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PINCH YOURSELF
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FORCED MARRIAGE WITH THE GANGSTA BILLIONAIRE GRANNY
You’re keeping your potential wife locked up in your unfinished basement?” Granny has this habit of clicking her dentures when she gets super pissed. She’s doing it now. They look like they’re going to hurtle out of her mouth and gobsmack someone right in the face.Weaponized dentures. Ha. Only my granny could manage that.Granny’s real name is Ana. I’m not kidding. She married into the name, and she kept it after her husband met an untimely end, thanks to a maniacal crime boss. He might have fallen in with the wrong people, and they did him down. Granny wasn’t going to stand for that. She vowed revenge, and at sixty one, with no family of her own, no children or grandchildren, and newly widowed, she enrolled herself with her husband’s meager life insurance money back into college. She took computer science. My god, did she take the shit out of computer science. Granted that the internet was just in its infancy, but computers had been around for a long time, and learning the basics me
FORCED MARRIAGE WITH THE GANGSTA BILLIONAIRE GIVE HIM A CHANCE
I was going to say you could start by charming her with pizza, but not like that,” Granny says. She sniffs the air. “You got anything normal in that stack?”“There’s a pepperoni with mushroom and spinach, a cheese with extra pineapple, a meat lovers with extra bacon, extra cheese, and extra meat, a buffalo chicken with broccoli, mushrooms, and alfredo sauce, and one taco with extra sour cream and lettuce,” Binksky rattles off. He’s basically a human hard drive. I’d say encyclopedia, but I’m not sure people know what those are anymore.“Don’t you boys eat anything normal? Whatever happened to just cheese or pepperoni or something normal like ham and pineapple?”Deano grunts. “No can do. Which one should I get for the little lady?”“I think you’d have more success with chocolate or wine. You got any of that?”I shrug. “Uh, that would be a hard no. I can pour her a scotch or a brandy or make her a protein shake.”“A protein shake?” Granny screeches. “Good lord, boy, you think the way to a
FORCED MARRIAGE WITH THE GANGSTA BILLIONAIRE MIKE IS A GOOD MAN
Her easy smile and also the easy way she drops F-bombs actually put me at ease. I find myself liking this badass granny, even if she’s firmly on the side of the baddies. She’s not on my side, at least, so that makes her a baddy. I guess.I bite down on the pizza, chewing slowly. The cheesy, meaty goodness explodes in my mouth, and I nearly let out a groan. I have no idea how long I was out, but I’m absolutely starving.“Mike is a good kid. Really.”“Mike?” I garble around the pizza.She nods. “That’s his name. Goodness mercy, what an ass. He didn’t even introduce himself to you. Yes, Mike. Anyway, you’ll have to forgive him. As I said, he had a rough start in life, and sometimes it shows. He was raised by a father who was more ruthless than you can imagine. He was grooming his son to be his successor, which meant showing no mercy and allowing no weakness. The fact that Mike had any goodness left in him at all is astounding, really. He watched his father and mother be gunned down by a r
FORCED MARRIAGE WITH THE GANGSTA BILLIONAIRE SHE’S SEXY
And my old, boring life back.She cranes her head up to me. She’s at least seven inches shorter than I am since we’re both wearing heels. She winks at me again and cackles. “Welcome to our world, Sharon. Even if you’re not staying in it for long, it’s a real ride.”MIKEI’m not sure how Granny did it, but she convinced my not so captivated captive of a fiancé to have a bath. Granny didn’t even wait until the water started running upstairs. She got on the phone right away and ordered an ‘unspoiled, unadulterated, hold the anchovies, not disgusting, non-abomination of a not so disastrous pizza.’After Granny gets off the phone, she gives me a look that is both scathing, hopeful, and exhausted. “Unless you can get your fanny to the mall and buy a fresh set of clothes, I’d suggest hoofing it upstairs to your room to find something she can slip into after that bath. Something that isn’t going to fall off when she takes a step.”The guys are sitting at the table, engaged in some rousing boa
