Chapter 30

The absence of Fitz has been intolerable. I swing between elation at Edmund’s departure and heartsick despair. I allow myself one cry. Straight after the they left, exhausted from my night in Fitz’s room and overcome with the shock of his leaving I gave in to despair.

With the door locked the servants knew not to approach. My eyes were red and puffy, cheeks sore from wiping away tears but then I came to back to myself. Observing from the sash windows I tried to think clearly. Fitz believed me to be an intelligent, capable woman. Alongside a dozen other things which made me blush and smile just to remember.

I could not remember a time before where Tarrick Hall had been at my disposal. What could I use this situation for?

I must push the idea of Edmund insisting on being present in the room to the rear of my mind. Otherwise my hands tremble and nausea overwhelm. Instead I pace the parlour, my gown swishing as I grow more frustrated.

I remember the things Edmund forbade me from over