|FIVE YEARS AGO|
The shifting ceremony.It was a ritual that went back thousands of years, a custom my pack members took seriously and a duty to young wolves...or were-teens as we were fondly called.Young teenagers of shifting age would assemble in a large clearing close to the pack house, and once the moon was at its highest peak, our true forms would come out and we would officially become true wolves. It was a ceremony for both pride and bravery, to show off our strength and courage so others could see that we did not need to be ashamed of our true forms.I was excited as any normal she-wolf would have been on the day of my shifting ceremony. A young wolf, ready to shift for the first time- an opportunity I knew I would never get again. "Will I have to go naked?" I asked my sister for the umpteenth time, my excited eyes meeting hers through the mirror. My sister, who was only four times older than me but still looked like a teenager in her short black dress and long silver hair. She rolled her eyes good-naturedly, "No." She said simply. Her voice was laced with humor, we had discussed this particular topic several times, yet I still thought it was necessary to ask. Like her answer might change in one minute."You'll only strip down to your underwear, nobody wants to see your boobs," She tickled my side playfully, making me squeal loudly, "But yeah, if you want to go bare, just take off all your clothing."No way!" I laughed, pushing her away from me, trying to regain control over my giggles.She returned to styling my hair, humming to herself as she did. As she worked her fingers through my thick blonde hair, I ran over the things I would do once I shifted. My best friend, Judy, and a few other wolves had already made plans to run past the forbidden cliffs, stopping just short of the borders. It was supposed to be our biggest adventure ever, even though everyone knew there were too many dangerous things lurking beyond the edge of the forest. But it was our only chance to do something wild, something exciting and unadulterated by fear or guilt. Something to remember the moment forever...a reminder of tonight."I want to have your color of wolf," I said aloud, watching my sister's reaction through the mirror. She scrunched her nose, a sign that showed she didn't appreciate my choice, "That's not a very beautiful color." She dropped the hairbrush on the table, spinning me so I was facing her.As I stared into her blue eyes, a shade identical to mine, I finally realized what Judy meant when she said that Dahlia and I were two peas in a pod. We looked too similar, from the color of our hair to the shape of our noses, even our facial structure was the same. The only thing you could use to tell us apart were the moles on the side of Dahlia's nose.While we took pleasure in pranking our pack members, I sometimes found it annoying that they always saw us as a mirror image and often compared her to me. Sure, Dahlia was stronger, faster, and more graceful than I was. It didn't mean that I was no better, either."I hope you get Mom's color." She whispered, her hand stroking the side of my head, "Maybe a lighter shade of grey would do. It would look absolutely beautiful."I nodded in agreement, opening my mouth to ask her why she didn't like her wolf's color since everyone, including myself, found it attractive. "Why don't-"The door flew open, revealing our father with a large toolbox in hand, "What are you girls still doing here? The ceremony is about to start!"He shouted impatiently.I shot up from the stool, my gaze wide in surprise, "But it's not supposed to start until another hour or two."He scoffed, switching the large box to his other hand, "The moon has almost risen, Em. Chop, chop, go before you miss it!"I rolled my eyes, grabbing my jacket and wrapping it around myself like a cape, before following my father out the doorway."Good luck, Em," Dahlia said softly as I stepped outside.The wind whipped my cheeks, bringing fresh tears to my eyes, and I blinked them quickly to keep them at bay before running to catch up with my father. The sky was completely dark, stars were visible only through the clouds. The moon itself was bright, it was nearly full phase, and there would soon be a light glow, casting down on the new shifters. It made me shiver just thinking about it.When we arrived at the clearing, I was surprised to see that half of the pack had already gathered there. I could even spot my mother standing in the front row, along with Luna Maya and her son, George. I discreetly waved at her and she shot me a warm smile. I returned my gaze to the circle, which was really a large circle drawn onto the ground with coal.Inside it, people stood, waiting patiently. I recognized several familiar faces, such as Kade and Judy. My father placed a hand on my shoulder and I paused, raising my head to look at him. He simply stared at me for a few moments, his hard brown eyes accessing, until he spoke, "Good luck."I watched quietly as he walked away, going to stand over beside the Alpha, his position as the Beta of the pack meant that he was the Alpha's, right-hand man. Sighing, I went over to join my peers inside the circle, my heart pounding in excitement. I