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Flashback: Graduation
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Don't Touch Chapter 5 [1-3]
“Do you want to talk about it?”I ran my fingers over the pillow I’m holding and looked over at Doctor Brown as she was writing in her notebook after I brought up my visit with my dad. I’ve been avoiding it and I felt bad that I promised Elliot that I would talk to her about it and I still feel embarrassed about the way I reacted. I sighed knowing that I had to talk about it and it really wasn’t something that I should be avoiding. I’ve always had a habit of holding in my emotions but it's more that I feel ashamed to react this way. I could only imagine the expression on my mother's face if she knew the things I’ve thought of over the years and the things I’ve done to myself. I couldn’t express myself so easily and maybe it’s better if I didn’t.“I was supposed to talk about what happened that week after it happened,” I informed her and took a deep breath. “I visited my dad and everything seemed fine. We talked, had dinner and I saw my sister, but my dad always finds a way to end the
Don't Touch Chapter 5 [2-3]
Stepping out of the hospital, I started making my way towards the bus stop and reached for my phone to remove the silence mode whenever I am in session. Looking over my messages from Luis and Fernando, there was also a message from Lucas sending me information on their meeting for tomorrow, and I wondered if Elliot was still going to come with me. I passed on the reminder to Elliot and stepped inside the bus then took a seat in the back. We really did talk a lot today on various topics and I wasn’t too sure if I discussed it all. I hadn’t planned for her to change my medication, but I will admit that my mood hasn’t been good for a few months now and maybe it is the stress that I’ve been putting myself in. But if my current medication hasn’t been helping me then I have to agree that this change would be helpful for me in the future and I need to learn to not have these sorts of thoughts.After everything that I went through in high school and graduating high school, I wanted to do my b
Don't Touch Chapter 5 [3-3]
I thought about the topics that were discussed and it felt like I might have more to say if I was comfortable speaking in front of people. They all seemed to have gone through something like I have and maybe what I went through cannot be related to some of these people in the room; if not, I don’t want to feel pitted. I never wanted anyone to pity me about my past, but maybe it won’t be so bad if I were to slowly open up to them and can have a good relationship like I have with my friends from high school. Luis and I grew closer during our senior year and as promised he was by my side when I wasn’t feeling so well. I've been so grateful for his help and company that I didn't expect from him.I rub my hands over my pants feeling anxious and within a couple of minutes the group meeting finally came to an end. Anyone who stuck around continued their conversation as they hung around the snack table while I went over to Lucas and Andre, who were cleaning up. I helped put the chairs away as
Don't Touch Chapter 6 [1-2]
I sat in the living room watching television until I finally received a text, and I started making my way outside seeing Elliot’s car parked in the driveway. I was excited about today since it has been some time since we’ve gone on a date and on last year’s anniversary we stayed at home. I only remember that Elliot wanted to go out for dinner, but other than that I don’t really know what his plans are and it makes me a bit anxious. Knowing Elliot, it would be something small and concealed so that wouldn’t be something unsettling for me. I got inside the car and the first thing I did was lean over towards him, kissing him softly.“Hi.” I said.“How are you?” He asked as he started driving after I put on my seat belt.“I’m doing well. I’m excited to go out today and we didn’t get to see each other last night.” I said, looking over at him.Elliot gave a loud sigh and said, “I’ve just been so caught up with my assignments and group projects that took a lot of my time. I’m sorry that I hav
Don't Touch Chapter 6 [2-2]
We continued on walking, I pulled off my shoes to feel the wet sand as we got closer to the ocean water and we strolled around for a while seeing the sun setting. I rolled my jeans up as the water came up to my ankle and it felt so refreshing having to spend the day here at the beach. Elliot tried giving me his jacket, but I wasn’t cold and he watched me as I dipped my feet a bit further into the water; I gave up on keeping my pants dry. The beach was finally less crowded as people started packing up with the moon beginning to rise and the pier began to light up for the evening.“You’re going to get sick,” Elliot warned, trying to call me back.“I’ll be fine,” I said, walking over to him and looking back over at the ocean. “I hope this summer we can come back here more often… Where you live, it’ll be further away from here and it’s also away from the mountain we used to hike at.”Elliot put his jacket over my shoulder, it feels warm. “We can make time. The semester will be over in a f
Don't Touch Chapter 7 [1-3]
The week went by so fast that I wasn’t too sure where to start, but I saw my doctor on Tuesday and it seems like it’ll take about three weeks for my insurance to approve the change of medication. All I could do is wait for a call from the pharmacy when it would be available and with the tutoring from Lucas helped me passed the quiz that the professor surprised us with on Wednesday. Lucas began to refuse payment for the sessions now and I felt like I needed to find something to pay for his help. When Friday arrived, I didn’t bother Elliot too much about coming to the meeting and I went straight home afterwards since I have plans to go over to Elliot’s new apartment the next day. He’s been focused on us that I want to do the same as well during my stay at his new apartment and for today I want to stop throwing my problems on him. I should stop bringing up these issues that I’ve been going through not wanting to worry him during our time apart and I feel like I owe him so much after all
Don't Touch Chapter 7 [2-3]
I made my way to the bus stop once I was ready and I knew it'd be a bit of a long ride so I distracted myself with some music. Staring out the window I saw the sky still shining and checked the map on the phone to look for the closest market near Elliot’s apartment. There was a market three blocks over and I would need to go to his apartment first to leave my stuff; which still leaves me an hour and a half before he’s out of class. When I was in the market I looked around trying to make sure I bought all the ingredients that were necessary for what I wanted to make and I frowned when I stepped outside. The rain that my mom mentioned wasn’t just a light rain, but a heavy pour, and last I heard it wasn’t supposed to rain for another three days. I shivered when the breeze hit my face and I pulled my hoodie to cover the top of my head as I started making my way back to the apartment. A short three-block felt so long and it was like the rained heavier the closer I made it back to the shelt
Don't Touch Chapter 7 [3-3]
Elliot stared down at me, his expression stiffened at my response before he moved my hands away and pulled off his shirt. He tossed his shirt to the side as he leaned forward kissing me and it felt like he was being gentle with each peek like he's willing to withdraw at any point if I asked him. I can feel that pounding sensation against his chest when I placed my hand on his chest letting my fingers linger and the unsure feeling returned. Where did that confidence disappear? I said that I wanted to do this and yet I’m pulling back again. Elliot saw my hesitation when I began to pull my hand away and reached out grabbing my wrist placing my hand right at the middle of his chest.“Can you feel that?” He asked me.I was curious at his question before noticing that I’m feeling his heart and its racing. That pounding feeling that I felt wasn't from me but from him. “Are you scared?”He smiled as he continued on kissing me and nodded, “Terrified. You're scared that I wouldn’t want you anym
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