"Do you want to come in?" The evening hadn't been spectacular. He'd used a coupon to pay for dinner at an already cheap restaurant, ordered us both water, and insisted we split an entrée. Skinny jeans on a man just didn't do it for me, and he wasn't fooling anyone with the way he combed his hair over the thinning spot near his forehead-but overall, he'd been pleasant. Minus the horrible clothing and bad hair, he appeared to be fit. He wasn't awful looking if I squinted in the right light-just a bit of a loser-and truth be told, my vibrator needed new batteries. The only positive thing about my previous marriage was my ex-husband's ability to thoroughly satisfy me seven ways to Sunday. I held on to the relationship far longer than I should have, but women peaked later in life than men, and when I had a man who filled that void, it made up for a lot-especially when he was creative. I won't go into the depths of all I forgave, but let's just say it led me here to a single life where th
I was done. Done with men. Women say it all the time; they get fed up, throw their hands in the air, and vow a life of celibacy-until the next chiseled chest comes into view, and then they're foaming at the mouth and wiping the drool from their chin. But this was different, I really meant it. I'd been manhandled by the last pig that would ever bring his sausage near me. After one of the nastiest divorces in history, followed by some of the crudest and raunchiest dates, I'd decided to bat for the other team. Ronnie roared with laughter as I made my proclamation. Just before her features cleared, she realized my mind was set. "Giselle, you don't just decide to become a lesbian. You either are, or you aren't, and based on the fact you've been sucking stick instead of going down to Taco Town since puberty, it's unlikely you just missed the signs."My best friend, Veronica, would know. She was the girl every guy wanted, every girl wanted to be, and in the end, she preferred f
I decided to start over with my dating profiles. None of them had worked for heterosexual relationships, so I doubted just switching the bubble to female looking for female would be beneficial. I needed to totally redesign myself and be honest about what I was after. The truth was, at this point in my life, my girlfriends were more important than dating. I valued my tried and true friendships more than money, but all I was really after was gratifying sex. I wasn't ashamed to admit that, either. I didn't want to whore myself out to the highest bidder, but I wasn't opposed to having an exclusive sexual relationship with no strings attached. In fact, I'd prefer it-I just no longer wanted to do it with men.When I got to the questions about the physical characteristics of the partners I sought, I drew a blank. I'd always found women attractive-I could admire their beauty and praise their assets-but if I were to outline my perfect woman, I had nothing. I saved my incomplete profile and st
It didn't take me long to become totally immersed in the online dating world of women. The conversations were easier, I related to things going on in their lives, and we all had similar interests. I chastised myself for not giving this a shot years ago instead of picking off one loser after another with a penis. Once I'd gotten rid of the duck-lipped selfies, and what I thought appealed to women, I took off on a path to an endless world of females. True, my standards were ridiculously high, but thus far, I'd had no problems attracting the Jessica Rabbits of the online community. What I had yet to do was meet any of them.It turned out females were just as eager as males to actually get together in person and not just spend hours talking on the phone, texting, or exchanging "get to know you" emails. Foolishly, I'd assumed women would drag out the whole introductory phase instead of diving right in. But when the rubber met the road, I was the one who got gun shy. I found reasons not to
It was early in the evening, and the after-work crowd still mingled after happy hour before the night owls would stroll in. Beck stood out like a beacon in the night amongst the suits and ties. And it didn't take long for me to notice the men staring her down from their seats at the bar. Her pictures online hadn't done her justice. Beck was stunning-model gorgeous with exotic, green eyes. Instead of the sight of her intimidating me, it fueled my fire. I straightened my spine, pulled my shoulders back, and sashayed with one leather boot-clad foot in front of the other until I reached her side. And then I promptly fell apart. I didn't have a clue what to do or how to handle an introduction. I wasn't sure if I should extend my hand, lean in for a hug, or peck her on the cheek, and instead, it ended up being an awkward handshake-hug with a kiss on the ear. I stumbled into her almost knocking her over before I could pull myself back. "Jesus, I'm sorry." I tried to bite my tongue and r
I knew I would probably get Ronnie in trouble, but Trish would have to get over it. Surely, from one lesbian to another, she could appreciate the newness of the situation. "Hey, Giselle. Hang on. I'll get Veronica." I wondered why Trish answered her phone if she was so put off by people actually calling the person it belonged to, but I kept my mouth shut and waited. "So, how'd it go? Your lips still wet from your first muff?"Of course, my friend had to turn this into a locker room chat. "No, heifer. We had drinks. It was nice.""Then why do you sound so unsure?""She paid the bill.""She digs you. And if you let her, I assume you thought she was pretty kinky, too."I rolled my eyes. In the last two weeks, my best friend had gone from this well-put-together, gorgeous woman to a horny teenager with a crass mouth. "We're having dinner on Friday. She's cooking.""Wow." Here's where things got sticky. Since my divorce, I wasn't interested in relationships. I rarely saw
Work flew by surprisingly fast. Normally, an eight-hour day felt like twelve, but somehow, my nervous anticipation helped the clock tick faster on the wall instead of dragging it out. I'd been with Stearns and Wilkes since I got out of college. I have a degree in business from the state university, but I hadn't had a clue what I wanted to do with it when I graduated. I just knew I had to have one-a degree that is. The law firm was one of the largest on the East Coast, and I'd started as the receptionist. The guy who'd hired me hadn't even pretended it was based on my potential-he flat out told me I'd appeal to their male clientele. That was seventeen years ago, which still did not put me at forty-close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades-and I still held that same special clout...appeal for the male clientele. Only now, I was the Executive Secretary for one of the firm's managing partners. That sounded fancy, but there were paralegals who did the actual paperwork and grun
By the time my knuckles met the wood at her entryway, I'd forgotten about the dude with the car, and his memory had been replaced by nervous butterflies threatening to take flight in my stomach. When Beck answered the door, my mouth fell open, and what had been an abundance of saliva, dried up into the Sahara Desert. Apparently, I hadn't understood what dinner meant or had missed the memo on just how casual this affair was. As I stood, jeans and a fancy T-shirt was overdressed. Clothes at all appeared to be optional. My eyebrows rose on my forehead, and I managed to snap my jaw shut when Beck giggled. Maybe I was early, and she hadn't finished dressing. I doubted she planned to cook in a silk robe that barely covered her ass, but maybe I'd caught her between preparing dinner and jeans. "Come on in.""I met your brother outside. He seemed...less than happy." I didn't have a clue what to say to a woman I barely knew standing in the doorway with nothing on but a thin piece of fabr