quickly shrugged off my clothes just like the rest had done, leaving me in only my black bralette and my shorts. Judy nudged me with her elbow, and gave me a questioning look, "Where have you been?" She whispered."Dahlia was fixing my hair," I whispered back."You know your hair won't matter once you shift right." She whispered again, pointing to her own messy updo.I muffled my laughter, covering my mouth with a hand, "Shut up, Judy." She snorted, shaking her head slightly. When I returned my gaze to the crowd, I saw that the Luna was already looking in our direction, and she had a disapproving glare fixed on me. I tried not to fidget under her stare but felt my heart skip a beat.After a few minutes of waiting, the Alpha's voice boomed across the clearing, "Welcome everyone, the time has come yet again for our young wolves to fully come into themselves. This is the final night of their lives as humans, and they must now learn how to properly transform into their true animal forms." His loud voice echoed through the air as everyone listened intently, "Tonight is their turning. They will have to face their true forms, something every young wolf fears for their entire lives. Their first shift is a life-changing moment, an instant of vulnerability when their true nature begins to surface. To let loose of their humanity and become the natural beasts that they truly are." With those words, the Alpha lowered himself slowly down into a crouching position in front of us, a small wooden box in his hands. Opening it gently, he pulled out a small beautiful dagger, holding it in front of him. His expression was serious, his eyes trained on us, he continued talking, "With my blood, shall you rise." His voice rang out clear and strong, echoing throughout the clearing and reaching even the furthest edges of the forest. And then, he thrust the blade forward in a slow arch, slicing his flesh open. Blood seeped down the length of his arm, coating his skin in scarlet drops. He moved back, raising his arms towards the sky, his head thrown back and eyes closed, "Moon Goddess, bless your children with your gift."Everyone chanted after him and I felt it, a tingling sensation creeping through my body. My legs began to shake beneath me and I held my breath as my body became engulfed in a white light. I gasped for breath, my eyes squeezed shut, my ears filled with a low ringing sound, the sound of rushing blood through my veins. My whole body ached, my joints protesting the movement as I stretched my limbs and tried to move. My muscles twitched and burned, begging me to lie down. I fell to my knees, a loud groan ripping through my throat.My body convulsed violently, my legs jerked, and all I heard was a high-pitched whine. My vision blurred and black spots appeared in my vision, causing my breathing to quicken uncontrollably. It was so bad, I couldn't even breathe properly anymore. A burning pain consumed my entire lower half and I couldn't help the scream that escaped me, Dahlia lied to me. My mother lied to me. They'd told me that when I transformed, it would only be a stinging pain. This was much worse, I felt like I was being torn into two.My fingernails throbbed painfully and my teeth started to elongate and sharpen, growing longer and sharper. To stop the pain, my fingers began digging into the dirt with a desperate need for relief, my nails cutting deeply into the earth and leaving small indents as the blood poured out of the cuts I made.My back arched and I threw my head backward, a grotesque howl erupting from my throat and I collapsed onto the dirt. All at once, everything stopped, leaving me in total silence. For a moment, I couldn't hear or feel anything. It felt like my body and mind had turned silent.I heard someone call my name. I heard several shouts of panic and I wondered if I had shifted. I wondered what color my wolf would be.My eyes fluttered open, staring at a dull gray sky. My body shook and I whimpered in agony. Every part of my body hurt and every inch of it was covered with a thick layer of sand. It seemed that I'd spent most of my life buried alive.My eyes began to adjust to the darkness and the first thing I saw was a large grey wolf in front of me, I groaned, turning to the side, My eyes widened when instead of fur, I was met with my bare skin. My chest heaved and I took in deep breaths to try and calm down. My body was trembling so much that I couldn't even sit properly, I couldn't seem to control my limbs.I brought my hands forward and sure enough, long sharp claws extended from my fingertips. I brought a clawed finger up to touch the sharp tip of one of my canines, wincing at the feeling. As I dragged my finger over my bottom lip, a sharp sting pierced my tongue. I bit down on it trying to soothe the painful feeling as I sat up slowly."No." My tone was filled with dismay. Around me, each of my peers had shifted fully into their animal forms, their fur shining with the silvery moonlight. Everyone had completed their transformation. Everyone except me.My eyes met my father's in the crowd, his face gave nothing sway but I knew I had disappointed him. Heavy murmurs swept through the crowd as the Alpha stepped forward, "Shift." He