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Chapter 33
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Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 34
There is no single term available to describe the following week. Bliss, heaven, freedom. Each night Edmund delivered me to that room and Fitz devoured me. Once the three nights were up I could not stand to go back to ignorance. I wanted to be impregnated this month, so I snuck into Fitz's room three more nights. I was shown a world of pleasures that I had not even dared imagine. He could be tenderness personified, whispering adoration into my ear as he made my sex quiver with need. I appeared to develop a separate personality. I sit as placid as a porcelain doll in my parlour all day long. Pliable, quiet and obedient. I take tea, needlepoint and meet with a local group of church women. We discuss the leaves on the road, the change in seasons, the latest fashions. Edmund has encouraged this, since Lady Cawley’s downfall there is a renewed focus on morality. I sit listening to impromptu sermons from the grey-haired zealots about the joys of marriage. The purity of the households
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 35
The sound of relentless banging and hammering led me to wander down the corridor to the most rarely visited room in Tarrick Hall, Edmunds bedroom suite. I had never dared go near after our honeymoon. The few times I had wandered to enquire about his shouts of pain had left me banished without setting foot over the threshold. Now the double mahogany doors were wide open. Royal blue patterned rugs covered the wooden floor. A huge dark, almost blackened wood four poster bed dominated the room. It was of a similar size to my own suite much further away, however this was dominated by medicine. White jackets with belts and straps were hung up over leather armchairs. Medicine bottles, metal pill cases and bloodletting equipment littered the desk by the window. There was a chemical smell, no flowers or comforts adorned the space. Even his bed lacked comfortable pillows and rich, warm sheets. It was simply a large mattress with a simple sheet. I wondered if the flatness was to aid his ba
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 36
As much as it pained me, we parted ways as agreed. I did not venture anywhere near the stables, he did not walk the horses past my parlour window. I subdued myself and turned inwards. Now I began obsessing over every bodily change. If a breeze made my skin itch, was it a sign of successful conception? A slight stomach-ache after eating an apple pudding? Edmund was no better. After two weeks of his daily steaming treatment he was in a foul mood. Unable to eat anything other than the foul-smelling broth prepared by Doctor Farrer, he seemed to study my eating with fascination. “How are you feeling?” he asked one evening, causing me to almost drop my spoon in shock. “I…I feel well, no different than usual Your Grace. Thank you for enquiring. How are you, are your treatments helping?” “Marie tells me there is no sign yet,” ignoring my question. I cringed to think of her reporting on the status of my bedsheets every morning. He briskly waved his quivering hand at the manservant to leave
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 37
I have been at my mother’s estate for over two weeks. Feigning illness I have been spared the worst of her cruel tongue though I cannot doubt she spotted the bruise on my cheek as I stepped down from the carriage. Jeremiah prepared the carriage, Fitz was elsewhere when I left. I wished I had the chance to leave a note, or explain but there was nothing to do but flee. I trusted servant gossip would soon inform him of the situation. There is nothing so likely to fuel their tongues than clearing up a mess. I am here to rest my wearied mind, I explained to mother and Kitty. I am hoping to conceive, and Edmund suggested a change of scene might help to relax me. It is a lie of course. We all know it, but it remains unspoken. In loose fitting lilac and pink day gowns I spent entire days in my mother’s cold blue parlour. Icy tones dominate. From the grey of her hair to the pearls she dons everything shimmers coldly. Kitty remains a diversion. She has kindly spent hours at my side reading, c
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 38
***FITZ POV***If these two weeks have been a taste of the future, I am destined to be thoroughly miserable. I was called to fix some damn problem with a tube in the Duke's wretched steaming cabinet and by the time I had finished she had already left.There was a part of me that was utterly convinced that the tube was disconnected intentionally. Edmund and his increasingly snake-like disposition seeks to wound where he can. He cannot strike me but he can interfere and meddle.Although Vanessa had abandoned Tarrick Hall before dawn had even a chance to fully rise. It only took me half an hour of loitering in the kitchens to hear what had occurred."The mess Sophie had to clean! Dishes everywhere!"He did that after though, didn't he?""Yes she left, well ran back to her room and he started throwing plates around."At this point my jaw clenched almost to the point of pain as I appeared to idly gather mine and Jeremiah's breakfast."Well I never! The Duchess running, I have never seen su
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 39
It is already the end of November, autumn has given way to a chill and miserable winter. It suits my bereft attitude entirely. Four weeks since Fitz left without trace. I know he had to but it didn’t stop me raking through my room looking for any kind of token. A single petal would have left me content but nothing. It was impossible to expect such miracles. I know he was asked to leave straight away from Edmunds office. To direct himself to an entirely different wing or floor to access my room or parlour would be unthinkable. Yet I am sad. Thankfully my pregnancy is very much confirmed. Nobody else knows. The servants of course may gossip, Marie is under the strictest confidence. Even Doctor Farrers has not attended to me. Not because Edmund is worried the pregnancy might founder, but because he wants to land with a splash in the gossip pages. He publicly derides their puerile gossip, yet I have seen his extensive, lurid collection to know he would most likely adore his name to app
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 40
***Fitz POV***Despite rescuing my elder brother, again, from the debtors' prison he was uniformly ungrateful. I purchased him a commission in the Royal Regiment of Horse Guards. It took some convincing of the gruff, jolly Captain Sanderson and extortionate payment but I needed a ceremonial regiment that was unlikely to see war. I would hardly be enacting my vow to my mother to save him from one disaster only to send him hurtling towards cannonfire.It means James is now safely ensconced within a disciplined collection of men. To be ill behaved, disreputable might see a swift transfer to a company expecting to ship across to France. The threat of which I hope will keep James in check, at least for the Season."Well then little brother, what godly favours have landed in your lap to furnish me so pleasantly?""The last such furnishing of its type," I bitterly reply."Oh of course. I quite understand you are discharging me from your tender nursing, you only left me in their four months,
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 41
The next two weeks saw an endless parade of visitors. Instead of heading out of the house everybody wished to see me. I was holed up in the parlous serving endless rounds of tea, answering the same dozen questions and smiling until my jaw hurt. Edmund believed himself mean by not taking me to every ball and invitation, in reality I was too tired. I had a new physician, Doctor Irwin Mathers. He was of the new school of midwifery, had attended to various royal family members and was a warm, gentle soul. He was from Ireland originally and had the kindest eyes. His patchwork black and grey hair reminded me of a badger which seemed cruel to point out. When he first set to examining me with the stethoscope upon my chest he saw how skittish I was. I did not want to be touched, fondled or exposed in any way. As though calming a nervous horse he simply waited until I was calm. He kept his eyes to the floor, as if aware I felt the gaze of men such as him discomforting. “Your Grace, I am you
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