My head is just about to explode. Why the fuck did I drink so much last night. In fact I have not stopped since she has been gone and quite frankly I do not give a fuck. Yes I am busy self-destructing and I don't care.
It has been a week now and we no closer than what we were before. I miss her, I am really nothing if I don't have her. The emptiness is killing me, the loneliness is suffocating. How am I supposed to continue living if my reason for reason for living is gone.
I drag my sorry ass downstairs, it is time to sober up again.
Kenton ~”You look like shit.”
Trayton ~”I am glad you so observant.”
Dominic ~”And you smell like a fucking brewery.”
Trayton ~”I am glad your senses are working.”
What is the greatest thing a man can experience? Having what you have been searching for show up on your doorstep. It is true that good things happen to those who wait but damn did I had to wait long.Ava ~”Are you going to stop staring at my stomach and let me in?”Trayton ~”Sorry baby girl, you are just so...big.”Ava ~”You can be glad my hands are swollen or else I would have punched you.”Trayton ~”Come everyone is in the kitchen.”Ava ~”Who would have ever guessed that?”I am a mess, but I am a happy mess. My baby is here and she is here with my other baby, a very very big baby. They are both very big, to think that is how much I missed. I don’t want to miss the rest of it, I can only imagine how big she is
I wake up this morning with crunching in my ear, now I know for a fact that I don't have a dog, which only leaves one person. That person is sitting happily eating a pickle and talking to the baby.Ava ~”Mommy's little girl really loves Nutella doesn't she? Well mommy loves Nutella just as much as my little pumpkin does.”I watch her for a while, it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. The way she is dipping that pickle into that Nutella while holding her other hand on her belly.Trayton ~”Baby girl.”Ava ~”Oh you are awake.”Trayton ~”Crunching pickles kind of has that effect on you.”Ava ~”Sorry baby but Leia was hungry.”Trayton ~”Baby girl
Fate does not ask you what you want, fate knows what is best for you even when you don’t. It determines what comes into your life, everything you need will come to you at the perfect time. Are you meant to lose people you love? I believe that things do not happen by accident but there is a reason for everything that is meant to be. Nothing is ever taken from your hands to punish you but it is only leaving your hands empty for something better to come, something like finding the ones you love.We have just phoned Ava's parents, after a few minutes with her father on the phone, she burst out crying. It's up to me now to convince him that his daughter is alive and that she in front of me. But I need to calm her and baby down first.Trayton ~”Mr Owens please give me a minute, I need to calm her down.”Richard Owens ~”Sure not a problem.”
If there is ever such a thing, then I am feeling it now and that is pure happiness. And giving someone else the same is close enough to give miracles. That is what I have given her, the miracle of life not only for the gift of reuniting a family but also the chance to start our own.She has spoken to her dad each day for the past week but not to her mom yet. I told her baby steps is what it takes, if she wants to meet them one at a time then it is what she needs to do. It is not that she cares less, she just does not do too well when she gets overwhelmed.
There is a very nervous, somewhat amused but mostly worried Ava hovering over me.Ava ~”Trayton.”Doctor ~”Mr DeCarlo.”Ava ~”Baby wake up.”Doctor ~”Mr DeCarlo are you okay?”I slowly start opening my eyes.Trayton ~”What happened?”Doctor ~”You fainted.”Trayton ~”Why? Is everything okay?”That is when it comes back to me.It is twins.Trayton ~”Is it really twins?”Doctor ~”Yes Mr DeCarlo, it is twins.”Trayton ~”Are you
What makes a man decide to change himself? Why make such a radical change in his life? For years it has been all I have known, it was my purpose in life. I believed in my own messed-up way that I made a difference in the world. And now I am willing to give it up.But giving it up does not mean I am going to get your nine-to-five job, no, I have decided to go into business with my lifelong friend. But first I need to convince Ava about it.When I get home they are busy going through color schemes for the babies' room.Trayton ~”Hey baby girl.”Ava ~”Hey you. I see you on that death trap of yours again.”Trayton ~”I had to leave the car for the guys because I wanted to come home. What are you guys doing?”Ava ~”We trying to decide what color to make the babies' room but we can't decide between green or yellow.”Trayton ~”Baby gi
Having the support of the one you love is the only support that matters. To have someone support me in my dreams and my vision, challenge me to be better, to go beyond the average that pulls out the greatness in me and is my biggest fan. Someone that truly loves me will invest and support me even though I have the weirdest ambitions.Today we are going over to Jackson so I can meet the two guys that will become part of my crew. Ava is beyond excited cause she is going to see Kayley's babies. She is sitting on the bed waiting for me to get finished.Ava ~”Baby bugs, we are going to meet your friends today. Are you excited? Mommy is very excited.”Trayton ~”Mommy looks so cute when she is talking to her tummy.”Ava ~”Mommy is talking to baby bugs and not her tummy.”Trayton ~&r
The hardest thing in life is having patience. They say the longer something takes the better the outcome. Well I say it is bullshit.We have been waiting like what seems forever. Everyone is trying their level best to calm me down and assure me that everything is going to be okay. Well I have had enough.Trayton ~”THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON THAT TELLS ME TO CALMDOWN IS GETTING PUNCHED.”Mary ~”Trayton at least sit down then. That racing up and down is not doing your heart any good.”Trayton ~”WHAT THE FUCK DOES WALKING UP AND DOWN GOTTO DO WITH MY HEART?”Kenton ~”Trayton please come with me so we can get coffee.”Trayton ~”NO. DID MOM NOT JUST SAY I AM RACING MY HEART UP AND NOW YOU WANT TO GIVE ME CAFFEINE?”&nb