said in a commanding tone and a surge of energy passed through my veins.My legs gave out under me and my knees crashed to the ground, I felt my bones snapping and twisting, my spine arched and I screamed in pain. However, the pain stopped just as quickly as it came, replaced by cold numbness. I raised my head to look at my Alpha, my face pale, my mouth opened and no noise left my lips.His eyes left mine and went to the sky, I followed his line of sight. My heart dropped when I saw it. The moon had completely disappeared from the sky, which meant the ritual was over. "No," My voice shook and my eyes stung in the process.The Alpha simply shook his head dejectedly, "It's too late.""No! You have to do something!" I yelled, my frantic eyes begging my father to intervene.But he didn't even glance my way. He merely turned on his heel and walked away."Disgrace!" I heard someone shout."Abomination." Another yelled. My throat bobbed up and down rapidly, my lips were parted as hot tears flowed freely down my cheeks. How could this have happened? My family line had never experienced this before so why had this happened to me? A half-shifter. A she-wolf with no wolf. My father had told me that wolves like that were better off dead. Now, I was handed that same fate. My eyes looked towards the sky, the dull lighting of the moon was barely visible through the dark clouds. It was almost as if the Moon Goddess was mocking me, handing me a fate that was worse than death."Take her away." I barely acknowledged the voice until I felt arms grab both my upper arms, pulling me forcefully. I didn't fight them, I was aware of where they were taking me to. But I kept my eyes trained on the ground, my heart clenched even tighter when I heard the loud howls of my mates. The sounds cut through me and I broke down sobbing. "Emma!"I jolted at the sound of my name, immediately lifting my head to meet the gaze of my sister. She smiled sadly at me, but I refused to return the expression, still unable to believe it myself. That I had lost my chance forever. I had failed them. The thought made me feel even more despondent, a wave of sadness washing over me. Tears spilled over my already wet cheeks and I turned my face away.As we walked into the tunnel, I gulped nervously.I would make it up to them. My father was a reasonable man, he would know that this wasn't my fault and he would find a cure. He always had a solution for everything.But first, I had to survive tonight.|PRESENT DAY|"Move, you sloth!"I felt another hard push at my lower back, the force causing me to stumble forward. I desperately try to see through the dark material covering my eyes but it was an impossible feat. My sights were completely useless and I only had my senses to rely on.I remained limp against their tight grip, I refused to call for help either. What was the use? No one was going to hear me and even if they did it was more likely that they would ignore rather than help me. "Move faster, bitch." A shrill voice spoke harshly, it was followed by a hard smack on the back of my head. I swallowed back a groan as I stumbled forward again. The jeering laughter of the other wolves followed me along like an escort. My legs trudged against the gravelly path and my nose twitched in recognition, the smell of dirt and fresh leaves permeating into my nostrils. At least, I knew where we were.That was a good thing. It meant that I had an advantage."Stop walking." Another voice, a d
I gasp loudly the moment I reach the surface, my fingers threading into the wet strands of my hair. The water felt cool against my skin, making me shiver despite myself and a smile broke across my lips at the feel of the liquid running down my face. I slowly open my eyes, allowing myself to enjoy this wonderful feeling. It was like waking up in the morning when all your worries seemed to be erased for one day. It was like having all your problems melted away by an invisible sunbeam. This kind of sensation is what makes me wish that maybe...just maybe, things would work out okay.It was why I loved staying on the cliffs, hidden from the rest of the world. This place gave off such a comforting aura, almost like it knew how to soothe my soul. I always came here when I needed some time alone. Sometimes where I didn't have to think about anything else but just the beautiful scenery around me. I squeeze off the excess water from my hair, letting my blonde locks fall messily over my back
My eyes roamed over the many faces walking about, the sky was dark but the luminosity of the moon allowed me to see clearly. As I got closer to the bonfire, where even more people were gathered, the sound of laughter filled my ears and the smell of alcohol and food wafted into my nose. I kept my head low in hopes that no one would recognize me whilst I continued the search for a certain male wolf. In my engrossment, I bumped into someone and stumbled to the side. The person didn't bother trying to catch me. Excuse you.""I'm sorry." We both say simultaneously while I try to right myself, I look up and my eyes widened in recognition,"Judy?" I say in disbelief at the woman in front of me, it had been a while since I last saw her but nothing had changed. She still looked the same, only that there was a youthful countenance to her now.The last time I saw Judy was over three years ago when I was still coming to terms with my disability. Judy was the only person in my pack who had suppor
