0 | prologue

Love scientist says; is high levels of dopamine and a related hormone, norepinephrine, are released during attraction. These chemicals make us giddy, energetic, and euphoric, even leading to decreased appetite and insomnia – which means you actually can be so "in love" that you can't eat, can't sleep.

In shorter words is also a deep, tender feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship or a sense of oneness.

We all get at least three epic loves, or at least study shows that we do, the first love; childhood love. The all-consuming puppy love, The guy that was the first everything, the first crush, the first few butterflies, the first few blushes, the first few quickly things we do when we're too nervous to interact with someone because you're feeling something bigger than yourself the love that we think lasts forever — but eventually we grow apart we move on.

Then comes the second love; the intense love, these usually comes teen years or maybe young adulthood, but it haunts you regardless, the love that turns your world upside down, it digs into you're insecurities, self-doubt, see through your desires. It's a love so intense you believe in almost anything and you'd never think there's a next — focusing on molding yourself to be the perfect partner. But as we grow, change, the love changes.

The third time is always the charm, the third love, the unconditional love, the one you never see coming, the one you were never looking for, the one that creeps on you and blows the air out of your lungs, the one you can easily call your soulmate. But it's messy, it's ugly, it's often selfish. But caring for them is as involuntarily as breathing. At the end embracing all their imperfections is what makes it all unconditional.

This I how it works; you love until you don't, and if you do love - you'd sacrifice anything and everything to keep that feeling - until your last dying breath, praying to God that you won't get harmed.

But even if you do - you'll do it all over again.

Because that's how love works.

Love comes knocking when you're not expecting it — it creeps upon you, and you can't do anything but welcome it and grow with it, letting it take you places you've never been, praying it doesn't live you in pieces in the end.

But I know it's better to experience the heartbreak knowing you've loved so full it hurts this beautifully instead of not loving at all, unfamiliar with the feeling.

A stranger to love is a stranger to risk, they have no hope, no dreams, no future. A stranger to love is a coward afraid to risk it all and live for the moment. They'll never know how far love can go.

I fell for him right out of the blue. Hearing his voice seeing him smile - he stole my heart and I went wild.

Feeling his touch — tasting his lips, he was heaven-sent. Seeing his soul — the passion I felt was richer than gold.

I loved him the first time — I loved him the last time.

I chose hurt over peace.