AlanChaos. I've never truly understood the word until now. I've grown up in a house full of people all talking at the same time. I've had over thirty students yelling at the top of their lungs for a sound proof test the school was doing. I've been in a circle of both equal parts nervous and excited football players, preparing themselves for the big game. I've had noise, I've had excitement, I've had an uncontrolled environment. What I've never had, is chaos.I get in the car and drive after the ambulance carrying the woman of my dreams. My mind a flurry of thoughts and images of every moment we have ever spent together. I thought when detective Stephanson told me, Laynie and Jared the entire story of Anna's past, that I was heartbroken then, but nothing is compared the pain I feel in this moment.Thoughts of this morning come rushing back to me as I arrived at Jared's home. Detective Stephanson was there, I had recognized him from when Jared and Laynie were attacked last year i
AnnaSix Years Later"Sweetheart can you tell your father to come in here and grab the steaks?" Laynie asks her daughter Molly. Molly runs out to the back-yard hollering to her father that mommy said to get the 'sticks'.Laynie and both laugh which causes me to hold onto my enormous belly. I am currently eight months pregnant and I swear if there was a way to get this baby out sooner I would do it. Laynie walks over and closes the sliding glass door shut after Molly left it open."So how are you feeling?" Laynie asks coming back to the kitchen and grabbing the salad out of the fridge. We decided to have a barbeque at Alan and I's home for the fourth of July weekend. Shortly after everything went down six years ago, Alan and I got married and bought a house. I fought it at first, but Alan soon convinced me that we knew each other all our lives, we didn't need a timeline for marriage.Jared and Laynie are here with their three children, and Jed will be here soon. We invited Alan
VOLUME ONE: GUILTPrologueHave you ever had a moment of complete irony? I once looked up what the definition was. According to Siri irony was, and I quote,"a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result". Irony is amusing? I don't think so. Irony can be cruel and hurtful and completely damaging. For me anyways. You see six months ago I would have thought Irony was just a word in the English Dictionary that everyone knew, but couldn't exactly put words to explain. Now I know what Irony truly means, I'm living it.LayniePain slices through the back of my head at an alarming rate. I can hear a voice in the background, but am unsure of what it is saying. My back lands hard on the kitchen floor. God, I hate our hardwood flooring. Of course, Jared had to have the most expensive hardwood floor that cost sixteen hundred dollars a square foot. I'm not sure why, but when we moved in, he was very specific about what
LaynieYou know when your asleep but not really? I once took a psychology class in college. I learned a couple of important facts in that class. One, I am not meant to be a psychologist, at all. Second, slow wave sleep is stage three and four of the five stages of sleep. It is in this stage that you find yourself asleep, but when and if your jolted awake by something, you are unsure of your surroundings. You are not sure where you are for a moment, you have no idea how long you were out, and it takes you a second to remember what woke you up. I was definitely in the slow wave stage. A hand suddenly grabs my mouth as I shoot out of bed. Still not having any idea what woke me up I struggle with the hand tightening on my mouth. Thrashing in bed I managed to look to my left and notice Jared is being detained by two men. What the hell is going on? He looks a little sluggish trying to fight these men off and it dawns on me that he is still drunk. Looking back at the man responsible for my
JaredMy head throbs, my back is on fire, and I have no idea what's going on. It feels worse than the time I woke up hungover after my twenty first birthday party. My best friend Alan threw me a surprise party. Laynie and Anna weren't old enough to drink yet, so we celebrated with a few college buddies. We all woke up feeling like death and were in the middle of grocery store parking lot with homeless signs stapled to our stomachs. We never did remember what the hell happened the night before.I try to open my eyes but they are so heavy I just keep falling back asleep. Around the third try, I finally get enough strength to open them just slightly. What I see around me surprises, and put me at ease at the same time. I'm in a damn hospital. No one around to ask why, but I can finally pin point the smell. When my mother died of breast cancer I was in the hospital with her every day until her last. Being only seventeen, I ended up skipping school quite a bit. I had to. I was the only one
LaynieI've been irritated before, but nothing like this. I have been poked and prodded and have had enough. I want to see my husband. When my nurse leaves after her third attempt at putting my IV in, the two detectives that spoke to me earlier, walk in. I'm getting sick of these two. We have been at the hospital for hours and all they keep telling me about Jared's health, is that he is resting. Well this time they can shove it up their ass. I want to see him. I don't know what he wants me say to everyone that keeps asking me questions.It was obvious those men knew him, I just don't know if should say anything. Detective Stephanson walks up first. He reminds me of one of my college professors. His long legs but larger belly is almost laughable. He has shaggy blonde hair and looks like he hasn't showered in days, but I do prefer him over Andrews. When I woke up a few hours ago I had been told that Jared and I were on two different wings of the hospital. I wasn't stupid, I knew when t
JaredMy eyes slowly drift open. The pain is still intense, but I no longer feel like I am going to pass out after each breathe. The room is quiet and I wonder how long I've been out this time. I drifted in and out all day yesterday and if it weren't for nurse Candice coming in before her shift ended this morning I would have never known we have officially been here one day. I also asked nurse Candice how Laynie was and when I would get to see her. She smiled and told me to turn to my right. I did so, slowly, by her request, and never have my eyes seen a more beautiful sight. She lied there, in her own bed, which was not there the before, with her hands holding the pillow very tightly. She always did like sleeping like that. When I told Nurse Candice that, she smiled and told me to take care and left. She seems to have a story, but I'm not one to pry."Your awake."My thoughts of this morning are cut off by the voice I've been yearning to hear for the past 24 hours. I look to my right
Laynie I listen to everything Dr. Toring is telling us later on the next day. We are all set to go home and are getting instructions on how to care for ourselves privately. We both have express orders not to strain ourselves too much and to make sure we take our pain medication as needed. Jared is hunched over tying his shoes that his best friend Alan brought over. He is having a hard time bending over from the bed, but Alan makes no move to help him. I think he understands that Jared needs to do certain things himself, to not make him feel like he is dependent on us. Alan and Anna were our best friends in high school and college. When we moved to New York we continued to stay close, but I can tell Alan tried harder than Jared did.When Alan called Jared's phone last night, I knew I had to let him know what was going on. Jared was in a lot of pain, even though he wouldn't say. So, me and nurse Candice had a silent conversation, and five minutes later she came in the room with his pa