I know you not

....

"Not all stories have their damn happy endings, and sometimes the ones that we actually claim to be "Happy", are literally the ones that lies the most shitty pain....

So is love really worth it, huh?

....

"I want to go home" I mumbled under my breath with so much pain and anger, as I kept on staring blankly outside...

"Am sorry it's didn't work out like expected" His warm voice called out, but still that didn't make me feel any less bitterness...No never!...

I bet he doesn't even have an idea of the shit I go through every darn day because of those bloody bastards....

They all fled after they made mom decide to end her shitty life, I ain't gonna spare them now, it's going to be either I die, or they will, either way, No one would ever make it out alive, No one....

"Ivy....Are you okay?" His voice reluctantly pulled me out of my misery, as I kept on staring blankly outside the window....

"Just drive" I mumbled under my breath, with so much lifelessness already in my bitter voice ...

"Look, am sorry"....

"Damn, would you stop saying that shit already" I yelled out angrily....

I....

"Just take me home, please, I need to calm down" I pleaded frustratedly, as I kept on staring at the already darken sky, that matches perfectly with my hole fixed heart, but now there wasn't actually a word from him, as slowly guilt hit me right on the chest....

"Am sorry I yelled out at you" I confessed, still feeling so frustrated with every shitty thing that was actually happening, as I stared blankly at him, as a little smile creeped right on the corner of his lips...

"I just want you to know one thing....That I understand what this actually means to you"...

His voice echoed right into my heart, as I immediately stared at him, with so much confusion and emotions rushing down to me, making a little blank frown appear on my face....

"As much as I hate to admit this, She's damn right, you shouldn't really be helping a girl like me" I blurted out, staring blankly straight into his already widen eyes, cause I actually heard the shit that happened there, when they thought that I had finally left....

"I....

"Stay away from me, cause I am a psycho" I replied, still staring coldly at him, as he kept on fixing his gaze right on mine....

"I can't" He blurted out, after some minutes of silence, as I frown my face the more....

"Why?"....

"Cause I like you that way" He mumbled silently, as a little smile slowly creeped on his face, before finally starting the car, as I stayed in absolute confusion for some damn minute....

His words, I hate it, I mumbled under my breath, before slowly drifting my gaze back at him....

"Can I ask a question" I blurted out, as he quickly glance at me, before drifting his gaze back on the road, as he quickly nodded his head gently, as I kept on staring at him blankly...

"Why did you tell her that we were siblings, instead of just two random people" I blurted out, as he immediately arched one of his eyebrows, but decided to still keep calm...

"Cause we aren't just two random people" He mumbled silently, as I kept on staring at him confusedly....

"Still you could have said that"...

"But I choose not to"....

"Why?" I asked almost too quickly, as he immediately stopped the car under a little tree shade, as I questioningly stared back at his face blankly....

"Why did you stop" I stared at him, with an obvious frown on my face....

"Do you want a honest answer" He said, staring straight into my eyes, as I slowly nodded my head uncertainly....

"Of course" I blurted out, as half of my brain kept on waiting for what he had actually wanted to spill out now, as I kept on staring blankly straight into his eyes....

"I guess i was actually just been protective of you, I just can't tell that or any random stranger your actual name"...

He mumbled as he kept on staring at me, with a little smile on his face, before slowly placing my hand on his, as he gave it a gentle squeezed, as I kept on staring blankly at him, cause I didn't actually know what to say next...

"Is that the only reason" I asked, after some minutes of silence, as I kept on staring at him blankly, still so unsure of what I actually just voiced out..

"Well I kinda also guess that some day, I'll end up getting married to you and it would be really awkward if I had said your actual name now", He blurted out, as I kept on staring at him...

"Why are you so sure about the marriage" I asked with a mixture of anger and so many emotions racing inside my black heart ...

"Shouldn't I be?" He asked, still holding my hand firmly, as I stared right into his light eyes lifelessly.....

"You'll end up getting disappointed" I mumbled with grit teeth, as I little smile slowly flashed across his face....

"I don't care if you refuse me now, I would already keep on trying" His words rang into my brain, as I pressed my lips together blankly....

"There's no place in my darn heart for love and nothing can change that, not now, not ever, cause it's bitter"... I mumbled, staring bitterly into his eyes.....

"But you always have a choice to decide"....

"No, I don't" I replied, quickly looking away, as I pressed my lips together angrily...

"All I want is revenge and that's all" I mumbled angrily back at him, but deep down it's strangely felt like I was trying to convince myself of something I really wasn't so sure of....

"Are you falling in love with me?" He asked straight longingly into my eyes, as I my eyes quickly drifted away from his....

"I want to go home" I mumbled silently, looking away frustratedly.....

"You didn't answer my question" His voice echoed out, as I kept on staring away....

"Take me home, or l leave myself" I replied coldly, as he slowly let go of my hand, before finally starting the engines once again.....

The remaining ride home was in absolute silence, as I slowly hopped off from his car to quickly leave ...

"Wait.....I could hear his voice calling out faintly, as I hesitantly turned around to meet his light eyes once again...

"Love just happens and you can't stop it" He blurted out with a little faint smile on his face, before immediately driving away, vanishing into thin air, leaving me doom with my own damn thoughts....

What the fuck did he actually meant by that shit, I yelled out angrily, as I tried convincing my damn heart to just forget the shit he just said, but no, it didn't, as I kicked a peeble angrily....

Arghhh, why does his words seems to have a shitty effect on me, I thought for a brief second, as I rubbed my head angrily.....

He want me to feel this fucking way, he actually wanted me to, but I guess that he would be so disappointed cause, I can never fall in love, cause one thing is to fall in love and the next thing is heartbreak...

Mom's love story never really did end happily now did it, so why on shitty earth do I want to witness the same thing, No never....

He's wrong, cause if love seems to want to come into the picture, then kill it and focus on what you actually want and that's blood thirsty revenge...

it's all I want and it's all I ever desire, there's simply no place for love in revenge, it just so impossible, I thought frustratedly, before finally heading home, with my boiling angry self.....