FORCED MARRIAGE WITH THE GANGSTA BILLIONAIRE ESCAPE TRY
It could have happened with the bike. The bike would have been hard.”“Right. Yes, that’s it, then. I’ll be sure to tell it that way next time. If only to see people’s expressions when I do.”We both stand there silently after, with nothing to say. Granny’s right. I really could use some charm. Or at least the ability to talk to a woman without getting all strange and awkward and silent on them.“My brothers,” I blurt, scaring Sharon such that she jumps a little. “They’re coming tomorrow morning. Flying in tonight. You wanted proof, so my granny is going to give it to you. Don’t worry. They’re mostly harmless—annoying but harmless. They’re a tad crazy and more than a bit rough around the edges, but as a whole, they’re good shit.”Oh. Uh…” Sharon reaches up and clasps a wet strand of hair.Right now, it’s not the burnished gold it was before. It’s dark and frizzy up top. Without makeup, she looks younger. Or maybe it’s because of my clothes that she’s swimming in. Whatever it is, she l
FORCED MARRIAGE WITH THE GANGSTA BILLIONAIRE THE KISS
I fight with everything I have, letting out a scream of frustration and despair that all my stellar escape efforts are going to waste. I lash out and kick at him, but it’s futile. Mike handles me easily. He hauls me up, throwing me over his shoulder like a nasty old bag of potatoes. I’m so stunned at being turned upside down that it takes me a good long moment to reorient myself and get the blood flowing properly to come up with Plan B.Although by now, I might be on Plan X. It turns out I couldn’t wash myself down the bathtub drain when I was having a bath like I wished I could. Sewer escapes are much, much harder than anyone gives them credit for.Suddenly, against my will, my eyes fly open, and I stop thrashing. Hello, Mike tight ass. What? No, stop looking at his ass. But it’s a perfect angle. No, it doesn’t matter. Stop. Right. Now. It’s a good thing I don’t listen to the good voice in my head and go instead with the devil’s whispers. I reach down—no, not to touch the world’s mos
FORCED MARRIAGE WITH THE GANGSTA BILLIONAIRE STUBBORN
MIKEI feel like locking my legs together and putting a protective hand over my junk when I knock on the door, but I maintain a normal stance. If Sharon wants to walk out and belt me again, I’m going to have to take it—and take it with a smile. And maybe be smart enough to see it coming this time and get out of the way.The door creaks open, and one sapphire-hued eye peeks through. When she sees it’s me, there’s a huff and a groan then the door reluctantly slides open a few more inches. Since my T-shirt got soaked the night before, she’s wound herself up in the quilt, draping it over her body until she looks like a mummified sausage roll. Her eyes widen when they sweep down my length. Yup, I went full-on wolf this morning, even if looking like a sheep would have been better. I’m wearing my regular black attire a pressed, tailored twenty four hundred dollarMM suit and shined shoes. I look like I’m getting ready to rock a conference room, though the thought of me stepping into an office
FORCED MARRIAGE WITH THE GANGSTA BILLIONAIRE MEETING THE BROTHERS
Whose fault is it if I don’t have a pair anymore because someone kneed them to kingdom come last night?”There’s a fast blink, followed by an innocent, sweet smile. “I think the entire world would agree that the fault lies entirely with you for that one, my darling sweetheart of an unwanted fiancé. Entirely. With. You.”She holds her head high, as she walks down the stairs, one small, dainty hand on the railing as she makes her way down. I stare after her, my mouth gaping open with a faint buzzing in my blood and a not-so-faint ache in my nuts at the reminder of last night. And I know. I know she’s as right about that as she has been about everything else.Now that Plan A has backfired so spectacularly, I need to “put on my big boy breeches” and go for Plan B.I suppose I should also figure out what Plan B is. Yeah, that’s right. So I thought this would go a lot more smoothly than it did. Har hardy har har.Sharon Despite the whole salt of the earth, good people talk just given to me
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