I'm running. The ground keeps moving under me but I don't know where to run to or what I running from. I try to look for an escape route, but there is no way out. The shadow is closing in on me but my feet don't stop moving. "Run, Emma. Run. run!" A voice yelled and I woke with a startled gasp. My chest rose and fell rapidly with the effort. It was dark, too dark for me to see anything and the smell of earth was thick in the air. I could only hear the steady patter of water dropping against the roof and floor of wherever I was. I wasn't home anymore. This wasn't my bedroom at all. It was then the memories of last night rushed back to me. And the fear that had woken me up came right back. I scrambled to my feet to get away from the darkness of the room. The sudden motion jostled something inside of me and I felt nauseous. I leaned over and vomited on the ground. My hand remained on the jagged rocks of the wall for support as I tried to control my heaving stomach. The taste of
I pushed the door open, and walked into the house, locking it behind me. My hands were still trembling, and I couldn’t seem to get my breathing under control. I needed to sit down or something, I was so afraid—my whole body ached from it. “It’s going to be okay,” I said quietly to myself. I had no idea who I was trying to convince—me or whatever was in my head. I made my way to my room, my eyes glued to the wooden floorboards beneath my feet. All I wanted to do was sleep and forget what had happened earlier. I knew the repercussions, once the Alpha found out about what I had done, he would likely throw me into the cave again. "Emma?"I stopped dead in my tracks and whipped around. My father stood in the doorway leading to the living room, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes narrowed at my appearance, specifically at the blood staining the length of my arms. "Father, I can explain-"He raised a hand, silencing me, "Follow me." He ordered, walking back into the living room and
'Dahlia is pregnant.''And I'm the father.'Those words ring repeatedly in my ears. I feel numb and hollow like there is a gaping hole in my chest. I couldn't bear to look at any of their faces, my legs trembling underneath me."But- how…I mean how did she-""Isn't it obvious? They fucked." My mother's shrill voice cuts through the room, her blue eyes misty with tears. "They fucked and now she won't get the chance of being the Lycan Queen." If I could vomit right this second, I would've done so. My mother was right, I completely forgot about the selection and how much Dahlia was excited about getting picked. What I didn't understand was why George slept with my sister. Yes, they were friends, everyone in the pack knew that, and I assumed that was the height of their relationship.But I was wrong. I was so so wrong.My eyes flitted to their conjoined hands and something in my heart stirred painfully. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see the Luna looking at me, a contrite ex
I stared blankly at the wall in front of me, my mind still too numb to register what'd happened in the last week. My eyes flickered to my sister, watching how her lips and hands moved animatedly as she moved the clothes from the drawer into the suitcase on the bed. I I couldn't help but notice how happy she looked at the moment, her sapphire eyes had a twinkle in them. "Emma?" She crouched in front of me, both hands on my thighs, "Are you okay?" I continue to stare at her, wondering if she couldn't see it. The sadness that settled within. The fear. The uncertainty. Everybody assumed that I was fine with their plan but I was scared, more afraid than I was that night. I would be going to a strange place, meeting strange people and I had to pretend to be someone I was not. No one noticed, not that they cared enough to. "Do I have to leave now? I heard you can skip the preliminaries until a day before the competition." Dahlia chewed on the bottom lip, musing thoughtfully. "It'll be
The car ride took four hours, driving straight east, across the country, past rolling hills and thick forests that stretched on into the distance. We drove through the night, stopping periodically in small towns, sometimes for gas, sometimes because we needed to eat. By the time we arrived in the city, I'd already lost track of which road we were traveling along.I marveled at the scenery as we rode past rows of houses, shops and tall buildings lining the roads. The city bustle was strange in contrast to the mundane simplicity of Silver Spring."Where are we ?" I asked for the umpteenth time, watching as George pulled into a parking lot next to several others and turned the car off."This is Coral Dew, a pack in the eastern region. It's the second largest following the Capital. All the nearest packs around will assemble here for the preliminary tests before heading to the capital city."As we exited the vehicle, I felt the wind rush past my body, refreshing me slightly from the heat